MUG SHOT Massachusetts Parking Lot Pooper arrested, ending two-month fecal frenzy

A Massachusetts woman dubbed the Parking Lot Pooper for doing exactly that has been caught and arrested. 51-year-old Andrea Grocer, of Ashland MA, was caught mid-bowel movement outside her preferred venue: the parking lot of the Natick Outdoor Store. Read on for the full mug shot, plus some delightful straight-faced quotes from the local police.

LINKS Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt again, Thomas Markle lol, Bachelor contestant dies…

LAINEY GOSSIPWe’re back on Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt again, thanks to Brad’s unexpected new comments about he and Jen’s SAG Awards encounter. Brad went and extended this surprise narrative by claiming, among other things, that he was “blissfully naïve” about being filmed watch her accept her award and photographing the two of them greeting each other when she came offstage

CELEBITCHYSpeaking of naïve, Thomas Markle is profoundly so in the very best case. In his latest interview, he said that both the royal family and Meghan and Harry “owe him” because he’s in his “senior years now” and “it’s time to look after Daddy.” Don’t try to make sense of it; you’ll get a headache

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPRIP: A week after his hospitalization due to a suspected overdose, former Bachelor contestant Tyler Gwozdz has passed away

DLISTEDEvidently a bunch of people thought that James Corden was really driving the car during Carpool Karaoke, but someone saw him filming with Justin Bieber on the street in an immobile car and now the jig is up. I’m less impressed by the level of mock outrage people feel over this and genuinely impressed that it took this long for someone to figure out the car was never moving

VOX“Republicans complain about the impeachment trial’s lack of new evidence while blocking new evidence”

JEZEBELMore people should take this advice, myself included

GO FUG YOURSELFThe red carpet at a Cirque du Soleil premiere is my new favorite fashion genre. Honestly it may be the only red carpet fashion I ever pay attention to again. This is like if a B-list celebrity owned the Red Lobster at the nearby mall and invited a bunch of her friends for a grand opening. Debbie Gibson absolutely nails it btw

THE BLEMISHA Massachusetts woman has been arrested and charged with eight counts of destruction of property after pooping outside a sporting goods store on eight separate occasions. Bonus: there’s a mug shot

REALITY TEALisa Rinna’s husband Harry Hamlin appears to believe that playing a gay character in a movie in 1982 ruined his would-be movie career (though Hamlin also said he doesn’t regret taking the part)

THE BLASTSure you didn’t, Wendy — sure you didn’t

Exclusive: LB Bonner’s family files multimillion dollar My 600 Lb Life lawsuit against show’s producers over his suicide

The family of My 600 Lb Life fan favorite LB Bonner, who committed suicide in 2018 during a battle against depression, is suing the show’s production company for what they say is the producers’ role in LB’s death. The My 600 Lb Life lawsuit alleges “gross negligence” on the part of Megalomedia, claiming the company backed out of several promises to LB, pressured him into filming when he was unprepared, and failed to provide him with mental health care after he began exhibiting worrisome signs.