Each and every episode of TLC’s Toddlers and Tiaras is shocking, sensational, and newsworthy, but for some reason I just can’t get anesthetized to it! (Who could watch a 3-year-old girl walk the stage in Julia Roberts’ hooker outfit from Pretty Woman and not be shocked?!?)
The latest installment in the Toddlers & Tiaras Hall of Fame is 6-year-old Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson from McIntyre, Georgia whose mama June (“The Coupon Queen”) Shannon gives her “special juice” to help her get energized for pageants. But, unless she’s on special juice all the time, I don’t know why she needs it! This girl is pumped and ready to go ALL THE TIME!
“Those other girls must be crazy if they think they’re gonna beat me, honey boo boo chiiiiild!”
UPDATE – Alana has her own spin-off reality series! Titled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! Click the link for more details!
I realize there are all sorts of genetic laws working against this theory, but Alana HAS to be the long lost daughter of The Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s NeNe Leakes! Did NeNe ever spend any time in McIntyre?
^ “A dolla make me holla, honey boo boo!”
As far as the “Super Juice” (r “Go-Go Juice) Alana’s mom explained it this way:
“A lot of pageant moms and people know what the “special juice” is, everybody has their different concoctions. you know, special juice is just to help her energize her.
“A lot of moms say, ‘Oh, well you’re doping up your child,’ well hey, no I’m not. I’m not hurting her.
“We had tried Pixy Stix, as they’re called ‘pageant crack.’ We have – pbfbfbffft – We went through fifteen bags at one pageant, and it just don’t do anything for her.
“She just drinks it for pageants, to give her that extra ‘umpff.’ So, whatever works for your child, use it.”
Alana had 15 Pixy Stix prior to a pageant?!? I can only imagine what’s in the drink! (UPDATE – it was revealed on Anderson that the recipe for “Go-go Juice” is Red Bull and Mountain Dew.)
And what does Alana think of her magic pageant potion?
“Go-go juice makes me laughy, and play-ey, and makes me feel like I want to pull my mommy’s hair.”
Ummmmm… I think I’ve known people hooked on “special juice.” This girl might need help!
Also, did anyone else notice that June the “Coupon Queen” had 90,000 rolls of aluminum foil and even more toilet paper, but only two pieces of furniture in the whole house? Come to think of it, I guess I don’t remember seeing too many buy one get one free furniture coupons.