CELEBITCHY – Simone Biles has been so thoroughly dominant a gymnast for so long that the Simone Biles withdraws news is the most shocking sports story of the year. The 24-year-old GOAT announced her withdrawal from the team event due to a “mental health issue” that left her “freaking out” during the final. No word on whether Simone will withdraw from the rest of the Olympics; hopefully, she and the rest of the team can step back and take a breath
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Despite swearing off reality TV just last month, Tamar Braxton is coming back for some of those sweet docuseries dollars. This time, the 44-year-old will star VH1’s reboot of The Surreal Life, debuting this autumn. Tamar’s co-stars include Dennis Rodman, Stormy Daniels, and Frankie “Malcolm in the Middle” Muniz
REALITY TEA – It seems Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Dorit Hemsley and her husband PK owe the IRS a combined $1.3 million in unpaid taxes. The “unpaid” part allegedly goes back as far as 2015. I thought it these two had worked out some kind of a deal with the IRS a year or two ago?
VOX – Today, in Earth-saving Olympic news: “Our bodies can adapt to hotter conditions — but there’s a limit: Here’s what Olympic athletes can teach us about coping with heat waves”
JEZEBEL – It’s been a foregone conclusion for months now, but Britney Spears has finally made her conservatorship requests official. On Monday, Spears’ lawyer filed a formal request for the removal of Jamie Spears from Britney’s conservatorship
DLISTED – Pink has offered to pay the fines of the Norwegian womens handball team. The team was docked $1,700 for a violation of European Handball Federation (EHF) rules by refusing to play in bikini bottoms. Not really clear why the men are allowed to play in shorts and the women aren’t; hopefully the Norwegian men will play their next match in Speedos to show solidarity
THE BLAST – Breaking: Scott Disick dates younger women
LAINEY GOSSIP – “Bennifer gave gossip exactly the kind of glow we needed this weekend with JLo’s birthday in St Tropez where they ostensibly recreated the “Jenny From The Block” video and loved themselves up on a yacht. By now, I’m sure, everyone has seen those photos…and now here are some new ones…”
GO FUG YOURSELF – I completely missed the Olympics’ Opening Ceremony this year, mostly because of the Ted Lasso premiere, but also because of the extreme time difference. If you’re like me, GFY’s “Better Late Than Never” Opening Ceremony photo gallery is a welcome way to play catch-up
THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP – “Shanna Moakler’s Revenge: I’m Gonna Pawn All the Crap Travis Barker Bought Me!”
(Photo credit: Instagram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail or Twitter.