DLISTED – The ongoing R. Kelly sexual assault trial now has a new wrinkle — or, more specifically, at least three of them, since that’s how many of his associates were arrested on R. Kelly witness intimidation charges after allegedly trying to threaten and / or bribe some of the women set to testify against him
JEZEBEL – A whole bunch of people appear to be mad at the song “WAP,” and at Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion for writing it; it may come as no surprise to you to learn that most of these people appear to be men
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – After getting fired by ViacomCBS for anti-Semitic remarks earlier this year, Nick Cannon is responding by apparently suing the Wild ‘N Out broadcaster for $1.5 billion, which Cannon claims is the value of the Wild ‘N Out brand
THE BLAST – New Vanderpump Rules star Danica Dow is reportedly on the way out of the show’s cast because of her ex Brett Willis’ “violent abuse allegations,” which have “a majority of the cast members” worried for their own safety
CELEBITCHY – Meghan and Harry bought themselves a fancy house in Santa Barbara for eight figures, but the British tabloids are spoiling it like Meghan at Princess Eugenie’s wedding by claiming that Prince Charles had to step in and help the couple out with the financing
VOX – If you’re feeling especially vulnerable right now, try this article out: “The surprising benefits of contemplating your death: Now is the perfect time to face your fear of mortality. Here’s how”
REALITY TEA – Below Deck Mediterranean star Malia White responded to former cast member Pete Hunziker’s claims she rides the cocaine rodeo by denying everything and asking Pete to “#stayclassy” in her Instagran stories
GO FUG YOURSELF – “In Honor of Viola Davis’s Birthday: My Ten Favorite Looks of Hers” (It’s actually thirteen different looks, but isn’t that just three more reasons for happiness?)
LAINEY GOSSIP – And speaking of pondering your own crashing mortality: “She Dies Tomorrow is definitely not going to be for everyone. In a normal year, this is the kind of film that divides people (“Nothing happens!” someone will definitely say), and in 2020 it might just be too much, given the reflection of the real pandemic we’re in. Understandable. But if you want to experience a quarantine fever dream, then She Dies Tomorrow is the film for you”
(Photo credit: R. Kelly witness intimidation via Instagram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
