Last week, we brought you the instantly immortal tale of the Mad Pooper, a jogger in Colorado Springs who won’t stop crapping on one family’s front lawn despite the fact that the house is next to a public park and its public restrooms. At the time, the Buddle family had caught the lone jogger dropping deuces around once a week for the last seven weeks–and had even confronted the Mad Pooper mid-squeeze:
[My kids] are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a poop!’ So I come outside, and I’m like, ‘Are you serious? Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids? She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!’
Matriarch Cathy Buddle said she believed she was being targeted for some reason, and enlisted the Colorado Springs Police. They had to open a hotline to handle the flood of tips that came in, and Buddle also noted that the Mad Pooper appeared to change up her usual running times thanks to her story going viral.
But was the Mad Pooper caught? According to a follow-up from local ABC affiliate KRDO, a curious confession that’s since been deleted from YouTube may have yielded clues to the Mad Pooper’s true identity. The two video clips featured a man claiming to be a “spokesman” for the Mad Pooper, who he says is a woman named Shirley who “can no longer control” her bowel movements after suffering a traumatic brain injury and undergoing gender reassignment surgery.
Then, in a bizarre twist, the unidentified man argued that Shirley’s actions are fine, because they’re protected by the First Amendment–and are really just like breastfeeding in public. (We can think of at least one celebrity who’ll tell you that people aren’t as cool with public breastfeeding as you might think.)
In response, KRDO spoke with criminal defense attorney Jeremy Loew, who called BS on the spokesman’s claims. “Defecating in someone’s yard is definitely not protected under the First Amendment and it is actually a crime,” said Loew, who further opined that the Mad Pooper could face charges of indecent exposure, and even wind up as a registered sex offender.
(Photo credits: Was the Mad Pooper caught via KKTV)