THE BLAST – The latest DMX update following his overdose is unfortunately more of the same. DMX is still showing “limited brain activity” and doctors are apparently giving him a 50-50 chance of pulling through
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Tori Spelling faked a pregnancy on April Fool’s day and is now suffering the clapback from angered fans. Tori says she did it to get back at the tabloids for all the body-shaming she’s endured over the years; this seems like not the best way to go about achieving that goal
GO FUG YOURSELF – The 2021 SAG Awards were last night. They still weren’t a real awards show, because there still is a real pandemic. So, in lieu of a proper red carpet, enjoy this gallery of current nominees’ past fashions
REALITY TEA – Vanderpump Rules star Billie Lee says her co-star Jax Taylor is “usually on drugs” during filming. No offense at all to Jax or to any #PumpRules fans, but didn’t we kind of assume that already?
CELEBITCHY – Speaking of which: when it comes to Duchess Kate, the British tabloids are high on some real, real good shit
VOX – Although a subcontractor in charge of the factory ruined fifteen million Johnson & Johnson COVID vaccines, the company says it’s still going to be able to make its promised delivery targets
JEZEBEL – Clean your bird feeders
THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP – RIP to Linda Torres, best known to reality stars as a good friend to and occasional co-star alongside former Mob Wives star Big Ang. Last week, Linda died at age 67, after battling COVID-19 for just over two months
LAINEY GOSSIP – Natalie Portman can definitely rock a pair of jean shorts. Which reminds me: summer’s coming
DLISTED – Evidently cravy wasn’t just a decent April Fool’s joke? For some reason, Heinz and Ocean Spray are marketing cravy — which is a combination of cranberry sauce and *shudders* gravy — as a real thing which you will really be able to buy soon. Hopefully you’ll really just walk past it in the grocery store, instead
(Photo credit: Instagram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail or Twitter.
