Daily Starbuzz

Stormy Daniels arrested 2

LINKS! Stormy Daniels arrested, Jada Pinkett Smith’s sex addiction, Porsha Williams engaged?…

CELEBITCHYStormy Daniels was arrested during her performance at a strip club in Columbus OH last night. Her lawyer Michael Avenatti claims the arrest was the result of Daniels “allowing a customer to touch her while on stage in a non sexual manner”

THE BLEMISHJada Pinkett Smith says she’s a sex addict who knew she had a masturbation problem when she found herself having five orgasms a day. Not to downplay sex addiction, but five sounds a little low for the problem threshold

REALITY TEARHOA star Porsha Williams may or may not have been buying engagement rings with her new boyfriend yesterday and may or may not have arranged to get caught doing so by paparazzi

JEZEBELSo the guy who played an unbelievably sadistic prison guard on OITNB is now the host of a game show where three contestants compete to have their crushing student loan debt paid off. I can only assume that the two losing contestants are then mauled to death by grizzly bears for the pleasure of their loan holders

VOXJohn Schnatter — better known as Papa John himself — has resigned as CEO of his now-former company after a recording went public in which Schnatter casually drops the n-word during a conference call. Bonus: the call was “set up to teach Schnatter how to not say offensive things”

PAJIBAApparently White House Chief of Staff John Kelly was not rolling his eyes at Donald Trump during a NATO breakfast yesterday; rather, he was “displeased” by the food selection. If I had a nickel for every time I contorted my face to express obvious displeasure at the noshing options during a high-level diplomatic meeting, I could afford to be a member of Trump’s cabinet

THE BLASTHere’s Lady Gaga strolling around the streets of New York City wearing head-to-toe leather, looking like Times Square circa 1978 and no doubt smelling like 1878

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPAslhee Simpson and Evan Ross are ready to unleash Ashlee+Evan their aptly titled E! documentary, upon the world; here’s the trailer

DLISTEDFirst The Rock thrilled everyone by suggesting he would run for president in 2020. Then he walked himself back by saying he was thinking about 2024 instead. Now he’s gone full Sherman and claimed he won’t be running at all

LAINEY GOSSIPAlthough it seems totally unnecessary to say the least that there are currently two different Joker origin story movies in production, it’s worth remembering that “this is actually not the worst idea.” The worst idea is the one of these movies starring Jared Leto. If you *have* to see one of them, see the Joaquin Phoenix one (but really see neither)

LINKS! Dutchess Meghan shows affection, Kylie’s bigger boobs, Thai cave rescue complete…

Dutchess Meghan shows affection 2

DLISTEDApparently Dutchess Meghan violated thousands of millennia of royal protocol by holding Prince Harry’s elbow at a public event yesterday. She also crossed her legs at the knees before realizing her heinous mistake and re-crossing them at the ankles. Blackmail forthcoming

CELEBITCHYKylie Jenner got real about her post-pregnancy body, saying that it actually only looks like she “bounced back super fast” because Instagram isn’t real life. She also, in a humblebrag for the ages, managed to reveal that her boobs are three times bigger than they used to be

VOXAll twelve of the Thai boys and their soccer coach made it out of the cave alive! Here’s how they did it

JEZEBELAn Ode on ‘Hurtling Towards Middle Age’

THE BLEMISHBilly Dee Williams is going to reprise his role as Lando Calrissian in the upcoming ninth Star Wars movie. Which is great and all, except he is definitely going to get killed late in the film and we are definitely not going to see his and Han Solo’s force ghosts gallivanting about space and causing mischief in the spin-off we all want but none of us deserve

PAJIBADid you know it was Cow Appreciation Day yesterday? Me either! Here are some cows

REALITY TEARHOC star Gina Kirchenheiter has officially filed for divorce from her husband Mathew, whose “crazy travel schedule basically left her a single mom”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPFormer 16 and Pregnant star Kayla Jordan gave birth to her third child two months after getting married, congrats!

THE BLASTThis can’t possibly be Gene Simmons’ *first* sexual harassment lawsuit, right? Of the decade or the year (or possibly the month)

LAINEY GOSSIPThis viral meme is extra exhausting

LINKS! Michael Cohen ready to flip, Ariana and Pete get graphic, Harvey Weinstein looking grim…

Michael Cohen ready to flip

CELEBITCHYFormer Trump lawyer Michael Cohen is about to become another in the parade of Trump turncoats willing to dish on the president in exchange for lenient sentencing for all the totally illegal stuff they’ve been doing their entire lives and that Trump managed to drag out into the daylight by winning the election

DLISTEDAriana Grande and Pete Davidson are firmly ensconced in the sex-crazy-and-tripping-over-each-other-to-publicly-praise-each-other’s-sex-organs phase of their relationship

THE BLASTA special round of applause for the staffer who found what may be the worst possible photo to accompany this story about how the three new sex crimes charges against Harvey Weinstein have him facing life in prison

THE BLEMISHI know the news about Drake actually having a son is a few days old now, but I missed this headline when the story broke and it’s really funny and deserves a wider audience, so enjoy

VERY SMART BROTHASSpeaking of Drake, here’s why Scorpion is really just a frozen waffle that didn’t thaw out completely in the toaster but that you eat anyway

JEZEBELYup, this headline checks out

VOX“A black 12-year-old was mowing a lawn. So someone called the police.”

REALITY TEAKristen Doute is pretty sure that James Kennedy has been cheating on Raquel Leviss, only she swears it’s not with her. And as Gob Bluth can tell you, unsubtle misdirection is still misdirection

LAINEY GOSSIPKendrick Lamar is on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, for a feature that essentially kicks off the “post-Puliter phase of [his] career” and is full of fresh insights on his process

PAJIBAHere’s Michelle Wolf with a fresh round of thoughts on the Trump administration, including some things you might say to its members should you encounter them at a nearby country club

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPDeena Cortese of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation is expecting her first child with husband Chris Buckner, congrats!

LINKS! Drake has a son, Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx break up, 1.39 billion pounds of extra cheese…

Drake has a son

CELEBITCHYDrake confirms on his new album Scorpion that he has a son after all. This is something we’ve all known since Pusha spilled his tea during their feud last month (and that we’ve all suspected thanks to tabloid reporting for months before that). But now Drake gets to market his hidden son on his own terms, so, good for him?

THE BLEMISHKatie Holmes and Jamie Foxx, who were never officially dating in the first place, are now officially broken up. Apparently Jamie wanted to keep their love a secret even after Katie’s contract with Tom Cruise — yep! — expired and they could finally go public

VOXAmerica has a 1.39 billion-pound cheese surplus. How much cheese is that? This much: “There’s enough excess cheese to arm each American citizen with a hefty 4.6 pounds of the crumbly, melty, salty good stuff.” Where do we form the line

JEZEBELIf you’ve ever struggled with depression or anxiety and worried that needing to focus on that struggle made you a selfish person, read this essay

DLISTEDI’m not saying I knew that the song “Electric Slide” was about a vibrator, because I totally didn’t. I’m just saying that when you hear the words “‘Electric Slide’ is about a vibrator,” you respond “Ohhh, of course it is, how did no one see this before now”

LAINEY GOSSIPHere’s a photo gallery of Gwen Stefani looking radiant and Blake Shelton looking rumpled at the premiere of her Las Vegas residency to help you get ready for the next round of hot gossip about their alleged pending marriage and / or pregnancy

REALITY TEADorinda Medley went on Watch What Happens Live to talk about the cast’s ongoing feud with Bethenny Frankel, Ramona’s wine glass pic after Luann de Lesseps got out of rehab — and more!

VERY SMART BROTHAS“10 Things Easier to Comprehend Than Household Income of $117,000 Being Considered Low-Income in the Bay Area”

PAJIBAYou will find this montage of a dog being surprised by its owner’s farts either hilarious or maddeningly dumb, so consider it a personality test and give it a look

THE BLASTPaul Teutul Sr.’s bankruptcy woes continue — the American Chopper star had to sell off his classic car collection to keep his business afloat

Big Dick Energy 2

LINKS! Big Dick Energy, Scarlett Johansson and Tom Cruise rumors, Mel B hired a hitman?…

THE BLEMISH“Big Dick Energy” was coined in the wake of Anthony Bourdain’s death a few weeks ago, but it took off as the social media meme of the summer this week when Ariana Grande kinda-sorta disclosed that her fiancé Pete Davidson is maybe really well-endowed

CELEBITCHYSpeaking of the exact opposite of that, Scarlett Johansson is fighting a new rumor that she “auditioned to be in a relationship” with Tom Cruise sometime around 2004. The latest iteration: Scarlett could totally have auditioned for such a “role” without ever knowing she was doing it, by literally auditioning for a movie with Tom and his Scientology handlers in the room

THE BLASTIn other disturbing relationship news, Mel B of Spice Girls fame is fighting back against claims she told a friend of she and Stephen Belafonte’s that Mel “would be better off” if Stephen were dead, wink-wink nudge-nudge

DLISTEDIt’s probably just a coincidence that while Mel served as a guest co-host on Today that she continued to insist the Spice Girls are going to reunite for a grand world tour despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary

JEZEBELIf you’re having trouble navigating the world these days, perhaps you’ll take some comfort in this three-minute video demonstrating “how to rescue a waterlogged book.” It can be done!

PAJIBAAnd if that clip doesn’t do it for you, here’s a photo gallery of adorable puppies and kitties (is there any other kind?), curated specifically to help you navigate the rough waters of everyday life

LAINEY GOSSIPIn other Big Dick Energy news, here’s a convincing explanation of why Chris Pine has got the stuff in abundance, along with a photo gallery of he and Gal Godot on the set of Wonder Woman 1984

REALITY TEAConrad Empson from Below Deck Mediterranean says he likes cast- and crew-mate Hannah Ferrier because he “saw a different side to her than we see on the show”

LINKS! Kim Kardashian’s real estate deal, Thomas Markle’s estrangement tour, Seinfeld pretty petty…

Kim Kardashian's real estate deal

THE BLASTThe Ukrainian billionaire who bought Kim and Kanye’s mansion last year apparently paid way more than the house was worth, but did so on the condition that Kim would use her social media reach to help make the woman a famous singer (& also that Kim would appear at a few of her public functions)

LAINEY GOSSIPI really don’t get what’s up with Thomas Markle, who at this point “is communicating more with TMZ and other media outlets than he is with” his daughter. Thomas’ latest is that he “thinks he’s getting the cold shoulder” from the royal family, which…yes? How perceptive of you?

PAJIBAJerry Seinfeld remains pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty insulated from things like consequences. His take on Roseanne’s firing from the Roseanne reboot is a great reminder of the insulation that a $500 million fortune gets you

THE BLEMISHLindsay Lohan is developing her own reality show “centering around her and the opening of the Lohan Beach House” in Greece. She’s working with MTV, which is apparently going for a Vanderpump Rules vibe. Comparing Lindsay Lohan to Lisa Vanderpump is one of the more generous compliments she’s gotten in some time

CELEBITCHYIt seems Congresswoman Maxine Waters’ comments about “protest” and Trump administration officials has been taken ever-so-slightly out of context by those same officials. Here’s what she actually said

JEZEBELCoffee apparently makes you heart attack-proof and reverse-ages your blood vessels. Who says so? Scientists, that’s who. Drink more coffee

DLISTEDCountess Luann was apparently a total petty diva during her appearance at the San Francisco Pride Parade, spending her time “barking orders” and “yelling” at people and “micromanaging a banner announcing her presence”

REALITY TEASouthern Charm fans are taking Austin Kroll behind the woodshed for his engagement ring balloon Instagram post in light of his failed relationship with Chelsea Meissner

VOXCongratulations to the residents of Oklahoma, who yesterday voted to make their state the 30th in the country to legalize medical marijuana. One especially interesting detail about Oklahoma’s law: It “doesn’t tie medical marijuana to any specific qualifying conditions, which will likely make it easier, compared to other states, to obtain pot for medicinal uses”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPBachelor in Paradise is about to return for its fifth season; here’s a complete roundup of the cast members, plus a photo gallery and a couple of sneak peeks

LINKS! Melania’s jacket doesn’t care, Roseanne booted from Roseanne reboot, MTV ‘reinvents’ Daria…

Melania's jacket doesn't care 1

VOXYesterday, Melania Trump made a quick trip to the US-Mexico border to visit a detention center (and wish the families held there “Good luck”). And she wore a jacket emblazoned with the phrase “I really don’t care, do u?” do to it, which has sparked just the teensiest bit of backlash

THE BLASTRoseanne is now officially coming back this fall via a Darlene-centered, Roseanne-free spinoff. We don’t yet know how much money ABC paid Roseanne to go away…but we do know that she allowed herself to be photographed giving a thumbs-up while out at dinner shortly after the network made the announcement

DLISTEDIf you’re of the belief that 2018 could use a hearty dose of Daria Morgendorffer’s sardonic wit and apathetic shrugs, you’re in luck, because MTV is rebooting the show. (Though they’re calling it a “reinvention,” whatever that’s supposed to mean)

VERY SMART BROTHASIf you haven’t yet read about Antwon Rose, the 17-year-old Pittsburgher who was shot and killed earlier this week while running, unarmed, from police, here’s everything you should know along with why you should know it

CELEBITCHYIt turns out the executive order Trump signed to reverse his administration’s policy of separating children from families trying to cross the US-Mexico border doesn’t actually end the policy and puts in place no guidelines for reuniting the children and families who’ve already been separated

THE BLEMISHTrump advisor Stephen Miller, who came up with the family separation policy in the first place, had his phone number published by a muckraking outlet a couple of days ago. One unforeseen upside for Miller: He got all that human contact he’d been missing for who knows how long

LAINEY GOSSIPIn the aftermath of Solo‘s relatively disappointing box office take (it’s at just under $200 million after four weeks, which is a ton for a “normal” movie but sad for a Star Wars movie), Disney is actually “hitting pause” on all the Star Wars spinoff / expansion films. What’s more surprising than Disney managing to f*ck up the once-invulnerable Star Wars magic is the company actually admitting that they did, indeed, f*ck it all up

PAJIBAIf you’re one of the many viewers who tore through Queer Eye‘s entire second season last weekend and are starving for more, you’re in luck: There’s a new mini-episode set in the real town of (wait for it) Yass, Australia

REALITY TEAA very tentative congratulations for Below Deck Mediterranean, which is “in the running” for an Emmy nomination. Of course, the members of the TV Academy have yet to actually determine who the nominees will be — but still, a long-list nod is a long-list nod

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPJenna Morasca, best known for winning Survivor: The Amazon back in 2003, has returned to social media following her DUI and alleged overdose earlier this year. According to Jenna, she’s “back and better than ever”

JEZEBEL – Koko the gorilla, whose proficiency with sign language and painting helped inspire Michael Crichton’s novel Congo (and its hilariously campy movie adaptation), has died at the age of 46. Rest in peace, you beautiful creature

LINKS! Shahs of Sunset Season 7 cast departures, Pioneer Woman boutique hotel, Phony XXXTentacion grievers…

Shahs of Sunset Season 7 cast departures

REALITY TEAShahs of Sunset Season 7 drops on August 2nd — but two main cast members are now former cast members

JEZEBELThe Pioneer Woman has gone the Chip & Joanna route and opened up her own boutique hotel. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really look like what you probably expect a Pioneer Woman hotel to look like

VERY SMART BROTHAS“Stop Pretending You Actually Gave a Sh!t About XXXTentacion’s ‘Growth’ and Potential”

DLISTEDGigi Hadid would like you to know that she worked extra hard to get where she is because she knows she comes from privilege

CELEBITCHYUm

THE BLEMISH“Chrissy Teigen Had Her Vagina Steam-Cleaned Like It’s An Old Carpet”

PAJIBAEven Mike Godwin — who famously observed that the longer an online debate continues, the more likely it is that someone will make a comparison to Hitler — is OK with comparing the Trump administration to Nazis

LAINEY GOSSIPAnother week, another divorce denial from David and Victoria Beckham’s reps