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Dunder Mifflin is a real paper brand now!

If you’re like me, the one thing in your life, before now, less-than-perfect was not being able to buy printer paper from the fictional middle-man paper supply company Dunder Mifflin from NBC’s The Office. Now you can, so there’s nothing else to want from life.

Quill.com teamed up with NBC to sell copy paper stamped with the Dunder Mifflin logo. The packaging also includes Dunder Mifflin slogans “Limitless paper in a paperless world” and “Quabity First.” Forget silly T-Shirts, bobbleheads, and buttons, THIS is the product to get a fan of The Office this Christmas.

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VIDEO Full TLC “The Virgin Diaries” TV commercial with… Worst. Kiss. Ever.

Ever wondered what it would be like if your first kiss didn’t happen when you were 6, but when you were 30 instead? Thanks to the good folks over at the TLC reality show factory we don’t have to wonder what that would have looked like any more! The network aired the first commercial for its upcoming special “The Virgin Diaries” this weekend featuring adult men and women who have been saving themselves for that special someone, including one couple who are refraining from kissing until their wedding day. (Proceed at your own peril and remember, that which is seen cannot be unseen.)

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Woman stole sperm from ex-boyfriend’s condoms to get pregnant at fertility clinic

Joseph Pressil is suing his girlfriend Anetria Burnett because she allegedly took the sperm from their used condoms to a fertility clinic to get in-vitro fertilization. Pressil also alleges that she was trying to get pregnant so she could have possession of his Texas home (Pressil now lives in Long Island), and child support payments.

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Customer pepper sprays 20 at Wal-Mart for Black Friday deals

Tis the season to be jolly insanely aggressive!

Such was the case at a Los Angeles area Wal-Mart where an unidentified woman used pepper spray on 20 other customers just after the plastic wrapping was removed from a video game display containing items on sale. Keep reading for all the “No-el she didn’t!” details!

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Texas judge William Adams, caught on video beating daughter, suspended

When 23-year-old Hillary Adams uploaded a video to YouTube that showed her father beating her with a belt she unleashed a firestorm of anger against the Texas judge. This has resulted in Adams’ suspension from the bench with pay while he is under investigation. Read on for the latest in the saga of Judge William Adams including his battle with his ex-wife for their joint-custody agreement over their other 10-year-old daughter.

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Teen Olivia Ornelas arrested for DUI, blames boyfriend for making her miss Twilight Breaking Dawn premiere

Here’s a valuable piece of dating advice for all the young men out there: NEVER, EVER come between your girl and Twilight! That’s something the boyfriend of 18-year-old Olivia Ornelas of Aurora, Illinois wished he had known Friday night when he chose to not take her to the premiere of Breaking Dawn Part 1. Olivia later arrested after getting drunk and driving her car, which was missing a front tire by the way, into a ditch.

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VIDEOS PHOTOS “Dr.” Oneal Morris arrested for injecting cement and Fix-a-Flat in people’s buttocks

In perhaps the greatest “Badonkadon’t try this at home” story ever, Miami Gardens Police arrested Oneal Morris Friday after he reportedly injected a combination of cement, Fix-a-Flat, and mineral oil into a patient’s rear before sealing up the incisions with Super Glue. Police were made aware of the situation when the patient in question had to be hospitalized for a “serious medical condition as a result of the injections.” See the amazing booking photos of the transgendered Oneal Morris, who has obviously been injecting himself with the same concoction!

Florida woman enlists in Marines to finish what her fallen fiance started

Travis Nelson was just 19-years-old when he died serving his country in Afghanistan. The Marine was killed in action during his first tour, in fact he only had been deployed five weeks and now his fiancee Madeline Cates is joining the Marines to, as she says, “Finish it.” See a local news report about Madeline’s choice, read a letter that Travis wrote in case of his death during service and get her mother’s feelings about her difficult decision.

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Federal report: Birth rate plummets for young women

A detailed finding by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is reporting that the birth rates for young women are historically low. Being a site that reports frequently on Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant and holds firmly to the belief that these shows in no way glorify teen pregnancy these findings make me want to say….. Nanny-nanny-poo-poo! In fairness the correlation between the current recession and this decline is the primary factor cited. There is also one other theory that could be causing this trend; a severe dislike for the Green Bay Packers! Read on for the deets.

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PHOTOS Kris Humphries gets $150,000 endorsement deal for Sector watches

As Kim Kardashian holes up trying to emotionally recover from her traumatic divorce figure out how to quell the public rebellion against her, future ex husband Kris Humphries is using his NBA lock out free time cashing in on his fame while he still can. The 6′ 9″ baller was officially announced as the new spokesman for Sector watches at a ceremony in New York this evening. Keep reading for all the ***yawn*** details as well as a great joke sure to turn up on Leno later tonight.

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VIDEO Miami news reporter Joyce Evans has best sign off ever

Back before she was the co-anchor for Philadelphia’s FOX 29, Joyce Evans was a young reporter workin’ the beat for WCIX in Miami. In a short video clip that has become an internet sensation, Joyce can be seen in 1983 finishing up a report from in front of the Miami Police Department, which is apparently not her favorite place to be. Watch the hilarious clip and then watch the full blooper reel it came from, including more of Joyce as well as her foul-mouthed co-workers at WCIX!

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VIDEO Moving Teen Mom teddy bear ad for MTV Latin America

I stumbled upon this gem of a commercial that was put together by MTV Latin America for Teen Mom. It really is a wonderful and touching spot as it takes the concept of an innocent teddy bear and transforms it into what should be the responsible decision making of a teen mother. See the moving clip that does a fantastic job of symbolizing the tough decisions the girls of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 must make every day.

VIDEO Parent mortified by Kids N Teen store selling crotchless thong panties

A mall store in Greely, Colorado has agreed to stop selling crotchless thong panties after a parent video taped the not-much-there undergarments. So what’s the big deal you ask? Well this store just so happens to be called Kids N Teen! No. I’m not kidding sadly. See the local news report, the cell phone video footage of the knickers in question and the store owner’s incredulous explanation as to why they were on the shelves in the first place.

VIDEO Special needs 14-year-old taunted by teachers

In yet another “what is freaking wrong with people” from the world of bullying, we have 14-year-old student Cheyanne who was verbally teased and insulted by the teachers entrusted with her care. See the news report filed by Today and hear some of the disturbing things said to the young student after she hid a recorder to catch them in the act.

VIDEOS Teens are using “butt chugging” and vodka tampons to get drunk

I feel inadequate, unoriginal, and old when I look back now at my glory days of doing keg stands in the back yard. For each generation it seems that teenagers manage to go next-level in creative means to consume alcohol. According to the following report today’s teens are just bypassing the stomach and going straight for the gusto. How are they doing this? The answer my friends is via vodka tampons and butt chugging according to KPHO out of Phoenix.

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VIDEOS Coonskin cap Carter Johnson tied for greatest eyewitness ever

After watching Antoine Dodson excitedly explain to peeps that they better hide their kids and wife because there was a rapist on the loose I thought to myself, “Never will thine eyes see such an amazing eyewitness again.” That’s right I went all Biblical “thine” with my quote because the following clip of Floridian, yes this is Florida, Carter Johnson and his coonskin cap explaining what happened during a high speed chase changed my life. I have seen the southern truth and it is awash in Dukes of Hazzard and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and has thusly equaled the greatness that will always be Dodson.

Real Life Mrs. Robinson: Ex-Mayor Linda Lusk blames sex with daughter’s 14-year-old boyfriend on depression from death of son with genetic disorder

ABC is taking a strange angle in their reporting of an adult-child sexting scandal. 49-year-old former Mayor of Prosser, Washington Linda Lusk was caught sexting (even a sending pic of herself in her bra) to her teenage daughter Carly’s 14-year-old ex-boyfriend Bubba. Linda and her husband Kevin are explaining the dirty text messages by blaming it on Linda’s depression after the death of her son Taylor, who passed away after living for 15 years with the crippling genetic disorder Trisomy 13.

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MUG SHOTS Women cut man over 300 times in bloody, sexual satanic ritual

An unnamed 18-year-old man from Phoenix, Arizona put himself on a bus and rode all the way to Wisconsin to meet with Rebecca Chandler (22) of Milwaukee. He met her online and what happened to him at first seemed like an okay deal until things went way wrong. Wrong as in 300 wounds, bloody satanic ritual wrong. Read on for the bloody details and see the two cringe worthy mug shots of the alleged cutters.

VIDEO Teacher Cindy Clifton charged with having sex with 11 students + mug shot photos

Tipton, Tennessee middle school teacher Cindy Clifton was charged with 14 counts of rape by an authority figure after a three-month investigation determined she allegedly had sex with 11 teenage students. The sexual encounters reportedly took place at her Covington, Tennessee home where she would supply alcohol to her teenage daughter and friends. Clifton faces 53 total charges and will be arraigned on Thursday. Keep reading for a video report and Clifton’s tearful mug shot photos after her arrest.

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MUG SHOT Face melted meth maker busted making meth again

I wonder what Breaking Bad’s methamphetamine producing perfectionist Walter White would think of Heather Raybon from Milton, Florida? In 2004 Heather had her face darn near melted off during a meth lab explosion but she was back at it cooking again and police busted her at her mobile home while searching for a different fugitive.

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Joe Paterno announces retirement amid molestation scandal

Joe Paterno is the winningest coach in top level college football history but his legacy will now forever be tarnished by the molestation scandal that has rocked Penn State University. Read his official statement and let us know if you believe he failed what police called a, “moral obligation,” to inform them of what he knew about long time assistant coach Jerry Sandusky.

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VIDEO Women collapse in court after being sentenced to life for murder of 3-year-old

Erica Mae Butts and Shanita Latrice Cunningham both 25 from Summerville, South Carolina, were sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of beating three-year-old Serenity Richardson to death. What followed was a courtroom calamity as both women collapsed and had to be wheeled out by court officials.

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PHOTOS New Boy Scout ad campaign depicts boys with beards

Hipsters and lazy bloggers beware, the realm of full grown Amish style beards are no longer your sole property! In a print ad campaign masterminded by creative group Ogilvy & Mather we are shown four sparkling young boys looking off valiantly into the frontier with graphically imposed beards on their countenances. It’s as if these images are saying, “Yonder I see truth and adventure so why do I look like a prepubescent Zach Galifianakis!?!” Check ’em out here and “Be One With the Wild!”

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Judge William Adams has opinions on TV and inmates too

Judge William Adams is arguably the most despised person on the internet following a video showing him violently beating and berating his disabled daughter. I was able to dig up an old article from 1999 that shines a little more light on Bill’s general attitude to his fellow man. This time the ones in his sights are inmates, TV, and bland prison food. Read on to fall further in love with William.

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MUG SHOT 83-year-old male prostitute busted neck kissin’

In these difficult financial times a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Even if this means turning to the world’s oldest profession as an octogenarian male prostitute. Deuce Bigalow, this is your future sir!

Find out how Mr. Ben Clifford Dawson got busted in this episode of Law & Order AARP.

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VIDEO Texas family law judge savagely beats disabled daughter

I’ve had to report on a lot of horrible parenting here but nothing I’ve ever seen has outraged me as much as the following brutal and unjustifiable clip. Judge William Adams from Texas, a man who serves in a public seat of judgment is shown beating his daughter, who suffers from Cerebral Palsy, with a belt in a rage-filled scene. Her mother joins in berating her verbally and physically and to hear both of their pathetic excuses now will make your blood boil.

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“The pinnacle of ingenuity and innovation”? Australia issues $1 million coin made with $55 million worth of gold

Perth Mint chief executive Ed Harbuz calls it “the pinnacle of ingenuity and innovation,” but this idea sounds crazy silly to me.

Australia’s Perth Mint had produced a $1 million (in Australian currency) coin made almost entirely of gold (99.99% to be exact.) The weight? A ton. This is a $1 million coin that’s made of a ton of gold. When you think for a minute how high gold is these days, logic starts to deconstruct.

VIDEO MTV to air “True Life: I’m Occupying Wall Street” November 5

MTV has announced it will be airing True Life: I’m Occupying Wall Street on November 5 at 6pm. The one-hour documentary will feature embedded cameras with three Millennials – Bryan, Kait and Caitlin – “over a two-week period to capture the day-to-day realities of the protesters in New York City. The special aims to uncover some of the motivations that continue to drive these protesters.” Keep reading to watch a five-minute-plus preview clip featuring Bryan’s struggles to keep the City from evicting the protesters for sanitary issues.

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PHOTOS Top 10 dog costumes at 2011 Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade

Every year hundreds of peeps and pooches gather together in Tompkins Square Park in New York City with their furry four-footed friends dressed to the ca-nines in their Halloween best for the annual Halloween Dog Parade. This year featured a fine field of five hundred or so entrants with Howl-oween looks that ranged from a rat-infested subway car to Lady Gaga. So of course we had to do a Top 10 list!

Woman stomachs husband’s poop to save her life

“I’d heard of intercourse, but I’d never heard of ‘pooper-course.'” These are the words Pat Shoop, who suffered from a rare bacterial infection known as Clostridium difficile infection, used following a procedure that cured her and saved her life. This procedure, called a “fecal transplant,” involved her husband of 53 years Bob’s bowels and… Forget it, you just have to read this, if you can take it!

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MUG SHOTS Virginia couple plead guilty in drywall child abuse case

When Christina Dawn Moore, 27, and John Michael Robey, 34, “needed a break” from their three young daughters they decided they would barricade them in a room by nailing up a large sheet of drywall in the doorway. Read on for this sad story, the mother’s history of child neglect and how a neighbor was responsible for making sure this didn’t turn out much worse.

Gaddafi is dead

Reuters has confirmed that recently ran out of town Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has been killed. Read on for the brief deets and see why I’m waiting on a particular American on a 4-wheeler to respond until I know it’s for sure.

Couple married 72 years passed away together holding hands

Get your handkerchiefs out as I relay to you one of the most beautiful and life affirming stories I’ve come across while working as a blogger. Gordon and Norma Yeager were inseparable in their 72 years of marriage and it was no different last week as they passed away within one hour of each other holding hands. Read the heartfelt recollection of the day from their son as well as their official obituary.

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MUG SHOT VIDEO Father selects 9-year-old daughter as designated driver

Shawn Weimer of Brownston Township had too much whiskey and was at a parental crossroads when he came up with a brilliant plan. He decided to wake up his 9-year-old daughter to drive him to a convenience store in his A-Team inspired full panel work van. See the video from the gas station that includes Weimer bragging about his brilliant idea while his DD daughter munches on a candied apple. Mug shot included as well his unbelievable defense and his daughter’s priceless reaction to being pulled over.

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MUG SHOT Homeless haunted maze employee arrested for sexual battery

28-year-old Joshua James Stueckle was taken into custody following an alleged incident with a 16-year-old that happened at a Caldwell, Idaho public park. Stueckle is a homeless man living out of an area park that was employed at a local attraction, Haunted World. Police were told by the owner of the business of his schedule when he was asked for information and the cops showed up just after his shift around midnight to arrest him for sexual battery of a 16-year-old female. What resulted is one of the more disturbing mug shots on record.

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VIDEO Celebrity hacker is relieved that he got caught

Christopher Chaney of Jacksonville, Florida is speaking out following his arrest for hacking into and distributing private images of Hollywood stars like Scarlett Johansson and Vanessa Hudgens. The FBI had been on the trail of Chaney for months in what they called “Operation Hackerazzi” and they landed their man. Cheney could face up to 121 years in Federal prison for his crimes. I assumed it had to be bad for Christopher when the FBI had a freaking operation name just for finding him.

Teen mom caught on video smothering baby pleads guilty to new charges

Shantaniqua Scott pleaded guilty yesterday to charges of aggravated assault after trying to smother her infant son in Waco, Texas. Scott is already serving a 25-year sentence for committing similar crimes in Fort Worth after being caught on camera committing this same heinous act. See the disturbing video, find out why doctors were suspicious of Scott, and discover a helpful resource if you’re a young mother who’s struggling to cope.

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VIDEO PHOTOS Icelandic beauty queen that busted Whitey Bulger

Whitey Bulger was #1 on the F.B.I.’s Most Wanted List until he got busted at the age of 81 living in Santa Monica, California with his long time girlfriend. His legacy was larger than life back in Boston and since his arrest, the Robin Hood figure has been indicted for 19 murders. His apprehension made national headlines and now the woman, Anna Bjornsdottir, who was finally able to identify Whitey has received her 2 million dollar award for leading the authorities to Bulger. Anna was a former Icelandic beauty queen, model and b-list movie actress and I’ve dug up some vintage video and images to extrapolate just how strange it is that this lady of all people was the one who brought down Whitey.

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Man assaults wife for not liking his Facebook status

Just a heads up to anyone out there who is a friend of Benito Apolinar of Pecos, Texas – if he posts a status update on Facebook, make sure you click “like!” The 36-year-old Benito reportedly showed up drunk at his estranged wife’s house and attacked her because she never responded to his Facebook status update recognizing the anniversary of his mother’s passing.

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VIDEO Father records son’s shock at Star Wars reveal

If you’re of a certain age (raising hand slowly) then you may have a memory of what your reaction was when you first discovered ( WARNING: Decades old spoiler!!!) that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father. In an already goin’ viral clip a dad with some Jedi like Star Wars foresight recorded his 4-year-old boy Faris watching this very scene and his reaction is priceless. Check it out!

VIDEO Woman born deaf hears her own voice for very first time

Swimming around in the muck and mire that is celebridom sometimes I need a serious recalibration of my humanity. The following video delivered that as we see a 29-year-old woman who was born deaf hearing her voice clearly for the very first time. Her husband filmed this beautiful and life-affirming clip. Warning, you better have some tissue ready!

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Chris Christie Livingston High School yearbook photos, SGA “speech”

It’s beginning to sound more and more like dynamic Republican orator and current governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, will be tossing his hat into the ring for the 2012 Presidential race. If that is the case, most analysts assume he will have no problem gaining the GOP nomination and will be pitted against Obama next November. Ummmm… I’m not sure what the segue is but we have photos of a younger, slightly trimmer Chris Christie from his 1980 Livingston High School yearbook! Also, as president of SGA, Christie wrote an open letter to the student body that was included in the yearbook and transcribed for you here! (We still haven’t managed to find his birth certificate though. Hmmm…)

Jamey Rodemeyer still being bullied after suicide

The tragic suicide of 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer has garnered national attention after it was discovered the young man had posted an “It Gets Better” video to encourage other kids in his situation to keep their heads up. Lady Gaga has taken up his cause and now his parents are trying to do something about the bullying that took their son’s life.

In an interview with Today they revealed that even in death, he continues to be bullied. This revelation took me by surprise, as that level of angst and intolerance is hard to comes to grip with or even understand.

Plastic surgery nightmare! Woman gets ‘uni-boob’ and eyes that won’t close

Dinora Rodriguez (40) of L.A. is left with a nightmare body after a boob job blunder and an eye job she didn’t ask for! The Daily Mail reports that plastic surgeons cut two pockets of breast tissue while replacing Rodriquez’s former breast implants, which allowed the new breast implants to touch, creating the “uniboob” look. Rodriquez also received a “surprise” eye job that prevents her eyes from ever fully closing.

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MUG SHOT Don’t rob a gas station with a clear plastic mask

I figured I’d ease in to this Monday with another “Adventures From Florida” post. This time our sunshine state lady is 19-year-old Wilnelia Caraballo, who waltzed into a Kangaroo convenience store in Palm Bay, FL and tried to rob the place donning a clear plastic mask while brandishing a toy machine gun.

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Police open criminal investiagtion into suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer

14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer tragically committed suicide after suffering at the hands of bullies. His story has become a national one due in part to the “It Gets Better” video he posted just months before he took his own life. It’s rekindled a fire for supporters of anti-bullying legislation and now police are looking into a specific group of students who could be responsible for the vast amount of bullying Jamey suffered. Read on for the details of the investigation and to hear Lady Gaga’s response to Jamey’s heartbreaking video in which he identified the singer as a beacon of hope.

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10 celebrity Twitter reactions to Troy Davis execution

The execution of Troy Davis last night gripped the nation as seemingly everyone was tuned in to see what would happen following the stay granted by the State of Georgia giving time for the Supreme Court to review a last minute request that was eventually denied. Read ten celebrity / pundit Twitter reactions to the news that reflect many different opinions about what happened last night.

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VIDEO PHOTOS Florida teenager one ups Swamp People by reeling in 800lb alligator with fishing rod

I think the Guist brothers of Swamp People have some competition as Florida teenager Tim Stroh reeled in an 800lb 12′ behemoth alligator with… His bass fishing rod! See photos of Tim with his catch of a lifetime and see a video report filed by an area news station.

VIDEO Man pretends to shoot firefighter in rookie hazing gone wrong

The Macon Bibb Fire Department is currently investigating a hoax involving what appeared to be a masked and armed man scaring the absolute crap out of rookie members of Fire Station 108. In the following clip that will sure to become a, “What not to do when you’re hazing” training video, a masked man rampages the station wielding a gun and pretends to shoot a hostage.

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VIDEO Must see Chuck Testa taxidermy ad from ‘Commercial Kings’

In May 2011, Ojai Valley Taxidermy and Chuck Testa were selected to take part in the reality TV show from IFC called Commercial Kings. The show involves YouTube stars Rhett and Link creating a commercial for the business. What they came up with certainly backs the show’s name as this clip will surely go down as one of the best local ads you’ll ever see.

Bonus: See a behind the scenes clip of Testa giving Rhett and Link a taxidermy lesson.

Remembering 9/11 ten years later

As I’m sure most all of our readers are aware, today marks the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks that took thousands of innocent American lives and brought our nation together in a moment of collective mourning. Most everyone remembers where they were that day, and I thought I might share my story of watching the attacks on television from a hospital room with my family, which included my niece born the day before.

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PHOTOS Toddlers & Tiaras mom defends daughter’s Pretty Woman prostitute costume

Wendy Dickey, the mother of the 3-year-old girl featured on Toddlers & Tiaras wearing a prostitute costume based on Julia Roberts’ character from the film Pretty Woman, is speaking out against the criticisms she received for dressing her daughter in that manner. Keep reading for her defenses and to see little Paisley dressed as the post-transformation Julia Roberts – something TLC edited out.

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VIDEO Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong booted from plane for saggy pants

Green Day front man Billie Joe Armstrong was kicked off of a Southwest Airlines flight from Oakland to Burbank Thursday night for wearing his pants too low. (No joke!) Keep reading for a video report, an eyewitness account, Billie Joe’s shocked reaction, and Southwest Airlines’ quick apology!

VIDEO Four charged in Sarasota youth ‘footbrawl’

I am a devoted football fan and I will yell obscenities at a TV screen for hours over perceived bad calls. I thought I had issues but some players and coaches for the Sarasota Gators, a youth team featuring 13 and 14-year-old boys, went next level as they threw water bottles at and physically beat referee Jayme Ream. See the clip of the brawl, find out who’s been arrested and see a response from the ref.

VIDEO Florida father beats 16-year-old in arranged backyard fight

35-year-old Gary Johnson Jr. has been charged with the beating of a 16-year-old boy in a caught-on-video street fight involving the victim and Johnson’s son. See the video and find out the tragic circumstances behind this horrible incident including the sad fact that Johnson had arranged the fight at his own home between the victim and his son to make sure the fight was “fair.”