Author: John

LINKS Chelsea Handler’s bathtub surprise, One Direction reunion?, SNL At Home…

THE BLASTIt’s no new thing to see Chelsea Handler naked (or at least topless), so Chelsea Handler’s bathtub surprise is less the fact that she’s sharing photos and video of herself lounging in her tub completely in the buff and more that Chelsea is using her nudity to promote a few quarantine book reviews. Also, the tub is empty, which combined with the photographer just seems like a recipe for double discomfort?

LAINEY GOSSIPApparently One Direction is maybe going to reunite at some point this year. 4/5 of the group looked to have been on board, with Zayn Malik the only holdout, but now it looks like Zayn might be on board? Plus, all the old One Direction social media accounts and web sites are mysteriously active once more

CELEBITCHYThis is the only positive review of SNL At Home that I’ve seen. Every other site seemed to think it landed somewhere on a spectrum that began with “Awkward as Hell” and ended with “Hot Garbage Unfit for Lorne Michaels’ Graveside Compost Pile”

VOXEvidently if we want America to “reopen” we’re going to need to conduct Covid-19 tests on a massive scale in order to make sure that healthy people are still healthy and find out when sick people got sick. “Massive” in this context means possibly as many as 35 million tests per day. As of yesterday, the US had conducted just shy of three million tests total

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPJersey Shore Stars Snooki, Jwoww & Deena Cortese Say They’re Not Close to Sammi Giancola & Probably Won’t Be Invited to Her Upcoming Wedding”

JEZEBELRHONY fans, here’s a new opportunity for you to get salty while you try, desperately, to run out the self-isolation clock: “Tramp Stamps, Bucket Hats, and Frosé: A Real Housewives of New York Power Ranking”

REALITY TEAJenna MacGilllivray from Below Deck Sailing Yacht has no problem staying professional while also flirting heavily / making out in the walk-in ith Adam Glick, according to Jenna MacGillivray. I really don’t understand how *everyone* on the Below Deck shows isn’t shacked up with a co-worker. It’s tight quarters; you’re confined to the ship; the cameras are begging for #content — what’s there to lose?

GO FUG YOURSELF“Proving it is possible to find good news amid the wreckage of our feelings, beloved author Beverly Cleary turned 104, and with any luck spent the day being reminded just how formative she was to multiple generations of children who are now having children of their own — some of whom may even have their own children by now”

DLISTEDBen Affleck and Ana de Armas did not take an Easter break from their usual pap stroll; a couple of days after they both wore face masks (once), Ana put on what’s being called a “Gucci hazmat suit” and what I think looks like a designer Ghostbusters outfit. The red stripe on the breast pocket is a wonderful touch, even if it does clash with their purple dog leash

THE BLEMISHFinally, it seems convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein wasn’t terrible to women exclusively during his time as one of the most powerful executives in Hollywood. Kevin Smith just revealed that Weinstein kept Clerks royalties from him for upwards of seven years, and that Smith had to have Weinstein’s books audited before getting any cash. This is not to say that being a huge dick about money is as bad as committing rape — it is very much not! — but rather to point out that we’ll likely be hearing about what a huge dick Harvey Weinstein was to people for a long, long time

Tory Lanez drops new album ‘The New Toronto 3’ ahead of Quarantine Radio comeback

The head of Instagram has already acknowledged that IG banned Tory Lanez for a non-existent rules violation. So when is Quarantine Radio back? And what will Tory do now that he (maybe) can’t feature twerking any more? The 27-year-old pandemic phenom isn’t sweating it — he just dropped his latest mixtape while building up anticipation for his IG Live return!

My 600 Lb Life lawsuit update: Megalomedia files to dismiss three of eight current legal challenges

After several weeks of seeing new legal challenges from former My 600 Lb Life cast members, production company Megalomedia has requested a dismissal of three of those cases. In the latest My 600 Lb Life lawsuit update, Megalomedia argues that every cast member to appear on the show has already waived its right to sue by signing the infamous talent agreement — details from which are now public for the first time.

LINKS NeNe and Kandi drama, Virtual Burning Man, How to be alone…

REALITY TEAIn unsurprising yet still worthwhile RHOA news, NeNe and Kandi are snipping at each other again because NeNe is upset that Kandi is getting yet another post-season finale spinoff of her own while NeNe still can’t get a taste

DLISTEDFor some reason, Burning Man 2020 wasn’t canceled already? But if you’re really, super, supremely willing to participate nonetheless, you can still participate in the festival via its Virtual City (?) & digital re-interpretation. Ticket prices TBA

VOX“How to be alone: Solitude is a skill. You can get better at it with practice”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPIn case you missed it yesterday, please enjoy “The Ashley Presents: The Top 5 Teen Mom Easter Moments of All Time”

THE BLEMISHNo, Colin Kaepernick wasn’t actually signed to a one-year deal by the New York Jets. But that didn’t stop an easily detectable parody account from tweeting out the news as if it were official — not even on April Fool’s Day, props! — and getting thousands upon thousands of retweets

JEZEBELSpeaking of petty New York issues, it seems the quarantine drama on the Long Island and New Jersey suburbs now includes leaf blowers, because everybody has one, they’re a power tool you need almost no skill to use, and since everyone is now stuck at home it seems you can’t go a full hour without hearing one. If only one good thing comes out of this pandemic, I hope it’s the full-on banning of leaf blowers in far more cities, counties, states, and anywhere else that wants to get in the game

THE BLASTI totally get Kim Kardashian going off on North West for not just leaving her the f*ck alone already while Kim tried to do a five-minute makeup tutorial. But, Kim, you can’t tell me those doors don’t all lock

LAINEY GOSSIPOut: Tiger King. In: Killing Eve, which just began airing its third season this weekend

GO FUG YOURSELFGal Godot’s Vogue cover was designed and written and maybe even printed before the coronavirus pandemic pushed the premiere of Wonder Woman 1984 back so far you can barely even imagine such a date (August 14? What on earth is that?). Turns out that was fortiutous, because this is also a throwback Vogue cover story in several major & great ways

CELEBITCHYFinally, in case you haven’t been already, do yourself a favor and become a regular listener of Celebitchy’s podcast, which was thoroughly good both on its own and as a distraction from the terrors of moment-to-moment existence even before our current pandemic. Among the many topics they cover this week: the unexpected bliss of binging Ancient Aliens to get away from it all. Click through to the article from the link or just click play below!

LINKS Florence Pugh and Zach Braff, No more handshakes?, Quarantine dreams…

DLISTEDIt seems the gossip about the age difference between Florence Pugh and Zach Braff — she’s 24; he’s 45 — has finally reached a boiling point for the Little Women star. Florence posted a whole video to Instagram responding to the constant (negative) comments she’s received in the year she and Zach have been dating, saying among other things “I am 24 years old. I do not need you to tell me who I should and should not love and I would never in my life tell anyone who they can and cannot love”

CELEBITCHYThe increasingly famous Dr. Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases (kinda feels like the order of those two should be flipped), thinks that when the world has coronavirus under control we should probably not go back to shaking hands “ever again.” I don’t know what’s more farfetched at this point: people agreeing to give up handshakes or the idea that we’ll ever have coronavirus locked down

VOXSemi-good news: If you’ve been having especially weird and / or horrifying dreams while self-isolating, you’re not alone! According to a social psychologist and literal dream expert, stressful dreams are perfectly normal during times of high waking stress, and are supposed to be — believe it or not — helpful

THE BLEMISHEither John Cusack is not a 5G conspiracy theorist and he tweeted out some bullshit before fully understanding what he was doing or Cusack *is* a 5G conspiracy theorist who shares control of his Twitter account with his PR people

LAINEY GOSSIPI thought bras were already over for the duration of the quarantine and now the question was whether women would ever wear them again when we don’t need to quarantine anymore? (But, again, who can imagine such a thing?)

REALITY TEAJoe Abruzzo, who dated Kathryn Dennis on Southern Charm for half a minute last year — i.e., the season nobody watched — is suing three cast members *and* Bravo for ten million dollars. Evidently, Abruzzo was defamed and suffered emotional distress when non-nude photos of himself that the cast discussed in one scene were blurred by SC’s editors so the cast’s comments about Abruzzo’s already-not-visible dick would seem more appropriate and insulting

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPTeen Mom News Pile: Debra Danielsen (Oddly) Scolds Kail Lowry, David Eason Throws a Tantrum & More”

JEZEBELIt will probably come as no surprise for you to learn that Simone Biles, Olympic athlete, gold medal winner and all-around world-class physical specimen, has a quarantine workout routine that just watching will probably make you cry

GO FUG YOURSELFIt seems that several popular British radio hosts are still going into their radio station offices for their radio presentation jobs instead of just doing them from home like every other presence-dependent celebrity with a smartphone

THE BLASTTotal Bellas star Nikki Bella is 23 weeks pregnant and looking as healthy as you’d want an expectant mother to be in the middle of a global pandemic

EXCLUSIVE Annjeanette Whaley sues My 600 Lb Life producers for fraud, gross negligence in 8th lawsuit against Megalomedia

My 600 Lb Life star Annjeanette Whaley just became the eighth member of the show’s cast to sue its producers — and the Season 7 star is adding to the prosecution’s fraud case. Among other accusations, Annjeanette’s lawsuit alleges Megalomedia broke its promise to pay her medical bills following successful weight loss surgery. Annjeanette is now the third cast member to sue Megalomedia for fraud specifically relating to unmade medical payments; read on for the details.

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler’s Bahamas Coronavirus Vacation is officially over

The increasingly bad, downright puzzling look that was the Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler Bahamas vacation came to a quiet end yesterday, as the couple and their influencer traveling partners arrived back at home for (presumably) a long quarantine. Yet unanswered is the key question, one that I feel really can’t be asked forcefully enough: Why were Kristin and Jay on vacation for so long in the middle of a global pandemic?

MY 600 LB LIFE Tiffany celebrates huge ‘personal achievement’ one year after surgery

It’s been a minute since we’ve checked in on the My 600 Lb Life Tiffany story, and the 29-year-old new Texas native has plenty to share! Tiffany Barker, who had one of the most successful weight loss journeys of Season 7, has revealed new Instagram and Facebook information for fans interested in keeping up with her. Tiffany also shared a huge “personal milestone” a year after her successful weight loss surgery. Read on for the latest.