Daily Starbuzz

Amber Heard pooped the bed

LINKS! Amber Heard pooped the bed?, Priyanka Chopra’s engagement ring, Dr. Pimple Popper renewed…

THE BLEMISHApparently the poo that broke the puppy’s back in Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s marriage was the time that he was two hours late to her birthday party and she was so mad at him that she took a sh!t in their bed, which she blamed on their six-pound dog and which the housekeeper who found the pile of sh!t said was way too big to be from a dog that small. The housekeeper is the victim in this story

LAINEY GOSSIPHere’s what Priyanka Chopra’s engagement ring looks like, via Priyanka herself. It’s apparently worth around $200,000, yet somehow manages to be much more visually impressive and bling-tastic than Hailey Baldwin’s ring, which cost $500,000 and underwhelmed

DLISTEDTo the surprise of probably no one, Dr. Pimple Popper, which has been a ratings smash for TLC since its debut, got renewed for a second season before the first season finale even aired

REALITY TVIt sounds like Monique Samuels might be the only The Real Housewives of Potomac fan who was disappointed with the season just ended & the reunion special specifically. Monique claims she wanted “closure” with three of her fellow cast members — but where’s the fun in that, when there’s always a new season to film?

CELEBITCHYNot really sure why Lena Dunham decided to share a list of baby names she and her ex Jack Antonoff came up with back in 2015, but since they a) are broken up, b) never had a baby anyway, and c) thought gems like “Shogo,” “Rah,” and “Carrot” should be affixed to a living person, maybe things turned out for the best?

JEZEBELHere’s the story of a woman who accidentally left a contact lens in her left eye for 28 years. (The moral of the story is don’t ply badminton.)

VOXThe term “millennial” is overused and dead; it’s past time we find a new one

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPLo Bosworth, of Laguna Beach fame, thinks that reality TV shows perpetuate anti-feminist stereotypes and “[perpetuate] a culture of drama” and has no interest in participating in one

THE BLASTThe celebrity hair surgeon who Nicki Minaj told the world that both Safaree and Tyga went to is now seeing a booming business thanks to her tirade and Tyga giving him a shout-out. The strangest part of this story: Tyga still has five million-plus social media followers

PAJIBAThe newest trailer for Widows, the forthcoming Viola Davis heist movie, is here. This movie still looks like Crazy Rich Asians for women in high-stakes crime dramas and both trailers have been the f*cking bomb diggity. It doesn’t come out for three months, so get a sitter now

LINKS! Thomas Ravenel quit Southern Charm, Aretha Franklin in hospice, Safaree vs. Nicki again…

Thomas Ravenel quit Southern Charm

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPThe show’s most controversial cast member has decided he’s done: Thomas Ravenel quit Southern Charm via Twitter last night, saying he’s “got too much to lose” as the police investigation into his sexual assault allegations continues

THE BLEMISHAretha Franklin, who reportedly has cancer, is said to be receiving hospice care in Detroit. Jesse Jackson and Stevie Wonder have both visited her bedside to pay their respects, and Beyonce and Jay-Z devoted the Detroit show of their OTR II tour earlier this week to her. I only know her from Blues Brothers really, though that’s more than enough to understand how amazing she is

DLISTEDYesterday Nicki Minaj gave an interview on Hot 97 in which she claimed Safaree stole money from her and tried to stunt her career, so Safaree went on Twitter to deny everything and also claim that one night Nicki cut him so bad he almost bled out. Nicki countered by saying Safaree’s hairline is fake and Tyga’s is too and the two men went to the same doctor. It’s…messy

CELEBITCHY“The Dumbest Timeline: Donald Trump obsessively tweets about ‘dog’ Omarosa”

PAJIBAYou keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means

REALITY TVDenise Richards decided to join RHOBH’s next season because she’s “just in a really good place right now…and thought it would be fun.” Also she’s friends with Lisa Rinna, who brought her onboard, so now we know who to blame if the whole thing is a disaster

LAINEY GOSSIPJustin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are apparently getting married early next year, though it also sounds like they’re so eager for the ceremony that they could just throw caution to the wind (again) and tie the knot before 2018 has come to a close

JEZEBELLaura Dern is “reportedly in talks” to join Greta Gerwig’s already star-studded Little Women adaptation, and since Meryl Streep is all set to play Aunt March it sounds like Dern would be cast as Marmee. Susan Sarandon seen nearby, trying to look nonchalant

VOX“Crazy Rich Asians is a dazzling, sumptuous success: The movie triumphantly breathes new life into the Hollywood rom-com.”

THE BLASTYG got kicked off his American Airlines flight for (allegedly) being drunk, though he claims he was sober and the airline is racist. There’s video of the aftermath

LINKS! Denise Richards is a Real Housewife, Crazy Rich Asians premiere gallery, Twitter did it wrong…

Denise Richards is a Real Housewife

REALITY TVOne of the worst-kept secrets in reality TV is now official: Denise Richards is a Real Housewife; she’s joining the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for Season 9 next year

LAINEY GOSSIPConstance Wu looked glamorous and classic Hollywood AF at the Crazy Rich Asians premiere, which really does seem to be “the Dwayne The Rock Johnson of movies” and is poised for a huge debut next weekend

CELEBITCHYAlso, here’s the entire rest of the cast of Crazy Rich Asians, all of whom looked amazing at the movie’s Hollywood premiere last night (something you’d kind of expect, given the movie’s title, but still)

VOXThis is an extremely thorough and helpful explainer on why Twitter’s refusal to ban Alex Jones and Infowars is a genuine (and genuinely troubling) moral failing (which is nothing new for Twitter)

THE BLASTHere’s a palate cleanser for you: “Diff’rent Strokes Star Todd Bridges Fears Porn Star Ex-Girlfriend Will Try and Poison His Dog”

DLISTEDThe Oscars’ latest attempt at getting people to watch their always-cumbersome ceremony is to axe a few of the less notable categories, keep the length at a firm three hours, and add a category in celebration of “outstanding achievement in popular film”

JEZEBELLove Island, a British show that “throws strangers together to compete for a cash prize, which they win by coupling up with a castmate,” is getting an American variant on CBS sometime next year. After seeing what we did to The Great British Bake Off, I am not optimistic

PAJIBAHere’s a brief look at the history of the Slender Man meme / hoax / phenomenon / atrocity. I’m honestly not sure how to refer to it at this point — and I also didn’t know that there’s a Slender Man movie coming out tomorrow, so this is timely information indeed

THE BLEMISHAnd if Slender Man is too strong a flavor, enjoy this video clip of a model wearing only body paint (and only in the front) strolling around Camden Yards before a Baltimore Orioles game

LINKS! Ruby Rose as Catwoman, Kendall Jenner modeling topless, Kathleen Turner’s blind item…

Ruby Rose as Catwoman

JEZEBELRuby Rose is going to play a lesbian Batwoman in a show for the CW next year — I’m conflicted about this because while a lesbian Catwoman makes perfect sense, Ruby Rose has always seemed more like a personality than an actress? I also hope Ruby doesn’t have to cover her tattoos (which kind of contradicts what I just said but 2018 has bigger problems than that)

THE BLEMISHAnd here’s Kendall Jenner modeling topless for another magazine

VOXKathleen Turner’s fire-breathing Vulture interview contains one of the juiciest blind items in some time: Her 20-year disdain for a “Very famous Hollywood actress” who Turner says has been playing the same role for the last 20 years. Enjoy this primer on who the actress might be

CELEBITCHYDonald Trump might need someone to explain to him forest fires and the fighting of forest fires, among other things

PAJIBA Speaking of which, here is yet another reminder that David Tennant was the best Doctor

THE BLASTThis is just some nice pictures of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson strolling about gently while on vacation in Italy and having a nice time

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPThe Duggar family found a new way to monetize the women in their family who are too young to marry off: they’re having the girls record an album of (decidedly non-secular) songs. The official family statement showered the girls with the most damning possible praise: Their “personalities are like the four oldest girls on repeat.”

REALITY TVHere is an unusual reality TV ratings fact that surprised even reality TV-seasoned me: Below Deck Mediterranean draws more viewers than any Real Housewives franchise on the air currently

DLISTEDMel B and Stephen Belafonte’s divorce is finalized — she’s paying him $5,000 a month in child support and $15,000 a month in spousal support, and he’s avoiding the white-hot glare of Spice Girls fans whenever he steps out in public from now ’til death

LAINEY GOSSIPHas it only been two years since Angela Jolie and Brad Pitt announced their separation? Because it sure as sh!t feels a lot longer

Alex Jones banned 2

LINKS! Alex Jones banned, The Royals vs. Thomas Merkle, Angelina Jolie re-lawyers up…

VOXConspiracy theory peddler Alex Jones, seen above not trolling the parents of Sandy Hook shooting victims until literally red in the face, has at long last been booted from almost every major social media and streaming platform

CELEBITCHYMeghan “Dutchess of Sussex” Markle and the rest of the British royal family is spending the month of August at the Scottish estate of Balmoral, ostensibly to shoot game but really to develop “a more aggressive strategy to stem the embarrassment caused by Meghan’s dad”

THE BLEMISHAngelina Jolie’s lawyer in her divorce from Brad Pitt is apparently ready to quit over Angelina’s anger and unreasonable demands, and so Angelina is said to be “bringing in another law firm to help”

REALITY TVReal Housewives of Potomac Season 3 is over and we still have no idea if Karen Huger ever got the pizza or not (though, to hear Gizelle tell it, the answer is a hard no)

JEZEBELEvidently facesitting is the sex trend of the summer, only now it’s called “queening” because a bunch of British tabloids were having a slow day and decided to just go with that

LAINEY GOSSIPI know the video for “In My Feelings” has been out for a few days, but I didn’t get around to watching it until last night. It’s really good! Phylicia Rashad is hilarious in it! So is Shiggy! New Orleans is beautiful! I’m not really a fan of the song itself, but this is the rare video that makes its song palatable

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPKathryn Dennis is apparently in talks to become the next “Bachelorette,” in the latest sign that the sexual assault allegations against Thomas Ravenel are having a serious effect on the Southern Charm cast

THE BLASTI wonder how many of the kids on Dancing With The Stars: Juniors knew who Stevie Wonder was when he stopped by the studio to watch his 13-year-old son perform

PAJIBAMarc Maron got Jay Leno to talk about the Late Night wars for one of the only times ever on an episode of his WTF podcast. Leno basically says he got the Tonight Show job over Letterman because he was willing to kiss ass and Letterman wasn’t, which makes total sense and confirms everything we know about the two of them

DLISTEDIn the middle of a show, Britney Spears pulled a classic rock star move and forgot the name of the city where she was performing

LINKS! J-Lo’s joots, Blake Griffin’s huge child support, Paul Manafort’s palatial estate…

J-Lo's joots

CELEBITCHYJ-Lo’s joots are perfect for the person who wishes she could have two pairs of pants fall down simultaneously instead of just one

DLISTEDBlake Griffin got tagged in his child support trial to the tune of $258,000 per month. And that is a ton of money! But Blake Griffin makes about $35 million per year, plus is a two-timing douche quickly approaching the end of his NBA prime

JEZEBELApparently Paul Manafort owns a palatial Hamptons estate that’s just perfect for keeping all his ostrich-skin jackets in temperature-controlled glory

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – MTV is about to debut a show called The Royal World, which is exactly what it sounds like. Hard to imagine why allegedly super-wealthy young royals and aristocrats would stoop to conquer reality TV’s level, but the show is set to premiere in 180 countries, so MTV will likely print some money with this one

VOXIf you can stomach it, here’s the deal with QAnon

LAINEY GOSSIPJustin Timberlake is producing a game show for Fox and the hook seems to be that the show’s grand prize ($20 million) will be the biggest in TV history. Honestly, I’d rather see the prizes on every other game show undergo some serious inflation adjustment; the average Jeopardy! take-home is pretty good money for the contestants but absolutely piddling for the show’s corporate sponsors

REALITY TVAccording to Bethenny Frankel, her recently departed Real Housewives of New York castmate Carole Radziwill isn’t leaving the show of her own volition…but was fired

THE BLEMISHI can’t help thinking that Tristan Thompson punching his NBA All-Star rival Draymond Green in the face at a party is somehow Tristan’s way of seeking Khloe Kardashian’s approval

PAJIBAWhat was your favorite soundtrack growing up?

THE BLASTCharlie Sheen, who at his peak made about $40 million per season on Two And A Half Men, claims he is now worth less than $10 million and can no longer afford his $75,000 monthly child support payments

LINKS! Awesome Swedish heist, William and Kate party?, Chris Brown lawsuit trouble…

Awesome Swedish heist

JEZEBELIn Sweden, two criminals wandered into a medieval cathedral near Stockholm, stole 17th century crown jewels in broad daylight — and then made their getaway via speedboat. James Bond spotted nearby, taking notes

CELEBITCHYEvidently Prince William and Dutchess Kate recently spent a night out at celebrity getaway Mustique, where they partied with Mick Jagger. I probably wouldn’t turn down the chance to do the same, but everything in that first sentence just seems so…tired?

THE BLASTChris Brown apparently wants out of the lawsuit claiming he imprisoned a woman and allowed his friend to sexually assault her…by counter-claiming that he “had his hands full” with cocaine and MDMA and unrelated sexual acts in another room. I don’t think Chris Brown understands how counter-claims or lawsuits work

VOXMaking 3D-printed guns available to anyone with a 3D printer and a copy of the correct schematic does not seem like the best idea America has had in 2018

THE BLEMISHFlorida Man Alert: Robby Stratton walked into a convenience store with an alligator under his arm, chased someone around the store trying to get the gator to bite, and then told local news he had no idea where the gator came from in the first place, as it’d been sitting in the back of his truck when he pulled up. Like one does

REALITY TEAAccording to Below Deck Mediterranean star Hannah Ferrier, she and Captain Sandy Yawn have “hashed through [their] issues.” Also, João and Brooke and Kasey discuss their ongoing love triangle

LAINEY GOSSIPThe new trailer for Venom doesn’t look especially good…but the same is not true of Tom Hardy, the movie’s star, who looks as good as ever and should probably make his next movie a two-hour montage of him playing with various dogs

PAJIBAJust in case you didn’t already want to go see Crazy Rich Asians when it comes out in a couple of weeks, check out this story about why the filmmakers turned down a last-minute and legit crazy rich offer from Netflix to make it for them instead of Warner Brothers

DLISTEDAnd speaking of integrity, Nicole Kidman has signed on to play Gretchen Carlson in the upcoming movie about Fox’s treatment of sexual harassment allegations under former CEO Roger Ailes

LINKS! Justin Bieber’s N-bomb, Trump bombs vs. Putin, Comic-Con’s 2018 fail…

Justin Bieber's N-bomb 1

THE BLASTJustin Bieber would appreciate it if the court hearing his four-year-old egging lawsuit would not admit as evidence the fact that Bieber allegedly dropped the N-word in front of a crowd of people at the time

CELEBITCHYEven White House Chief of Staff John Kelly knew that Trump’s performance alongside Vladimir Putin was an unqualified disaster

LAINEY GOSSIP“At this point Comic-Con is a thing because we say it’s a thing, not because it’s actually driving a cultural moment,” and here’s an analysis of the weak 2018 calendar to prove it

THE BLEMISHIt looks like The Rock’s feud with Tyrese Gibson is unofficially over; the only thing that remains is for Tyrese to kiss Dwayne’s ass in public before filming begins on Furious 9

JEZEBELHere’s a cautionary con: Back in the late 90s, 32-year-old Riley Weston told everyone she was actually 19 and managed to get herself a job as a staff writer for Felicity, along with an acting gig on the show and a $500,000 development deal with Disney. When Weston’s true age was revealed, she was dumped like a cabinetful of expired anti-aging products despite the talent that got her hired in the first place

DLISTEDElle Macpherson’s new boyfriend is Andrew Wakefield, a 61-year-old British man and former doctor best-known for losing his medical license in 2010 & promoting anti-vaccine beliefs

REALITY TEAThe Ladies of London cast reacted with horror and grief upon learning of the death of fellow cast member Annabelle Neilson last week

VOXHere’s a fun new political theory that says a candidate’s position on “the issues” possibly doesn’t matter at all and maybe never really did, and so they should maybe just do and say whatever the hell they want. Which makes a terrible kind of sense: Since everything else is already in the Upside-Down, why should politics be exempt?

PAJIBABehold, the very definition of “douchebaggery”