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Robert Kardashian stated Khloe is his biological daughter, Kris Jenner calls paternity claims ‘crap’

ByDarren O

Yesterday a story blew up about Khloe Kardashian and whether or not she’s the biological daughter of the late Robert Kardashian. All of this heat came from comments made by Robert’s 2nd wife Jan Ashley and his widow Ellen Kardashian. Now Robert, in court papers, and mother Kris are firing back at the allegations. Read the late Robert Kardashian’s statement about Khloe and see Kris in an interview in which she speaks candidly about the rumors.

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PHOTOS Selena Gomez reveals blue and purple extensions for upcoming tour

ByDarren O

While singer Selena Gomez’s boyfriend Justin Bieber was busy getting himself a new Jesus tattoo, the young starlet decided to make an eye popping change of her own to her look. Gomez swung by Nine Zero One salon in West Hollywood yesterday, because the girl can, and had the gals who treat her right there add some very brazen blue and purple extensions to her brunette locks. Check out two pics tweeted by Selena, find out about her upcoming tour and let us know what you think of the bright new look.

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New ABC series ‘The Revolution’ is ‘Biggest Loser’ shrunk to one hour

ByRuby Turpin

Do you love to watch those amazing Biggest Loser transformations, but hate waiting all those weeks and months to get to them? Well, the folks who brought you weight loss magic Bob and Jillian-style, have a new show just for you. The Revolution!

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AUDIO LYRICS John Parr updates St. Elmo’s Fire theme for Tim Tebow

ByDarren O

John Parr got a grammy nomination back in 1985 for his song ‘Man In Motion” best known as the theme to the brat pack film St. Elmo’s Fire. Well Parr is still around and was so inspired by quarterback Tim Tebow that he was rewritten the song to a reimagined work called “Tim Tebow’s Fire.” This is real, he did that and you can listen to the audio and get the full lyrics here.

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VIDEOS Teen Mom 2 S2 E6&7 After Show and bonus footage break down

ByDarren O

It’s time again for our Wednesday break down of the Teen Mom 2 After Show and bonus footage. And this time we have double the baby-daddy trouble as MTV dropped a two-fer on us last night. For this go around we’ve got Leah and the wonderful news she received about little Ali, Chelsea and her inability to ever let Adam go, Kailyn and the joy she experienced during Isaac’s first birthday and Jenelle explaining the comparative temperaments of herself and Kieffer Delp and how marijuana was her security blanket.

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REPORT Is Leah Messer pregnant again… with twins? UPDATE: Leah calls twins story “fake”

ByAsa Hawks

Not to be out-scooped by Reality Weekly‘s shocking interview with Leah Messer’s boyfriend fiance Jeremy Calvert last week (which revealed Leah is indeed expecting again), In Touch has gone to one of their unnamed “inside sources” for a shocking Leah Messer follow-up announcement: “Leah Pregnant – It’s Twins Again!” Keep reading for the details from the article and our take on the validity of the story.

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VIDEO Jason Alexander rubs Courtney Stodden’s bikini body for Funny or Die

ByDarren O

It looks like Courtney Stodden is going with what works by having yet another 50 something actor rub on her. This time it’s not her husband Doug Hutchison but Seinfeld star Jason Alexander. Watch the premiere of The Donny Clay Show via Funny or Die that has Alexander rubbing his iPhone all over Courtney’s bikini clad breasts.

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Khloe Kardashian’s two stepmoms claim that she’s not Robert Kardashian’s biological daughter

ByDarren O

According to Robert Kardashian’s ex-wife Jan Ashley he stated matter-of-fact that Khloe Kardashian was not his bioligical daughter. In addition Robert’s widow, Ellen Kardashian, is stating that Khloe often feared that this was the truth and that Robert often questioned if he was her biological father. Read for the stinging comments and get Khloe’s Twitter response to these accusations.

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Jillian Michaels is almost a mommy

ByDarren O

Trainer Jillian Michaels of The Biggest Loser fame is this close to reaching her goal of becoming a mommy. Michaels left The Biggest Loser with dreams of beginning a family and she’s met the little girl she is hoping to adopt during a trip to Haiti. Read her excited but cautious statements about fulfilling her goal of becoming a first time mom.

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Jenelle Evans arrested for “communicating threats” to Hannah Inman; Lawyer calls charges absurd and retaliatory

ByStarcasm Staff

Jenelle Evans was arrested again!

Jenelle was booked today, January 10, 2012 at around 10:15 a.m. in Brunswick County for “harassing phone calls” and “communicating threats,” according to Brunswick County Sheriff’s Office. She posted a $1,000 bond, and was out of jail before noon today.

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Katherine Heigl honestly blogs about difficulties of juggling motherhood with her career

ByStarcasm Staff

Actress Katherine Heigl adopted baby Naleigh with husband Josh Kelley September, 2009 from South Korea. One of the reasons she adopted Naleigh was because Katherine’s old sister Meg Heigl-Beltran was also adopted from Korea.

Now, in a new blog for ivillage, Katherine really opens up about the stresses (and nightmare) of trying to excel in her career, as a new mom, and as a wife.

Pregnant 14-year-old girl sues family to prevent forced abortion

ByAsa Hawks

A pregnant teen in Corpus Christi, Texas has gone to court to prevent her family from forcing her to have an abortion. The 14-year-old girl, who chooses to remain anonymous, reportedly lived with her adult cousins who she accused of “physically assaulting her by grabbing her by the neck, hitting her across the jaw and threatening to beat her if she didn’t get an abortion.” She has gotten a court injunction preventing her family from interfering with her decision, but it expires on January 19 when she is scheduled to go before the judge again to try to have it extended.

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VIDEOS NeNe Leakes as swim coach Roz Washington on Glee

ByAsa Hawks

Glee stars Lea Michelle and Chris Colfer announced during their appearance on Watch What Happens Live a few weeks ago that The Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes would be appearing on Glee as swim coach Roz Washington and now we have video proof! Check out these two video clips of Miss Linnethia Leakes from the set of Glee during taping of her episode “Yes/No,” set to air January 17.

LISTEN to Amber Rose’s single “Fame” featuring boyfriend Wiz Khalifa

ByStarcasm Staff

Amber Rose released her first single “Fame” featuring her boyfriend Wiz Khalifa.

She told MTV.com that she didn’t share the song with Wiz until it was completely finished. “I made the entire song and then sent it to him, he was overseas on tour at the time.He thought the track was dope and I asked him if he would be on it, he said definitely.” She also said she’s taking voice lessons, and is working on a full album. Listen to it now.

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Tabatha Coffey grew up with mobsters and drag queen strippers!

ByStarcasm Staff

TTabatha Coffey is one of our major crushes at starcasm.net! It’s that no-nonsense, ball-busting attitude surrounding a very sweet and caring center that gets us. Plus, she’s hot! A new iteration of her salon takeover show called Tabatha Takes Over (airing Tuesdays 10/9c) follows Tabatha taking over everything from salons to yogurt shops, and all kinds of other businesses. Tabatha knows hair, but the true value of what she brings to salons is a keen business sense and emphasis on customer service, which can be used to turn around ANY business.

Like many interesting people, Tabatha did not have a boring childhood. In fact, the now-fit hairdresser-guru was once overweight, and grew up around drag queen strippers and mobsters!

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VIDEO Ax Men’s Chad Miano discusses the ‘dignity dividend’ of horse logging

ByDarren O

The fifth season of History’s Ax Men is underway and one of the new teams is H.H. Horse Logging out of Floyd County, Virginia. This region is famous for being home to some of the greatest and most influential musicians in recorded American history including The Carter Family and Ralph Stanley. Now the men of H.H., Jagger and Jason Rutledge and horseman Chad Miano are looking to put this area on the reality map while providing viewers with a taste of what horse logging is all about. See a great clip of horseman Chad Miano from a few years back discussing why he loves horse logging and the concept of a “dignity dividend” in the line of work he has chosen.

Who is single mom Jessica Red from Caged? Does she get back together with Wes Branch?

ByStarcasm Staff

Jessica “Red” is the ex-girlfriend and baby’s mother of Wes on the new MTV MMA fighting show Caged! She’s a super gorgeous nursing student with fiery red hair, and a good head on her shoulders. Jessica is from a small Louisiana town called Mendin, where she feels trapped (get it, this show’s title is literal AND metaphorical!)

Red and Wes broke up three months before they started taping the show, and Red thinks Wes uses fighting to escape reality “whenever he has a lot of stress, or any kind of anger . . . he can just go and train.” Without the fighting competition, Red thinks that Wes would be getting in all sorts of trouble.

She and Wes broke up three months before they started taping the show, and Red thinks Wes uses fighting to escape reality “whenever he has a lot of stress, or any kind of anger . . . he can just go and train.” Without the fighting competition, Red thinks that Wes would be getting in all sorts of trouble.

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SPOILER ALERT! Who is The Bachelor’s Ben Flajnik engaged to?

ByStarcasm Staff

Who’s The Bachelor’s Ben Flajnik engaged to? Did he pick anyone at all? Bachelor spoiler rumors are swirling.

Reality Steve, The Bachelor‘s notorious spoiler (who is currently being sued for allegedly persuading contestants, sometimes with money, to break their contract) revealed that the winemaker is engaged to

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Legendary guitar picker Jack White on American Pickers tonight

ByDarren O

I’m pretty obsessed with musician Jack White. I’m pretty obsessed with the show American Pickers. I’m certainly obsessed with American Pickers‘ Danielle Colby Cushman. I’m completely indifferent about a gigantic elephant head but if the latter brings all the former three together than I’m all about it and that’s exactly the case for tonight’s episode of American Pickers. See a brief video clip that defines the term teaser…

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PHOTOS The Bachelor’s Blakeley Shea was Hooters Energy Drink can model

ByAsa Hawks

The 25 single ladies competing for Ben Flajnik on Season 16 of The Bachelor are so attractive I just want to drink them up! Imagine my surprise when I found out that for one of them, model Blakeley Shea, it’s actually an option! Keep reading to see Hooters hottie Blakeley Shea as a model gracing cans of Hooters Energy Drink. As a bonus, you can also see Blakeley’s cover of Hooters magazine as well as videos of her in a Hooters bikini contest and posing for a…. convenience store restroom photo shoot?

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Beyonce suffered a miscarriage before getting pregnant with Blue Ivy Carter; daddy Jay-Z releases GLORY for his daughter

ByStarcasm Staff

Blue Ivy Carter’s daddy Jay-Z released a very sweet song for his new daughter today called “Glory, featuring B.I.C.” (listen below.)

He sings “Baby, I paint the sky blue, my greatest creation was you,” and also “You’re my child from a child of Destiny’s child.”

The song ends with Blue Ivy, or B.I.C.’s cries. She’s not even two days old, and she’s already a recording artist!

Jay-Z also reveals in the song that wife Beyonce suffered a miscarriage before she became pregnant with baby Ivy Blue:

“Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you’d disappear/But nah baby you magic.”

True Life Textaholic’s Kristin Raeon says her divorce had nothing to do with texting

ByStarcasm Staff

On the MTV documentaryTrue Life: I’m a Textaholic (premiere date Nov. 5, 2011), Kristin Raeon was featured to tell the story of her texting addiction. The basic storyline of the show was that her constant texting was ruining her life, causing her to have problems in school, and ultimately ended her marriage. Kristin was shown going a birthday trip to Panama City with her husband Steven Brooks. They went out drinking, and to to shock and dismay of the viewing audience, Kristin immediately let a guy buy her drinks, exchanged numbers with him, and then ran back to tell her husband about it. Kristin got a lot of backlash about this depicted behavior, but she tells starcasm.net exclusively that all wasn’t as it seemed.

Dance Instructor Abby Lee Miller
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Dance Mom’s Abby Lee Miller advises parents how to raise ‘coddled’ kids

ByDarren O

According to reality TV’s new villain, you pretty much are lousy at being a parent. Don’t be too sad about this because Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms doles out advice on how you can can better raise your “coddled” kids. Gee, thanks Abby! Find out how to be a better role model the Abby way including a video in which she screams at one of the dance moms about how her dad took her to the mother-daughter menstruation talk. WHAH!?!

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Mob Wives’ Angela “Big Ang” Raiola’s uncle Salvatore ‘Sally Dogs’ Lombardi was a Genovese capo

ByDarren O

If you’ve been tuning in to the 2nd season of VH1’s docu-series Mob Wives, and apparently many of you have, you certainly noticed new addition Angela “Big Ang” Raiola.

She’s more outspoken than the other cast members (what a statement), lives up to her large nickname and even larger lady lumps as she likes to joke about and seems to fit right in with “the lifestyle” of the New York City Mob scene. Turns out that “Big Ang” should fit in because girl is connected not only through blood but through business dealings and just her everyday living. Raiola rolls with it so I though I’d key you in on her connections to “the lifestyle” and why you see her frequently getting respect from the peeps on Mob Wives.

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VIDEOS PHOTOS Barry Weiss’ Cowboy Cadillac from Storage Wars

ByAsa Hawks

On A&E’s treasure-hunting reality series Storage Wars the second-most exciting moment is when they cut the locks of the abandoned storage units and the doors go up, revealing the mysterious contents inside. The first-most exciting moment? Seeing what kind of vehicle “The Collector” Barry Weiss arrives in! Keep reading for all sorts of photos, videos, and info on Barry’s most famous ride, his custom black 1947 “Cowboy Cadillac.”

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Are Mob Wives Renee Graziano and ex-husband Junior Pagan still back together?

ByStarcasm Staff

Renee Graziano is back with Hector Pagan ex-husband Hector Pagan Jr. (a.k.a. Junior) and the father of her son AJ (Anthony John). Hector Pagan Jr.

Last year Junior Pagan was rounded up in a major mob bust, leaving Renee devastated. She briefly got back with her ex-husband, but left him after she found out he was seeing other women.

On tonight’s episode Junior wanted to spend time with Renee in the six months he had while he wanted for his sentencing for the last bust. He told Renee that her brush with death during her plastic surgery nightmare scared him because he didn’t want to lose her. When she asked if he didn’t want to lose her because he was still in love with her, or because he loved her, he replied “both,” which made her break down. Renee replied “I’ve been waiting for this for year. For years I’ve been in love with you, only you.”

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Cajun Pawn Stars uncovers lost Jerry Lee Lewis recording from 1952

ByAsa Hawks

As further proof that reality shows can be educational as well as historically significant, the second episode of Thee History Channel’s new series Cajun Pawn Stars features a rare recording purported to be from 1952 and featuring rockabilly/rock and roll/country piano legend Jerry Lee Lewis – two years prior to when historians previously thought Jerry Lee cut his first demo. Goodness gracious… Great balls of fire!

Marlo Hampton’s face slash victim reportedly committed suicide 6 years after altercation: Marlo responds
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Marlo Hampton’s face slash victim reportedly committed suicide 6 years after altercation: Marlo responds

ByStarcasm Staff

Charles Grant’s girlfriend Marlo Hampton is making an appearance on the Real Housewives of Atlanta this year, but she didn’t get cast in a top spot.

Hampton, who’s been arrested seven times, made quick friends with NeNe Leakes, who was romantically linked to Charles (and who says that they “had a drink together” a long time ago.)

Our pal Michelle Brown at Straight From the A has been serving up the dish on Marlo for a while, and she’s revealed a new development. Marlo’s first arrest was in 1999 for felony Aggravated Battery / Great bodily harm with a weapon. According to Straight From the A, she slashed a woman’s face during a fight with a man.

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Scott Disick’s grandfather is a luxury resort developer

ByStarcasm Staff

Everyone knows Scott Disick from the Pop Culture Royalty Kardashians, as Kourtney Kardashian’s partner, baby Mason’s father, (and as American Psycho Patrick Bateman lookalike) but Scott’s family is also involved in luxury resort development and fractional real estate.

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Katy Perry responds to gossip about divorce on Twitter

ByAsa Hawks

Singer Katy Perry wants everybody to know one thing: Nobody speaks for Katy Perry other than Katy Perry!

Katy took to Twitter to thank her fans for their support after her husband of 14 months filed for divorce on December 30, but immediately after she angrily tweeted in response to the numerous stories about the split that quoted her family and sources close to her. It also assumed she is referencing her parents recent sermon in Ohio during which the topic of Katy’s divorce came up numerous times.

PHOTOS LeAnn Rimes plays bikini bocce ball, Eddie Cibrian plays grabass

ByAsa Hawks

Singer LeAnn Rimes has been putting on quite the bikini fashion show over the last few days as she vacations in Hawaii with hubby Eddie Cibrian. In the latest installment of LeAnn’s “Bikinithon 2012” she is photographed toting a couple frosty brews, playing a rather suggestive game of bocce ball, and allowing Eddie a PG-13 feel up of her slightly more ample badonkadonk.

UPDATE – We had a number of commenters claiming that they could see the planet between Saturn and Neptune in the pics (in other words, a LeAnnus) so I had to censor the photos. But, if you’re feeling like Galileo and want to go looking for planets you can click on the edited picture for originals.

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Facebook, Twitter, Google, Wikipedia and more threaten shut down over SOPA bill

ByAsa Hawks

When The House of Representatives meet on January 24 they will be served with a heaping helping of hot potato in the form of the SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) bill. The legislation is aimed at cracking down on copyright infringement and has ruffled the feathers of a coalition of internet giants such as Google, Facebook, Yahoo!, Twitter, Wikipedia, eBay, and more. The coalition is reportedly considering a “nuclear option” that would mean a synchronized shut down that would bring the internet to a virtual halt. Keep reading for more details and links that might have you stockpiling your virtual bomb shelters in preparation for SOPArmageddon!

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PHOTO – Adele has a new man! Meet Simon Konecki

ByStarcasm Staff

Our girl Adele’s got a new man! He’s furry, his nickname is Swampy, and he’s an investment-banker-turned-charity-CEO.

Simon (36) runs the water charity Drop4Drop out of Brighton, and the organization has projects running all over the world to help provide safe and clean water to those in need of it. Awww, so he’s tries to make the world a better place!

Read on to find out more!

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Jersey Shore’s “The Unit” facing 3-5 years for having date rape drug Ketamine

ByAsa Hawks

It appears as though Jersey Shore‘s curly-headed walking six-pack known as “The Unit” is in a bit of a “situation.” The Unit (real name Jonathan “Jonny” Manfre, 32) was arrested back in July when Seaside Heights Police found him in possession of a white powdery substance that turned out to be Ketamine, a dissociative anesthetic sometimes used as a date rape drug. He has since been charged with felony drug possession and faces 3-5 years behind bars if convicted.

Keep reading for all the details in the “Return Issue” of starcasm.net’s Douche Bagazine, on virtual newsstands now!

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PHOTOS Tamra Barney explains why she had her breast implants removed

ByAsa Hawks

After having her breast implants removed The Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Barney has been inundated with fans asking her why she would do that, to which she responded on Facebook with a laundry list of reasons. Keep reading for those as well as photos of Tamra before and after she had her “stripper look” breast implants removed.

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PHOTOS Farrah Abraham launches Mom & Me brand Italian hot pepper sauce

ByAsa Hawks

Teen Momtrepreneur Farrah Abraham is at it again! The reality star revealed today that she will be launching a line of food products under the “Mom & Me” brand name, the first of which will be an Italian hot pepper sauce. Keep reading for preliminary photos of what the label and logo will look like as well as lots of details about the brand and the hot sauce in particular!

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VIDEO Jersey Shore’s The Unit blasts Snooki

ByDarren O

Last night the world, or at least the millions of peeps who tuned into the season 5 premiere of Jersey Shore, got introduced to The Situation’s Guido-BFF, The Unit. His big splash other than being a mix between Mike and Pauly D with the curly blow-out was getting into it with Snooki. Well The Unit ran in to the paps probably not by accident and had a few choice words for Snooki and then bragged on himself. Ahhhhhh, he should fit in just fine.

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PHOTOS Beverly Hills Housewife Dana Wilkey gettin’ her drink on, flashin’ her unmentionables

ByAsa Hawks

“See these panties? 25 thousand dollars.”

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills newbie Dana Wilkey was more like Vuh-Dana Silky (that was for you Andy Cohen) last night as she left Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR Lounge looking to be twenty-five thousand sheets to the wind. After stumbling about with the assistance of a pal (no, not her mysterious fiance John Flynn) Dana flopped into her car Britney Spears style, giving photogs (and now us) a Wilkey’s Secret fashion show.

Sienna Miller is pregnant with boyfriend Tom Sturridge’s baby! (Who is Tom Sturridge anyway?)

ByStarcasm Staff

Sienna Miller (30) is expecting her first child with boyfriend of almost a year Tom Sturridge, US Weekly reports. Their source claims Sienna and Tom “don’t have plans right away to marry, if at all.” They reportedly weren’t surprised about the news of the pregnancy, and are “really good together.”

Who is Tom Sturridge anyway?

Cajun Pawn Stars Tammie

VIDEOS PHOTOS Meet Tammie DeRamus from Cajun Pawn Stars

ByDarren O

Tammie DeRamus may be the daughter of Silver Pawn’s Jimmie “Big Daddy” DeRamus but the Cajun Pawn Star brunette knows just about as much in regards to the business and could sell sawdust to a lumber mill. I thought I’d do a litttle profile on the woman who is a pawn store lifer and runs the day to day operations of Silver Dollar Pawn and Jewelry featured on The History Channel’s Cajun Pawn Stars.

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Jailed Teen Mom Amber Portwood now faces eviction

ByDarren O

Teen Mom Amber Portwood’s life has been rough to say the least lately. She’s been cooling her heels in the Madison County Jail on probation violation, was rumored to have been on suicide watch, has been placed in a gen pop room and sleeping on a mat, went as far as to tell a judge she will be quitting the show and now this…

Her landlord is looking to evict her from her rented home.

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Drew Barrymore engaged to Will Kopelman

ByDarren O

Actress and Cover Girl Drew Marrymore Barrymore has went and got her self engaged to boyfriend Will Kopelman. You know, if she went traditional and changed her name she would be Drew Kopelman. That sounds like the guy who sold me my last used car but I digress… Get the deets on this latest forever walk for Drew and find out exactly who this Will the thrill chap is.

Teen runaway Jakadrien Turner mistakenly deported to Colombia; found in Bogota pregnant, working as a maid

ByStarcasm Staff

In 2010 14-year-old Jakadrien Turner ran away from home in amidst family turmoil, and ended up being mistakenly deported to Colombia. It’s an incredible story, but that’s reportedly what happened, and she’s now 15, pregnant, and waiting in a detention holding facility after having built a whole different life for herself in Bogota. Now, both nations are trying to figure out exactly what went wrong.

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PHOTOS Who is Snooki’s friend Ryder? Meet Caitlin Ryder from Jersey Shore

ByAsa Hawks

Snooki’s pal Ryder made her Jersey Shore return during the Season 5 premiere earlier tonight and it didn’t take this DTF bombshell brunette long to get her smoosh room ticket punched! Keep reading to find out who got to put the first notch of the season in the ol’ beach house bedpost and get to know Ryder better with photos and a little background info. (Make sure you have your virus protection turned on!)

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PHOTOS – Who is The Situation’s friend Jonny “The Unit” Manfre?

ByStarcasm Staff

Looks like Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s ab soul mate featured on Jersey Shore Season 5 Jonny “The Unit” Manfre has out-situationed his ab situation. But “The Unit” got his nickname because of other endowments, namely, as he told MTV’s Remote Control Blog the “mini-baseball bat in my pants.” He’s previously made press for being arrested at the Jersey Shore house this July for possessing “white powdery substance.” No one’s wrangled up his mug shot, but he was led away from the Shore house in handcuffs. The drama surrounding his arrest will probably be covered later this season.

Learn more about The Sitch’s pal The Unit

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PHOTO Jason Derulo breaks his neck, cancels concerts

ByAsa Hawks

22-year-old Jason Derulo was rehearsing in Florida for his upcoming world tour when he injured himself performing an acrobatic stunt. The singer landed awkwardly on his head resulting in an acute fracture to his vertebra. Derulo has reportedly been released from Memorial West Hospital in Pembroke Pines, Florida and was able to share a photo wearing his neck brace along with a positive message for fans on his Facebook page.

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VIDEO Honey Boo Boo gets “juiced” before pageants with Go-Go Juice

ByAsa Hawks

The latest installment in the Toddlers & Tiaras Hall of Fame is 6-year-old Alana from McIntyre, Georgia whose mom June (“The Coupon Queen”) gives her “special juice” to help her get energized for pageants. But, unless she’s on special juice all the time, I don’t know why she needs it! This girl is pumped and ready to go ALL THE TIME!

“Those other girls must be crazy if they think they’re gonna beat me, honey boo boo chiiiiild!”

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Starcasm’s Top 5 Jersey Shore Posts Ever!

ByAsa Hawks

Tonight the cast of Jersey Shore makes their triumphant return to television and to Seaside Heights as Snooki, Pauly D, JWoww, The Situation, Vinny, Sammi, Ronnie, and Deena kick off the Season 5 Premiere of MTV’s smash hit reality series. Who ever would have ever thought that those tanned, drunk, half-naked, ridiculously nicknamed Guido and Guidettes gettin’ nasty in a hot tub would go on to become six five of the biggest celebrities on the planet?!?

Starcasm.net started not long before Jersey Shore debuted on MTV, so it was one of the first shows we covered from the very beginning. So, in honor of five seasons of contagious charismatic clubbing and GTL, I though I might compile Starcasm’s Top 5 Jersey Shore Posts Ever highlighting our lengthy and rather intimate (don’t worry – we used virus protection) relationship with the guys and gals of Joisey Shore!

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Shotgun mom will not be prosecuted, man who survived break in charged with first-degree murder

ByDarren O

Sarah McKinley from Blanchard, Oklahoma will not face any prosecution for shooting, and killing, Justin Shane Martin whom cops allege was attempting to break into her mobile home with a knife. The surviving assailant, Dustin Louis Stewart, was booked on first-degree burglary charges but the District Attorney has upped that to murder first-degree. Read on for the latest in regards to the amazing story of Sarah McKinley.

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Details about Leah Messer and Jeremy Calvert’s engagement; what does ex-husband Corey Simms think?

ByStarcasm Staff

Okay, so everyone now knows that Leah Messer is expecting her third baby with boyfriend Jeremy Calvert (his first), and that they’re engaged. Now we have the details on their engagement, Leah’s ring, and ex-husband Corey’s response. Jeremy reportedly proposed to Leah on Christmas Day (exactly one year after the Christmas episode we watched on…

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Slimmed down Snooki wants uplifting breasts like JWoww

ByDarren O

By that header I am sure you’re already prepared for the most important news story of all time. Well here it comes! Jersey Shore’s Snooki is ready for breast augmentation surgery so her Jersey twins can be “uplifting” like her reality gal-pal JWoww. Read on for the deets as to why, which atcually has nothing to do with being larger.

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What caused Mariah Carey’s husband Nick Cannon’s “mild kidney failure”?

ByStarcasm Staff

Yesterday (January 4, 2012) Mariah Carey tweeted a pic of her husband Nick Cannon in a hospital bed, asking for prayers as he recovers from “mild kidney failure.”

The couple were in Aspen at the time of the hospitalization, but Cannon tweeted that he was being moved to L.A. yesterday evening.

Is there such a thing as “mild” kidney failure? What causes it? Is Cannon going to completely recover?

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VIDEOS Casey Anthony speaks out for first time in strange homemade clips

ByDarren O

The subject of what is arguably the most scrutinized trial in media history, Casey Anthony, has finally decided to speak out! She has sat down with Barbara Walters in front of a web cam and decided to speak candidly about her trial the adoption of a dog and life on probation. See one of the strangest clips ever as Casey talks about not much for almost five minutes.

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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian cheated together on Amber Rose and Reggie Bush?

ByStarcasm Staff

Kanye West’s ex girlfriend Amber Rose hasn’t spoken much about her breakup with Kanye West, but now, in an exclusive interview with Star magazine, she says Kanye was cheating with Kim Kardashian in 2010, who was also cheating on her ex Reggie Bush. Looks like Kim Kardashian was taking her “many loves” dream to the extreme!

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Teen Mom Leah Messer IS pregnant again with Jeremy Calvert’s baby! (Plus, they’re engaged)

ByAsa Hawks

Rumors have been swirling for weeks that Teen Mom 2 star Leah Messer is pregnant again with her new boyfriend Jeremy Calvert, but the reality star and her family have adamantly denied the reports. Until now! Jeremy has revealed in an interview that she IS pregnant and that the couple is engaged! Keep reading for all the jaw-dropping details!