LINKS Andy Cohen coronavirus update, Prince Charles in danger, Love Is Blind new season…

REALITY TEAAndy Cohen hasn’t shared anything on social media since revealing his coronavirus diagnosis almost a week ago. So RHONY star Ramona Singer gave us the first Andy Cohen coronavirus update, as she says she’s been in close contact with Cohen via text the whole time; according to Ramona, Andy is “hanging in there” and doing much better than some of her other infected friends

CELEBITCHYPrince Charles, who announced his own coronaviral infection earlier this week, for some reason kept up a heavy traveling schedule, including going from London to Scotland to self-isolate. Charles is 71 years old and could have sheltered in one of Buckingham Palace’s 775 (literally) rooms instead of exposing however many more people to his germs before locking the door

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPNetflix should have known Love is Blind would be exactly the kind of trash TV people needed in 2020, global pandemic or no, because then they could have new seasons ready to go right now. Instead, fans of the show will have to be satisfied with the news that Netflix renewed LiB for two more seasons

VOXThis is likely to be very helpful, if also potentially quite depressing and discouraging: “Charting the coronavirus pandemic state by state: In cases, deaths, and tests per capita, here’s how each US state’s coronavirus situation compares”

GO FUG YOURSELFFug Madness 2020 is down to its Sweet Sixteen, and the best place for you to begin your voting is with whatever in the world Orange is the New Black and Russian Doll star Dasha Polanco is wearing, thinking, doing here

LAINEY GOSSIP“Cardi B’s rant about the inequality in the way coronavirus is currently being treated, and the dangers of celebrities creating a false sense of calm, is absolutely perfect,” and not just because it touches on the weird thing that happens when major celebrities talk about “celebrities” as if it’s a group they themselves don’t belong to

JEZEBELAnother Netflix shout-out: “Thank God for Tiger King

DLISTEDDemi Lovato’s quarantine bae is 28-year-old soap opera star Max Ehrich, who has a neck tattoo, used to date Bella Thorne (tracks), and does indeed look the part of a thirst trap

THE BLEMISHLast weekend’s box office take was the lowest in the history of movie theaters, so remember that the name of the #1 movie in the country for that weekend was Phoenix, Oregon and you’ll be your team’s trivia night hero whenever people can congregate again

THE BLASTKourtney Kardashian is schooling her son Mason on how to be discreet on social media. I’m frankly surprised that the kid isn’t already a master of this very necessary skill (he’s ten), but then maybe his father already set him up with a burner IG account

David Bolton My 600 Lb Life lawsuit update: Megalomedia fires back with stern counterclaim

My 600 Lb Life star David Bolton, the second cast member to sue the show’s producers for gross negligence, has received a stern response from Megalomedia’s legal team. As Starcasm exclusively reported last month, Bolton seeks a fundamental change to My 600 Lb Life‘s production plus damages of one million dollars as compensation for what he says was the inhumane and irresponsible treatment during filming for his episode.

PHOTOS My 600 Lb Life Coliesa update: Near death in ICU, flatlined once after surgery complications (Exclusive)

It’s an unfortunate and dire My 600 Lb Life Coliesa update for the show’s newest cast member. Coliesa’s niece revealed the Season 8 star has been on life support for a full week after flatlining in her hospital bed. Furthermore, Coliesa had already been hospitalized for nearly a month due to complications from her weight loss surgery — read on for the details.

The Kardashians are suppressing a trashy novel about Kim’s sex tape

There is a conspiracy to rob us of crucial entertainment supplies in the midst of a worsening global pandemic, so of course the Kardashian family is behind it. It seems there’s an honest-to-God Kardashian novel out there, about the sex tape scandal that made Kim a household name, written by a former family insider. But the Kardashians — who have so much wealth they shouldn’t give a shit about this, yet maintain the typical pettiness of the truly filthy rich — are apparently blocking the author’s attempts to get it published and into our hands.

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS James King from My 600 Lb Life is now a proud grandparent

In one of the more surprising and heartwarming My 600 Lb Life updates we’ve written recently, we can both confirm the “Is James King still alive?” gossip and share some amazing news about the Season 5 star. Though the man keeps a low profile, Starcasm can exclusively reveal that James King is now the very happy grandfather to a beautiful and healthy baby boy! Keep reading for the details, plus photos of the baby and his mama, James’ daughter Bayley!

LINKS Celebrity coronavirus conspiracy, Economy vs Life, Britney redistributes…

THE BLASTIn yet another sign that this is the dumbest of all possible worlds, evidently there’s a growing belief that celebrities? are being paid? to say they have coronavirus? The celebrity coronavirus conspiracy is I guess supposed to prove that this is all just media hype, though the families of the 20,000 people who’ve died of the disease so far would probably beg to differ. Anyway Idris Elba called the conspiracy “absolute bullshit,” which would end this whole non-debate if he were already James Bond

CELEBITCHYAnd speaking of conspiracy theories, walking superliminal message Donald Trump now thinks this whole quarantine thing has gone on long enough, and America needs to “reopen” its economy before more fantastically wealthy people become just boring old regular wealthy. For those of you keeping track, it was two weeks — from March 9 to March 22 — that Trump took COVID-19 seriously. The last time my four-year-old wanted a big special toy, the kid had to help clean up the playroom every day for three weeks to get it. It took three weeks because there were some setbacks, but this child did it. So the next time you see someone compare Trump’s temperament to that of a little kid, correct them

JEZEBELIn more dire economic news, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick said he believes America’s grandparents — the people at highest risk for coronaviral infection — are 100% willing to die when we “reopen” the economy by sending people back into their petri dish workplaces, because their deaths will have saved the economy for the grandkids those now-dead grandparents will no longer be able to play with or hug or spoil rotten. Because they’ll be dead

DLISTEDBritney Spears shared a quote about love and community by the writer Mimi Zhu and because the quote contains the phrase “re-distribute wealth” now there’s just a ton of clickbait-y pieces out there detailing Britney’s newfound role as a comrade. But you know what, that’s actually fine right now, because…

VOX…the economic outlook for your favorite websites isn’t especially rosy right now, either. Generally speaking, traffic is up everywhere, because people have more time on their hands; but ad revenue is down and dropping because when companies have to contract suddenly and severely, advertising budgets are always among the first things to get slashed. This is all by way of saying that if you can find it in your heart to read a click on more pages than normal the next time you’re on the toilet, to share an extra article or two with an old friend who you know loves some trashy TV, to recommend a new site or two to a distant cousin via text or a goofy neighbor from a safe 6+ foot distance, it would mean a lot to the people who write for those sites

REALITY TEAIn more upbeat gossip: both Vanderpump Rules stars Brandi Glanville and Scheana Marie have now both confirmed that they slept with an unnamed actor from The Notebook. All we can say for sure is that Scheana appeared to shoot down the possibility that it was James Marsden. Let the speculation commence

THE BLEMISHIt’s been four years since the peak of the Taylor Swift-Kanye West feud, but these are even stranger, more dire times, so some anonymous benefactor revealed the (almost) full phone call between the two while Kanye was working on his now-infamous track “Reputation.” Depending on whose side of the feud you’re on, you can kinda convince yourself that the new audio proves either Kanye or Taylor was in the right all along

LAINEY GOSSIPNot that that’s stopping Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian from going back at it. This is my favorite headline of the day so far: “Taylor vs Kim: A Social Distancing Petty-Off”

GO FUG YOURSELFIn further Kim Kardashian news, the 2020 Fug Madness top seed has been dominating the early rounds, but she’s now up against some of the truly questionable fashion decisions that Winnie Harlow made last year

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Finally, some financial pettiness in the high-gloss world of televised home renovation: “Former Flipping Out Star Jeff Lewis is Being Sued By Ex Gage Edward for Allegedly Failing to Repay $125,000 Loan”

PHOTOS My 600 Lb Life’s Lindsey Witte offers update on husband Paul, confirms follow-up episode

We’ve got a encouraging update on Lindsey Witte’s husband, Paul, and the status of the new My 600 Lb Life star’s marriage. The tea comes from Lindsey herself, along with several new weight loss photos — and Lindsey’s own confirmation that she’s been filming a follow-up episode, tentatively scheduled to air next year!