I will get a tattoo of the face of any Hollywood script-writer who will make a fecal transplant the high point moment of a survival love story. This is not BS, I am not crapping you. I will do it.
In fact, you wouldn’t even have to be very creative because you could just base your work on the real life story of Pat and Bob Shoop from Minnetonka, Minnesota. You see Pat (seen above) became seriously ill with what doctors call a Clostridium difficile infection. The abbreviated name of the bacterial infection is called C. diff and it was kicking Pat’s rear end, literally.
This is no joke actually, as terrible cases of C diff can be life threatening. It causes severe diarrhea, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting and usually comes back time and time again, resisting most treatments. So what did the doctors do to eventually cure Pat? They took some of her husband’s stool and transferred it to her gut. That’s right. The Shoops swapped poop.
Why!?!?!?!!?!??!!?!??!!?!?!?!? Well there’s a medical reason of course as explained via MSNBC:
Once transplanted, the healthy fecal bacteria help restore balance to the patient’s bowels. C. diff infections typically develop after the intestinal flora is disturbed, usually by overuse of certain antibiotics. For most of the last decade, fecal transplants have been regarded as something of a fringe treatment by outsiders, but as a viable treatment by doctors who see desperate C. diff patients every day.
The Shoops have been married now for over 52 years and when it came time for Bob to deliver he was prepared having eaten chocolate, wine and steak. When it was time for Bob to Shoop-poop-swoop into action he and his backside were ready and made brown. The couple left their hotel room along with Bob’s Mr. Hankey and rushed to the hospital where…
SERIOUSLY GROSS HEADS UP!!!!
… a tube was snaked through Pat’s nose to her stomach and Bob’s brown was transferred. She was told she would smell it
butt but not taste it. And she did and she didn’t. The procedure happened on a Thursday and by Sunday she felt better and was able to go home. Pat believes she would have died without the procedure and tells friends, “Now I’m disgustingly normal.”
I’d like to dedicate the following video to Pat and Bob for their willingness to take their love to a level deeper than most could ever understand:
I want you to remember Bob and Pat the next time you brag about how you’d do “anything” for your significant other because some dudes in white may just rob your bowels for ’em! As Pat stated, “I’d heard of intercourse, but I’d never heard of ‘pooper-course.'”
Also, can’t help but recall Louis C.K.’s made-up (but serious) condition in the first season of his show: “myocardial defecation.” This fictional diagnosis is poop on the heart, and is usually caused by a bad marriage.