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Tabloid covers for the week of February 20, 2012

ByAsa Hawks

Last week’s tabloid covers were dominated by Demi Moore’s troubles, but this week Demi takes a back seat on all but one publication (The National Enquirer) and is replaced as the main cover story by a diverse cast of tabloid-worthy staples like Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Khloe Kasrdashian, Teen Mom Jenelle Evans and The Bachelor Ben Flajnik with [SPOILER ALERT] rumored fiance Courtney Robertson.

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Super Bowl XLVI was the most-watched TV show ever with 111.3 million viewers

ByAsa Hawks

The final numbers are in and last night’s broadcast of the Super Bowl on NBC is officially the most-watched U.S. television program of all time! The final numbers have viewership at 111.3 million, which beats out last year’s Super Bowl on Fox by .3 million. Keep reading for more of the night’s record-breaking numbers including Madonna’s halftime performance and the season premiere of The Voice.

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Dad shoots son for singing karaoke Kenny Chesney, son ain’t mad about it

ByDarren O

Country singing star Kenny Chesney leads the way with 9 ACM Award nominations. Just don’t mention that crap to William Oller Sr. of Singletown, California because he just might shoot you son. Or shoot his son! Read on to find out how Sr. went about shutting Jr. up and why after a few bullets his son ain’t mad about it. Now that’s country!

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Anti-gay activists One Million Moms ask JC Penney to fire Ellen DeGeneres as their spokesperson

ByStarcasm Staff

Ellen DeGeneres is working with JC Penney (rebranded as JCP) as they try to rejuvenate their company (the ads with all the screaming didn’t exactly help with that, somebody page Don Draper.)

But thanks to the anti-gay conservative Christina activist group One Million Moms (which only has about 40,000 likes on Facebook, btw) JCP’s getting some extra free press. OMM calls for a boycott of JCP’s products unless they drop Ellen, just because she’s openly gay.

Wealthy businessman sued for DUI wrongful death adopts girlfriend; is it incest for them to have sex?

ByStarcasm Staff

48-year-old 2ealthy Polo club founder John Goodman, who is currently in the middle of a civil case over a drunk driving death he caused in 2010, is receiving a lot of heat for adopting his 42-year-old girlfriend Heather Hutchins October 2011. Not only is that a weird act, but plaintiff’s attorneys believe this odd legal action was a blatant attempt to shield his assets from the legal proceedings.

Sounds sort of fishy, but while the legal system works out this mess, it still begs the question: Now that his girlfriend is his daughter, is it legally considered incest to have sex with her?

Pfizer issues massive recall on mispackaged birth control pills

ByDarren O

Consider this a serious heads up to those of you who read starcasm and could possibly be effected by this recent news. Pfizer has recalled a million possibly mispackaged birth control blister packs. Find out which blister packets of the pill are being recalled and what you need to do if this effects you.

Internet spooked by scary woman behind the couch photo

ByAsa Hawks

It’s not often I get to do a post about a photo of a piece of furniture (I think the closest I have come is when I wrote about Teresa Giudice’s bankruptcy auction), but today I get that rare opportunity thanks to the viral heebie jeebie inducing couch photo above. It might seem like your everyday sofa photo at first glance, but if you look long enough you might just poop your britches when you find yourself face to face with…

THE WOMAN BEHIND THE COUCH!

Brooklyn mom allegedly cursed at, abandoned daughters then posted champagne photo

ByDarren O

Dalisha Adams of Brooklyn, New York is accused of abandoning two of her young children on Sunday. The children were found lost on the streets near their grandmother’s house clutching diapers and bundled up for the currently cold weather. Read on to find out what she’s been charged with and to see a disturbing photo that popped up on her Facebook page while the police were still looking for her.

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Erin Brockovich, Dr. Drew think teen girl Tourrette’s symptom epidemic may be caused by toxins, not mass hysteria

ByStarcasm Staff

Last October (2011) a group of 13 teenage girls in upstate New York town LeRoy suddenly developed unexplained Tourrette’s Syndrome like tic symptoms. Many of the girls experienced the symptoms simultaneously, but weren’t aware that the other girls were experiencing the same thing.

A neurologist has diagnosed the girls with “mass hysteria,” and school officials release reports that there are no toxic chemicals at the school, but famous environmental activist Erin Brockovich is investigating these claims.

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PHOTOS Christina Aguilera leaks mystery fluid down her leg at Etta James funeral performance

ByAsa Hawks

We did a post earlier today featuring Christina Aguilera’s emotional rendition of “At Last” at the funeral of her mentor, legendary R&B singer Etta James. I confess that I was focused on Christina’s face, hands, and rather revealing neckline during the performance and failed to notice (as one commenter with a keen eye – and/or affinity for legs – pointed out) that there appears to be some sort of mystery fluid streaming down her leg. Is it makeup and sweat? Was Christina hiding a diet coke in her pocket? Could she possibly be a robot?!?

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PHOTO Alleged toxic tush doctor accomplice attacked on TV show

ByDarren O

The greatest “badonkadon’t try this at home” story ever continued in dramatic fashion as the alleged accomplice of Oneal Ron Morris was attacked during a taping of a Spanish-language show yesterday. The man’s name is Corey Eubank and police believe he was the middle man for the bottom-bulging procedures that Morris would perform using a toxic mixture of items including Fix-a-Flat. He was on the show to defend his innocence but got attacked by an angry mom instead.

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WARNING Do not play ding dong ditch with Bernadette Greenwald

ByDarren O

A former prosecutor has been accused of getting so fed up with kids ringing her doorbell and running away she grabbed a gun and opened fire. Get the crazy details of this one including the fact that she had the wrong kid, a big ol’ mug shot and how the lady and not the kid has been charged with crimes by the cops.

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Congressional campaign manager’s cat killed over political motivations

ByDarren O

Ken Aden is running for congress in Arkansas’ 3rd district. His campaign manager arrived home with his four children Sunday night and discovered their family pet, a Siamese cat mix, bludgeoned to death with the word “liberal” scrawled across its body. See the disturbing image (warning – graphic in nature) and read official comments from Aden.

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“If I Die” Facebook app allows you to post messages after you’re dead

ByAsa Hawks

Are you concerned about what will happen to your Facebook profile after you’re gone? There’s no need to worry because Israel-based startup company Willook has got you covered with their “If I Die” app that allows you to post text messages and/or videos to your wall after you’re gone! Keep reading to find out what all you can do, watch a couple promotional videos, and see a screen shot of the app’s interface.

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PHOTOS Real life Beavis and Butt-Head?

ByAsa Hawks

Watching Beavis and Butt-Head will never be the same thanks to self-employed special effects artist Kevin Kirkpatrick (Sucker Punch, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides) who created life-like sculptures of the juvenile cartoonagers for the upcoming art show “Conjoined 2 in 3d; The Sequel” opening at the Copro Gallery on Saturday. If you’re not averse to OMG moments or night terrors, keep reading for the photos! “Heh heh!”

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STUDY: 1 in 6 teen moms simply believed they couldn’t get pregnant

ByDarren O

The CDC has recently released a report based on a survey of thousands of young teenage mothers who had unplanned pregnancies in the U.S. While the pregnancy rate among teenagers is falling we still have the highest rate among all developed countries. Some of the findings in this report highlight probable reasons why.

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Greg Page rejoins The Wiggles

ByDarren O

While many sites on these here interwebs have blacked out to protest SOPA perhaps the toddlers of our great nation have silently pulled off a massive coup by getting the original Wiggle singer-gangsta Greg Page back in the fold. Find out why Greg originally said goodbye to Dorothy the Dinosaur and Captain Feathersword and how his replacement Sam has dealt with being told to “Z Ya.” Beauty mate!

VIDEO Unborn baby’s swift kick saved daddy’s life

ByDarren O

Millions of daddies over thousands of years have experienced the incredible joy of feeling their little one kick in their mommy’s womb. A man named Thomas from Canton, GA might be the first, however, to have had his life literally saved by a swift boot from his unborn child! See a video news report on the amazing story that has me wondering; Have you ever felt like your unborn child was communicating to you from the womb?

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Teen Mom official soundtrack drops today

ByDarren O

One of the things we don’t get to talk enough about in regards to Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 are the songs used on the program and how they often play a pivotal role in driving the mama-drama. All that’s changing now as MTV has announced the release of the official Teen Mom Soundtrack featuring songs used during the highly successful cable show. Find out where to get the songs, the full track list and complete full versions of all 12 songs from the release here.

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Jenelle Evans’ former boss James Duffy charged with cyberstalking her

ByAsa Hawks

One day after Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans was arrested for harassing former roommate Hannah Inman, Jenelle’s former boss James Duffy is charged with cyberbullying Jenelle. Keep reading for the details, a statement from Jenelle’s attorney, and a rough timeline of all the events leading up to Jenelle’s arrest and Duffy’s cyberstalking charge.

Pregnant 14-year-old girl sues family to prevent forced abortion

ByAsa Hawks

A pregnant teen in Corpus Christi, Texas has gone to court to prevent her family from forcing her to have an abortion. The 14-year-old girl, who chooses to remain anonymous, reportedly lived with her adult cousins who she accused of “physically assaulting her by grabbing her by the neck, hitting her across the jaw and threatening to beat her if she didn’t get an abortion.” She has gotten a court injunction preventing her family from interfering with her decision, but it expires on January 19 when she is scheduled to go before the judge again to try to have it extended.

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Facebook, Twitter, Google, Wikipedia and more threaten shut down over SOPA bill

ByAsa Hawks

When The House of Representatives meet on January 24 they will be served with a heaping helping of hot potato in the form of the SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) bill. The legislation is aimed at cracking down on copyright infringement and has ruffled the feathers of a coalition of internet giants such as Google, Facebook, Yahoo!, Twitter, Wikipedia, eBay, and more. The coalition is reportedly considering a “nuclear option” that would mean a synchronized shut down that would bring the internet to a virtual halt. Keep reading for more details and links that might have you stockpiling your virtual bomb shelters in preparation for SOPArmageddon!

Teen runaway Jakadrien Turner mistakenly deported to Colombia; found in Bogota pregnant, working as a maid

ByStarcasm Staff

In 2010 14-year-old Jakadrien Turner ran away from home in amidst family turmoil, and ended up being mistakenly deported to Colombia. It’s an incredible story, but that’s reportedly what happened, and she’s now 15, pregnant, and waiting in a detention holding facility after having built a whole different life for herself in Bogota. Now, both nations are trying to figure out exactly what went wrong.

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PHOTO Jason Derulo breaks his neck, cancels concerts

ByAsa Hawks

22-year-old Jason Derulo was rehearsing in Florida for his upcoming world tour when he injured himself performing an acrobatic stunt. The singer landed awkwardly on his head resulting in an acute fracture to his vertebra. Derulo has reportedly been released from Memorial West Hospital in Pembroke Pines, Florida and was able to share a photo wearing his neck brace along with a positive message for fans on his Facebook page.

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Shotgun mom will not be prosecuted, man who survived break in charged with first-degree murder

ByDarren O

Sarah McKinley from Blanchard, Oklahoma will not face any prosecution for shooting, and killing, Justin Shane Martin whom cops allege was attempting to break into her mobile home with a knife. The surviving assailant, Dustin Louis Stewart, was booked on first-degree burglary charges but the District Attorney has upped that to murder first-degree. Read on for the latest in regards to the amazing story of Sarah McKinley.

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VIDEOS Casey Anthony speaks out for first time in strange homemade clips

ByDarren O

The subject of what is arguably the most scrutinized trial in media history, Casey Anthony, has finally decided to speak out! She has sat down with Barbara Walters in front of a web cam and decided to speak candidly about her trial the adoption of a dog and life on probation. See one of the strangest clips ever as Casey talks about not much for almost five minutes.

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MUG SHOT Accomplice of man killed while invading teen mom’s home, trust set up in Sarah McKinley’s name

ByDarren O

In a follow up to the previous unbelievable story of teen mom Sarah McKinley, who shot an invader to protect her 3-month-old son after seeking permission to do so via 911, the name and mug shot have been released of the dead man’s accomplice. Find out what he’s being charged with and how you can help support the young mother who lost her husband to cancer on Christmas day.

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AUDIO Teen mom guns down intruder after seeking permission via 911

ByDarren O

18-year-old Sarah McKinley of Blanchard, Oklahoma shot and killed an intruder to protect her 3-month-old son on New Year’s Eve. Why she was alone and how she ended up killing the man makes this one of the most incredible stories I can recall. Find out the heartbreaking back story about her husband and how she went about seeking permission to defend her baby via 911.

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VIDEO Robert Griffin III td run against Washington in Alamo Bowl 2011

ByAsa Hawks

Baylor quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III continued his amazing run with yet another amazing run against The University of Washington in the 2011 Alamo Bowl! Keep reading to watch the video clip of the green and white gridiron Superman making real life look like a video game as he eludes tackles and sprints for a touchdown!

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VIDEO Clerk forces armed robber to wipe up own blood after delivering fist nap

ByDarren O

Mr. Mostafa Kamal Hendi made a bad decision when he tried to rob the We Buy Gold store in Hendersonville, N.C. The clerk on hand was one Derek Mothershead and dude brought a mother load with a left hook that knocked the armed robber out. When Hendi awoke from his fist nap Derek made him wipe his own blood up with a paper towel before the medics arrived. Clint Eastwood just called and wants his “tough” back!

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MUG SHOT Man tried to shoot wife on Christmas Eve for spending too much time on Facebook

ByDarren O

Harry Hibbs tried to shoot his wife who was holding a child at his home on Christmas Eve because, as he claims, she spent too much time on Facebook. Read on for the crazy details of what turned out to be an extremely dangerous holiday for the family from North Strabane, Pennsylvania.

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Ad executive Madonna Badger lost parents and three daughters in Christmas fire caused by Yule Log

ByStarcasm Staff

47-year-old former Calvin Klein advertising executive Madonna Badger (responsible for the iconic Marky Marky spots) had an unimaginably horrific Christmas.

Christmas Day around 5 a.m. a fire erupted in Madonna Badger’s Stamford, Connecticut house. Madonna and a male friend Michael Borcina were able to escape the burning house, and Madonna climbed onto the roof in a desperate but unsuccessful attempt to save her three children: Lily (10), and twins Sarah and Grace (7.)

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PHOTO The Dark Knight Rises: Occupy Gotham City movie poster

ByAsa Hawks

Warner Brothers released the second trailer for The Dark Knight Rises this week and it appears to have an Occupy Wall Street flair as Catwoman (played by Anne Hathaway) whispers into Bruce Wayne’s ear…

“You think this will last? There’s a storm coming Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches ’cause when it hits you’re all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.”

So… I made a silly movie poster. That’s pretty much it. (It does feature Bane leading a rather lame rally though!)

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VIDEO MUG SHOT Man dies after ingesting cocaine from brother’s buttocks

ByDarren O

Brothers DeAngelo and Wayne Mitchell were pulled over in North Charleston, South Carolina because a headlight was out. This simple twist of fate turned into a tragic evening after Wayne ingested an ounce of cocaine hidden in DeAngelo’s buttocks and died an hour later. See the footage from the patrol car in which DeAngelo convinces Wayne to eat the cocaine and see a mug shot of DeAngelo who’s been charged with involuntary manslaughter.

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MUG SHOTS Robin Pabello and Alexa Polar – CA roomates went on NYC spree, bought a $3.7 million house with $285,000 forgery

ByStarcasm Staff

Thelma and Louise? How about Alexa and Robin!

Alexa Johzen Polar, 34, (a paralegal) and Robin Antonella Pabello, 33 (a school teacher), two L.A. roommates who were deeply in debt but had a taste for travel and the high life, went on a desperate spending spree fueled by forgery. It only lasted a few weeks, but for a while these ladies lived like queens. Now they’re getting a taste of how much stolen money actually costs.

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PHOTO VIDEO Westboro Baptist Church protestor wears a “Glee” shirt

ByAsa Hawks

You just can’t beat a healthy mixture of hate, ignorance, and irony! Check out a Westboro Baptist Church protester sporting a Glee shirt while in Madison, Wisconsin to protest the Presbyterian church there ordaining an openly gay minister. Includes an explanation from the Gleek thanks to the person who took the picture.

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VIDEO MUG SHOT Man records mother-in-law shooting him

ByDarren O

Salvatore Miglino had a premonition things might get tense when he went to pick his 3-year-old son up from his mother-in-law. He decided to record the pre-scheduled pick up with his iPhone and what followed will unquestionably go down in the worst mother-in-law hall of fame record book. See Salvatore’s shocking video that he made with his iPhone that documents his mother-in-law shooting him with a pistol.

Former stray alley cat “Tommaso” inherits $13.3 million from lonely Italian widow

ByStarcasm Staff

Tommaso is a former stray alley cat who now has swagger AND cash. He became the richest cat in the world when his owner Maria Assunta left him $13.3 million when she died. Assunta was the widow of a wealthy Italian property magnate. Under Italian law Assunta couldn’t leave the money directly to the cat (cat’s aren’t very good at writing checks and using credit cards anyway,) so she left it to her nurse Stefania, as the cat’s trustee.

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Why did Lowe’s pull ads for All-American Muslim?

ByDarren O

Home improvement mega-chain Lowe’s is receiving some serious backlash after caving to pressure from the Florida Family Association and removing ads from TLC’s All-American Muslim. Read Lowe’s explanation of their decision, find out why this group would want Lowe’s to pull advertising from the show, see a video of the FFA’s founder David Caton and read part of an angry letter written by a California state Senator in response to what he labeled, “Utter nonsense and religious bigotry.”

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MUG SHOT Fake doctor kills man by injecting penis with silicone

ByDarren O

Coming on the heels of the insane story of fake Dr. Oneal Morris and the transgender’s fix-a-flat butt enhancements we have fake Dr. Kasia Rivera. Rivera was having a “pumping party” and injected silicone into 22-year-old Justin Street’s penis which caused him to die the next day from a silicone embolism.

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MUG SHOT Tulsa woman arrested for cooking meth in a Walmart

ByDarren O

In a move that even Breaking Bad’s Jessie Pinkman wouldn’t try, Alisha Halfmoon of Tulsa, Oklahoma got her cook on at a local Walmart. Get all the details on this insane story that includes Alisha’s full mug, the mixing of starter fluid and sulfuric acid and a police officer who suffered chemical burns from her concoction.

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West Virginia not so wild about MTV’s ‘Buckwild’

ByDarren O

MTV has ordered 12 episodes of a docu-series that will follow the lives of recent high school graduates from West Virginia to be called Buck Wild. While you may think that folks would get excited to hear that MTV would be featuring their state you’d be wrong on this one. Read on for the premise of the show and find out why residents and the state itself ain’t so wild about Buck Wild.

Ramie Marie Grimmer changed her employer to "mat die 2day"
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12-year-old hostage Facebooks “may die 2day” before mother kills her

ByDarren O

In a horribly sad situation 12-year-old Ramie Marie Grimmer Facebook posted “may die 2day” hours before her mother fatally shot her. She and her younger brother were being held hostage at a Laredo, TX social service office after their mother became upset that they were denied food stamps. While being held hostage young Ramie made updates to her Facebook page including the tragically prophetic one.

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VIDEO MythBusters accidentally fire cannonball through neighborhood

ByDarren O

Even experts like MythBusters’ Jamie Hydeman and Adam Savage make mistakes from time to time. The only difference for these dudes is that their accident sent a cannonball hurtling at 1,000ft/s through a concrete wall, over a hill, into and out of a house, across a street, off of a roof, and eventually ending up in a minivan that was parked only minutes previously! See a great local news report about what will have to be the most watched episode in MythBusters’ storied history.

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MUG SHOT What it looks like if you try to rob an ultimate fighter at gun point

ByDarren O

Anthony Miranda, a convicted felon, has learned a valuable lesson the hard way. Never attempt to rob an ultimate fighter at gun point and let your attention stray. When you see his full page mug shot, he looks exactly like he should and that ain’t good! Get the deets on how it was too much greed that really sealed this scumbag’s fate.

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Why I believe Jim Valvano’s legacy and spirit can beat cancer

ByDarren O

Read a recollection of N.C. State’s 1982-83 Men’s Basketball championship team and why I believe through what that team accomplished as led by head coach Jim Valvano that one day we’re gonna beat cancer. Jim said in his unforgettable ESPY speech, “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” His team that accomplished the greatest upset in American sports history personified that ideal and reflected the indomitable spirit of a man with enough guts to believe that he could take cancer head on and make a difference.

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VIDEO ABC’s ‘Work It’ is an unfunny redux of ‘Bosom Buddies’

ByDarren O

Somewhere deep in the halls of the corporate networks very important suits spend hours, day, weeks, even months going over pilot after pilot trying to find that next smash hit. Feelers are put out and through a thoughtful process we are given what they deem to be the best of the best. Having just witnessed the teaser promo for ABC’s comedy Work It I’m left with one question…

What the freak happened here!?! See the promo for “Work It” and decide for yourself if you believe this show is doomed even before its January 3rd premiere.

Oneal Morris victim Rajee Narinesingh photo
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PHOTOS VIDEO Victim of fake Dr. Oneal Morris had face injected with toxic concoction

ByStarcasm Staff

See some stunning photos of Rajee Narinesingh, the latest victim to come forward and admit she received injections from fake doctor Oneal Morris. Morris was arrested last week for practicing medicine without a license after it was revealed she had been injecting a toxic cocktail of cement, Fix-a-Flat, and mineral oil into people’s buttocks, chest, and face. Keep reading for the pictures (including some equally startling “before” photos) as well as a video interview in which Rajee explains why she went to Morris for the injections.

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Dunder Mifflin is a real paper brand now!

ByStarcasm Staff

If you’re like me, the one thing in your life, before now, less-than-perfect was not being able to buy printer paper from the fictional middle-man paper supply company Dunder Mifflin from NBC’s The Office. Now you can, so there’s nothing else to want from life.

Quill.com teamed up with NBC to sell copy paper stamped with the Dunder Mifflin logo. The packaging also includes Dunder Mifflin slogans “Limitless paper in a paperless world” and “Quabity First.” Forget silly T-Shirts, bobbleheads, and buttons, THIS is the product to get a fan of The Office this Christmas.

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VIDEO Full TLC “The Virgin Diaries” TV commercial with… Worst. Kiss. Ever.

ByAsa Hawks

Ever wondered what it would be like if your first kiss didn’t happen when you were 6, but when you were 30 instead? Thanks to the good folks over at the TLC reality show factory we don’t have to wonder what that would have looked like any more! The network aired the first commercial for its upcoming special “The Virgin Diaries” this weekend featuring adult men and women who have been saving themselves for that special someone, including one couple who are refraining from kissing until their wedding day. (Proceed at your own peril and remember, that which is seen cannot be unseen.)