THE BLAST – It seems Queen Rihanna might be expecting her first child? Rumors are swirling that the Barbadian monarch might be expecting with boyfriend A$AP Rocky. I don’t know if this means Rihanna won her long-simmering feud with Kendall Jenner or not
LAINEY GOSSIP – Oh — and I’m calling her “Queen Rihanna” because Barbados has officially divorced itself from the British monarchy. And they named Rihanna a “National Hero” at the same ceremony, so she now has an official title: “The Right Honourable Robyn Rihanna Fenty.” But I think it works better if we just shorten that to “Queen”
THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP – Apparently Anna Duggar believes her still-husband Josh was “framed by the Biden administration” for those pesky child pornography charges. So the answer to this article’s headline would appear to be…probably?
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Speaking of Josh’s now-underway trial on the aforementioned charges, Jim Bob himself recently took the stand. He mostly hemmed and hawed, and also tried to “challenge the judge multiple times” (none of which worked). Derek Dillard must be kicking himself he didn’t start law school sooner so he could cross-examine Jim Bob for this one
DLISTED – Dr. Oz is running for retiring Senator Pat Toomey’s seat in Pennsylvania next year. My original intention was to put a joke here, but then I remembered the last time a reality TV huckster with questionable credentials ran for high office in this country. Fortunately, Pennsylvania has a way of dealing with people like that
CELEBITCHY – I get what Seth Rogen is saying here, but it kind of sounds like he wants people to break into his car?
PAJIBA – The GBBO finale was a huge surprise to me. (And I won’t spoil it just in case you still haven’t seen it.) I just expected one of the ***** *** people to win, because this season has been the most standard reality TV of the entire Bake Off run, and ***** *** people will dominate reality TV forever. The spatula bit was dumb as hell though
REALITY TEA – “Gizelle Bryant And Robyn Dixon Say Robyn Almost Didn’t Get On Real Housewives Of Potomac Because She Made An Awful First Impression On Casting Director”
GO FUG YOURSELF – Here’s every single outfit Lady Gaga wore while doing press for House of Gucci. I would have guessed there were more than ten? but GFY’s headlines don’t lie, so ten looks it is. That Lanvin coat is a beautiful, dangerous dream from which I do not want to wake up
VOX – Jack Dorsey is leaving Twitter so he can spend more time writing the new Baroness album (Also, I thought of this joke before these guys wrote it but they’re the ones who wrote it, so credit where it’s due)
JEZEBEL – Finally, since it’s now December, enjoy the first of many gift guides. Today’s selection: “Gifts for the Home Cook Who Isn’t Doing It For the ‘Gram”
(Photo credit: Twitter)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail or Twitter.
