Category: News

LINKS! Mueller Report released, Game of Thrones clues, Kodak Black mug shot…

VOXWith the Mueller Report released and everybody reading like a high school class the night before a final, here’s a primer on some of the major players and instances and other stuff you may have forgotten about over the past couple of years (along with the actual Report itself)

LAINEY GOSSIPRead carefully the tea leaves that are this week’s crop of Game of Thrones still frames from the next episode. The one of Samwell and Jon is rightfully getting the most attention, but my favorite is the image of Grey Worm and Missandei where you can clearly see the bend in Grey Worm’s prop blade

THE BLASTKodak Black was arrested on drug and weapons charges last night while traveling back into the US from Canada. He’s still in jail as of this writing, and his mug shot is public

THE BLEMISHIt will probably not surprise you to learn that Coachella is a hotbed of public sex. Here are some stories about that! Bonus: An extremely NSFW video of a fellow receiving some enthusiastic oral sex on this year’s Coachella Ferris wheel

JEZEBELIf you’re in dire need of an escape to someplace quiet, you might consider the tiny Italian village of Paroldo, population 230, where benevolent witches apparently roam the “maze of medieval alleys” and cure people of ailments that leave doctors baffled. Could also be a horror movie; sounds like it’s worth the risk

CELEBITCHYIn other Game of Thrones news, Jason “Khal Drogo” Momoa has followed in co-star Kit Harington’s footsteps and shaved his (facial) hair. But Momoa hasn’t been on the show in years, so this decision seems somehow more and less logical than Jon Snow’s

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPJersey Shore Stars Vinny Guadagnino & DJ Pauly D Reveal Which Teen Mom Girls They’d Date– And Why They’d Avoid Jenelle Evans”

DLISTEDDisney’s $5 million contribution to the Notre Dame rebuilding fund also comes with a blank check for your best Euro Disney jokes, so make them count

REALITY TEAWhy did Gregg Leakes call Cynthia Baliey “a sister” at this year’s RHOA reunion? Here’s his explanation

LINKS! Game of Thrones is back, Notre Dame cathedral saved, Jeff Bezos divorce details…

CELEBITCHYGame of Thrones is back (just a little bit!) and now that the season premiere has aired, The Takes have arrived. What better place to start than with cast member John Bradley — better known as Samwell Tarly — who thinks Daenerys was “psychopathic” in the premiere and will only get worse

THE BLEMISHJohn Legend is so into Game of Thrones he kicked Chrissy Teigen out of their house for talking too much during the new episode

JEZEBELKit Harington is so into Game of Thrones that he has just two short words for the show’s critics. They rhyme with “Puck stew”

VOXThe lowkey winner of the GoT Season 8 premiere was Bran Stark, who turned in a hell of a performance just sitting there being ominous and creepy. As is so often the case, the internet’s collective response to Creepy Bran says more about the people watching than about the character himself

DLISTEDDespite an enormous, worse-than-originally-reported fire and the complete loss of the wooden frame, the Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral has been saved. Its twin stone towers were spared entirely, and over half a billion euros in private donations have already been pledged for the cathedral’s reconstruction

THE BLASTJeff and MacKenzie Bezos are finally, officially divorced, for good. Here’s everything we know about the details of their split (including MacKenzie’s estimated net worth)

REALITY TEA“Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“Johnny Bananas & Wes Bergmann Take Maury Povich’s Lie Detector To Settle Feud”

LAINEY GOSSIPIf you thought that of all the Girls cast members Allison Williams would have the most varied & interesting acting career, congrats — your one-in-three shot paid off. (Lena Dunham was always going to be excluded from consideration)

LINKS! Game of Thrones mania, Wendy Williams’ divorce, Trump tax evasion tea…

CELEBITCHYIt would be amazing if Kit Harington’s description of his last day on the set of Game of Thrones — which, in Harington’s own words, sounds like a “wet fart” — really did turn out to be his last scene in the show. Sometimes, the best secrecy is a mindf*ck of paranoia (plus drone hunters)

LAINEY GOSSIPI’m not exactly sure how one calculates the odds of “winning” Game of Thrones, since the show has made it pretty damn clear there isn’t going to be an Iron Throne left to sit on at the end. Nonetheless, here’s an explainer involving House Stark’s odds, which are…decent, assuming you’re comfortable ruling over a vast pile of icy death rubble

THE BLASTIt seems that what caused Wendy Williams’ recent relapse and led to her stay in a sober living facility was Williams’ soon-to-be-ex husband Kevin Hunter confessing to “certain transgressions” — news that Williams, understandably, did not take well

VOXThe president’s sister was a federal judge until a couple of months ago, when she resigned abruptly in order to end an investigation into her possible role in a Trump tax evasion scheme

REALITY TEAApparently Lori Loughlin had either gotten reality TV offers or was in talks for her own reality TV show before the college admissions scandal broke. And if you don’t think she’ll have a deal in place by the time her legal battle and likely prison sentence are over, you need to watch more reality TV yourself

JEZEBELAmber Heard’s court filing in response to Johnny Depp’s $50 million defamation lawsuit against her claims that Depp threatened to kill Heard on multiple occasions

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPThe surprise isn’t that Kendra Duggar is pregnant again; it’s that she found one of the weirdest & most borderline disgusting ways possible to break the news to her husband Joe

DLISTEDYou know who else only eats once per day? People who can’t afford to

THE BLEMISHEvidently the only thing standing between yourself and a guest spot on a real, live Soulja Boy track is ten thousand real, live dollars

LINKS! New Lion King trailer, Mueller report release update, Hailey Baldwin’s blood…

THE BLASTThe new Lion King trailer is here, and it’s mostly what people expected? It definitely delivers the hype, but at 1:42 it’s the longest 30-second teaser trailer I think I’ve ever seen

VOXThe Mueller report is going to be released in some form at some point in the next week or so. As soon as that happens, everyone with access to a microphone will start spinning it. Here’s how to actually read and analyze it yourself

CELEBITCHYHailey Baldwin’s moisturizer has her own blood in it, making her against all odds the KISS of fashion models. And the moisturizer itself is definitely working for her, so, well done, carry on

THE BLEMISHCome for the update on R. Kelly’s latest shameless attention grab; stay for the quality piss joke

DLISTEDThe entertainment media is finally starting to ask Elizabeth Moss how she squares her Scientology membership with her starring role in The Handmaid’s Tale. We haven’t seen Moss squirm this much since the first few episodes of Mad Men

LAINEY GOSSIPBoth Felicity Huffman and Lori Laughlin’s plea deals included recommendations of jail time, but don’t be surprised if neither one of them ever sets foot in prison. And it’s all thanks to the same system that allowed them to purchase illegal college admissions access in the first place

JEZEBELThe story of Jack the Ripper has always been fascinating just as a piece of true crime; thanks to the swirl of cultural and political forces that make 2019 so difficult to bear, it’s also never been a more relevant study. So here’s a book — The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper — that does just that! Tuck it in your summer beach tote

REALITY TEAScheana Marie, a seasoned reality TV cast member, thinks that Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club is a boring show and also not as good a show as Vanderpump Rules. What is good: intra-network cast feuds, so get ready for this one to escalate

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPI was never Team Tarek when he and Christina El Moussa had their gigantic fallout and awkward makeup, but I have to admit that this is a pretty good way to shade your ex. Dickish, for sure, but good nonetheless

LINKS! Felicity Huffman’s guilty plea, Allison Mack sex trafficking, Kit Harington clean-shaven…

THE BLEMISHFelicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin both pleaded guilty in the college admissions scandal yesterday. Felicity Huffman’s guilty plea means she’ll almost certainly see a least a little prison time (though she faces up to 20 years, prosecutors are only going to recommend twelve months, plus a fine)

DLISTEDIn other guilty plea news, yesterday Allison Mack pleaded guilty to “racketeering and racketeering conspiracy charges” in the ongoing NXIVM sex cult trial. Not to equivocate, because both things are straight-up awful, but the allegations against Mack’s sex cult almost make the R. Kelly story look like a day at the beach with friends

JEZEBELAnd in other news of the criminal, the real crime here isn’t Game of Thrones star Kit Harington’s clean-shaven face — it’s the hideous, Miami Vice-unworthy peach-suit-with-black-turtleneck combo he wore to host Saturday Night Live

CELEBITCHYThis story about Beyonce walking out of a meeting with Reebok because all the company’s execs were white is maybe the perfect example of Beyonce: poise and unflappability mixed with a resolve so pure it may as well be urban legend

VOXIt’s not your imagination: pollen season really is getting longer and more severe every year. If you know and regularly roll your eyes at any climate change deniers, here’s a nice bit of irrefutable evidence to help bolster your case

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“The Southern Charm Custody Battle Continues! Thomas Ravenel Asks Judge to Demand His Ex Kathryn Dennis Turn Over Her Medical Records”

THE BLASTThe Staples Center in LA is giving away several thousand tickets for the Nipsey Hussle memorial service on Thursday, so, if you’re going to be in the area and want to attend, here’s how you can get hold of some

REALITY TEAJax Taylor actually sounds sweet here, even while employing the time-tested euphemism “try and concieve on our wedding night” instead of using a more bro-tastic phrase

LAINEY GOSSIPThe Avengers: Endgame press tour is in full swing, so enjoy this photo gallery of the living 50% of them, along with a delightful skirmish inspired by Paul Rudd’s now-infamous 50th birthday

LINKS! Brienne of Tarth in a dress, Influencers ruining everything, Jordyn Woods gets rich…

DLISTEDBasically the entire Game of Thrones cast, past and present, got together in New York City for the Season 8 premiere. And the clear winner — for fashion, buzz, poise, everything — was Gwendoline Christie, whose appearance as Brienne of Tarth in a dress that looks made of fire and clouds could have come from the show itself with no changes

JEZEBELInstagram influencers, already one of the most grating groups of people on the planet, are ruining public lands in search of the best possible product placement shot. And at least a couple of increasingly popular, anonymous accounts are calling them out for it

THE BLASTIt turns out that *not* keeping up with the Kardashians can be lucrative, too: apparently Jordyn Woods is making serious bank on her overseas promo tour

CELEBITCHYFelicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin both appeared in federal court yesterday to face charges in the college admissions scandal. It seems neither woman will be able to take a simple plea deal and disappear from the public eye for awhile, though, as both their plea deals require at least some time in prison

LAINEY GOSSIPIt seems I need to spend more time reading about the Royal Family, because something called “Turnipgate” is a real live drama in Britain. (To be fair, it’s technically being called the “Turnip toffs,” as the “-gate” suffix is distinctly American)

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“MTV Announces The Hills: New Beginnings Premiere Date: Watch the First Nostalgia-Laced Trailer”

THE BLEMISHEvery new detail about the Cats movie musical has me further convinced that it will be the absolute train wreck the world needs right now

REALITY TEA“Dolores Catania Shocked Teresa Giudice Is Considering Split From Joe Giudice; Wonders If Sex Will Help Them Stay Together” (I’m guessing the answer is “No, but it will make them temporarily happier”)

VOXIf you’ve noticed your beer looking and tasting more like juice lately, you’ll be glad to know there’s a reason why

LINKS! Jeff Bezos’ dick continues, Tinder’s new regs, Luann gets Real…

JEZEBELThe bizarre story of Jeff Bezos’ dick, the dick pics he sent his mistress, and his mistress’ brother hacking her phone so he could try to blackmail Bezos just got another wrinkle. Apparently the Saudi Arabian government *also* hacked Bezos’ phone, possibly as a favor to David Pecker, a “staunch Trump supporter” and the owner of AMI, who publishes the National Enquirer, who paid Bezos’ mistress’ brother $200,000 for the dick pics in the first place. Okay, maybe that’s a couple more wrinkles

THE BLEMISHTinder isn’t really going to start verifying the height and dick size of all the men who use the app, and reading some of the outraged Twitter responses to their April Fool’s prank is a fun time

REALITY TEACelebrity bloggers as a rule can’t stand April Fool’s Day, so apologies for the seemingly baseless negativity here: Countess Luann claims she would very much like to join the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast. Again: Yesterday was April Fool’s Day, so who knows if this is for real or one more halfhearted celebrity prank

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“‘Vanderpump Cocktail Garden’ Opens in Las Vegas: See the Photos of the Vanderpump Rules Cast At the Grand Opening”

THE BLASTJustin Bieber spent April Fool’s Day trying to convince the world he’d gotten Hailey Baldwin pregnant. It’s Justin, though, so the execution was a little transparent

CELEBITCHYApparently Meghan Markle, Dutchess of Sussex and tabloid fodder on two sides of the Atlantic from here to eternity, spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $500,000 on maternity clothes, which seems…expected, for a super high-profile celebrity-slash-royal?

DLISTEDIn other wealth news, Elon Musk, garbage person, released a garbage SoundCloud rap in honor of three-years-dead gorilla Harambe for no obvious reason beyond being rich and bored

VOXHere’s the deal with the 100% meatless hamburger that Burger King started selling yesterday. (Quick spoiler: No, it wasn’t an April Fool’s joke; the release date was just good marketing on the company’s part)

LAINEY GOSSIPBroad City: A Guide on How to End a Show”

LINKS! RIP Nipsey Hussle, Kanye’s Coachella church, Kenya Moore returns…

JEZEBELRIP Nipsey Hussle: The Grammy-nominated rapper was shot and killed outside his Los Angeles clothing store yesterday afternoon. The murderer has yet to be apprehended. Nipsey was 33

THE BLEMISHKanye is bringing his pseudo-church to Coachella this year. I’m still not sure how it’s different from your standard Kanye performance, other than the fact that there are more celebrity appearances at church (which only proves that even Kanye needs help filling pews)

REALITY TEAKenya Moore returned to the Real Housewives of Atlanta cast for the Season 11 finale in an attempt at propping up a generally disappointing season

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPHere’s a first look at Bravo’s new show Texicanas, which follows the lives of six Mexican-American women in San Antonio. Unlike Bravo’s other reality shows, Texicanas will have just one narrator, a stripper-real estate agent named Penny

DLISTEDThe funniest thing about Chris Rock roasting Jussie Smollett at the NAACP Image Awards is the producers initially telling Rock not to make any jokes about Smollett

THE BLASTKate Bosworth is being sued for $1 million by a group of Native American filmmakers who claim Bosworth is holding their film hostage

CELEBITCHYThey were together for a year before having a Vegas wedding, but 55-year-old Nicholas Cage and his 35-year-old fourth wife Erika Koike lasted four days before getting their marriage annulled

LAINEY GOSSIPI didn’t even know there was a Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark movie coming out, but apparently there is and at least one part of it will haunt your adult dreams the way the books stirred up childhood nightmares

VOXOn the 20th anniversary of its release, here’s an interesting new way to look at The Matrix, one that thankfully has nothing to do with red or blue pills

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