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Tasty Peeps: Indifferent high school kid

I invite you to meet our inaugural “tasty peep,” indifferent high school kid. Kid Rock visited Romeo High School in Detroit yesterday to donate $5,000 to the arts department and to kick it with students enrolled in the music program. Some of the kids went crazy when he was introduced but not our man. He knew it was gonna be a Detroit homer like Kid Rock the whole time even if others thought it was going to be Justin Bieber.

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VIDEOS Sergio Ramos drops Copa del Ray cup in front of a bus, trophy crushing ensues

In a scene right out of a Will Ferrell movie, Real Madrid soccer player Sergio Ramos was hoisting his team’s trophy for winning the Spanish football equivalent of the World Series when the Copa del Rey cup slipped from his hands and fell to the ground in front of the bus the team was riding on and was then run over. As you would expect, the epic boobery was caught on camera and has since made its way to youtube in numerous incarnations.

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Parody Song: Tornado Hamburger Blues

The most recent gone viral video hitting the internet is of Mr. Eric Hubbard who claims to have had his hamburger stolen by a tornado that struck his hometown in Mississippi. We recently posted the video with a partial transcript but now there’s already a parody song called “Tornado Hamburger Blues.” Check it out with lyrics and for goodness sake hold onto your hamburger, drink and fries folks!

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VIDEO Tornado does Hamburglar impersonation

Part of the transcript from the news report video you will be watching:

Hubbard: I was scared. I was fixing to eat a hamburger and it took it! And I don’t even know where it’s at.

Pace: (incredulous) It took the hamburger right out of your hand?

Hubbard: Hamburger, fries and drink. I don’t know where it’s at.

Might as well watch it now because eventually you’re gonna see this one. As a bonus the reporter Meg Pace was kind enough to give us an update!

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Funny Or Die: “Black Friday” Rebecca Black overdoses on Werther’s Originals with Sammy Hagar

It wouldn’t be Friday without a post about Rebecca Black. Nor would it be April 1st without a hilarious video from the guys at Funny or Die. But I’m sorry, there’s nothing funny about Rebecca Black overdosing on candy. And Sammy Hagar is right when he says “Friday” is the greatest song ever written. What’s the joke here?

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PHOTOS MTV “Sex is no accident” safe sex PSA cartoons

As if the mind-blowing drama and stress portrayed on shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom wasn’t a bold enough public service announcement for safe sex, the folks at MTV in Germany have created these hilarious comic book inspired ads with the slogan, “Sex is no accident. Always use a condom.”

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Charlie Sheen parody song “That’s What Sheen Said”

It was inevitable that #winning Charlie Sheen would begin to have parody songs popping up across the internet landscape. Well here at Starcasm we’re fortunate to have a fan who’s sent in his second video, this time addressing all of this Charlie Sheen mess. Take a listen to “That’s What Sheen Said” based on the country standard “Honky Tonk Man” popularized by Dwight Yoakam.

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PHOTO Charlie Sheen self-portrait statue unveiled!

Charlie Sheen told us he has magic and poetry in his fingertips (even when he naps) and now there’s proof! In addition to being an F-18, a tiger, a Vatican assassin and a drug (Methamphetasheen?) Gnarly Charlie is also a world class artist. Keep reading to see an exclusive photo of Gnarly Charlie’s marble self-portrait titled “Adonis.”

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VIDEO Jimmy Fallon presents WINNING for Men by Charlie Sheen

Ever wonder what success smells like? It smells like Charlie Sheen! (Which is a mixture of cigarette smoke, cocaine, sweat and lots of nekkid women that know what they’re doing – and what they’re doing is… Charlie Sheen!)

Late Night host Jimmy Fallon is the latest to jump on board the Charlie Sheen insanitrain with a commercial for Winning for Men cologne. Keep reading for one of the best Charlie Sheen impersonations ever!

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Democracy denied: Fort Wayne building will not be named after Harry Baals

Harry Baals’ legacy dangles over the city of Fort Wayne, Indiana like the Sword of Testiclese. As a show of respect to their former mayor the city’s citizens cast their votes online to name the newest government building “The Harry Baals Government Center” in his honor, but area officials are a little teste about the proposal.

See the report filed by an area news team that delves deep into the family Baals’ past, uncovering a disputed manner in which to pronounce Harry Baals’ surname. So is it the Baals that rhymes with fails or the Baals that rhymes with falls? Turns out both are right!

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Jenelle Evans “Haters Gonna Hate” animated gif

This goes out to Jenelle Evans, the belligerent 19-year-old Teen Mom 2 star with an uncanny knack for riling feathers and eliciting anger with her reckless actions and reluctance to accept the responsibilities that go along with being a single mom. Seeing those photos of her walking back from McDonald’s elicited a small amount of sympathy in this blogger’s heart so I thought I might take a moment this Sunday to empathize with her rebellious spirit.

Come tomorrow I will get right back to reporting on whatever the latest ridiculous dramatic mess Jenelle has talked or walked her way into.

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Michael Douglas photobombed wife Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes

Not only was Michael Douglas celebrating the good news that his tumor is gone, but he scored probably the best moment of the entire 2011 Golden Globes ceremonies when he photobombed two of the most gorgeous women in Hollywood (one of whom is his wife, lucky guy.) “Hai! We’re smug A-list hotties wearing green, and…

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VIDEO Lacrosse halftime show features a lap dance contest

At Saturday night’s home opener for the Boston Blazers, a professional lacrosse team, the halftime festivities included a sexually supercharged promotion. Three ladies in heels and short skirts lined up and took turns performing lap dances on the team’s mascot Scorch in a too hot for the jumbotron adult contest. What!?!

Yes, there is video and yes there were many children in attendence.

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VIDEO Muppets perform Kanye West’s “Monster” (explicit)

Kanye West has often complained that people don’t get his music. Thanks to this Youtube video I’m beginning to think that it’s not Kanye or his music’s fault but people’s, because it seems obvious that muppets completely get it! Probably because they were raised on the street…

Sesame Street that is!

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VIDEO Josh Groban sings Kanye West tweets on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Another miner has struck gold in the hills of Kanye West’s tweets! Following in the footsteps of the memetastic New Yorker cartoons with Kanye tweets as captions and the addictive process of Kanye tweet Tracy Jordanization achieved by adding “Liz Lemon” before each of Kanye’s literary gems is “Oscar and Grammy nominee” Josh Groban, who has recorded 752 songs of Kanyeisms on 48 CDs – all of which with lyrics containing 140 characters or less!

Keep reading for the emotionally moving commercial and order your Josh Grobanye today!

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Robert De Niro making funny faces for soft-core ‘Sam’s Song’

Legendary actor Robert De Niro recently stated that he enjoyed working on a soft-core film called “Sam’s Song.” The film, from ’69 of course, features a mind blowingly mustached De Niro cavorting around with a hot young blond. Read De Niro’s comments about the role and the full SFW version of the film right here!

Bonus: See arguably the best funny face gallery in existence that I was able to pull from the film. It may just overtake “Sad Keanu” as the new viral image trend!

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Hugh Jackman hit in the sack by Elizabeth Hurley’s alleged lover!

Things have not been going well lately for super talent Hugh Jackman. Wolverine was recently in the news for a well publicised injury suffered while repelling during a stunt for Oprah Winfrey’s visit to Australia. So what could be worse than that type of public stunt FAIL? How about a direct shot to Hugh Jackman’s sack-man in a cricket pitch from Elizabeth Hurley’s alleged lover Shane Warne!?!

That’s right! Take time to prepare yourself for the emotional impact of seeing a crotch shot impact happen down under to the man from the land down under!

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PHOTOS Top 5 Tron: Legacy character mashups

In honor of the release of the much-anticipated Tron: Legacy featuring Jeff Bridges reprising his cultastic role as Kevin Flynn from the original 1982 Disney classic and co-starring beautiful people Garrett Hedlund as Kevin Flynn’s son Sam Flynn and Olivia Wilde as Quorra, I thought I might put together a list of the top five characters Disney could have chosen to be in the sequel.

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VIDEOS Jersey Shore’s Vinny spoofs Old Spice ad plus an extended season 3 trailer

Starcasm has been a huge fan of Old Spice’s “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” commercials since the very first one appeared over the TV airwaves. We’ve also shown mad love for all the would be reality starts hustling down along the Jersey Shore. Well two of our pop-culture worlds have collided as Vinny Guadagnino from JS has thrown down with his own Isaiah Mustafa impersonation in a spot for MTV!

Bonus: Catch a fantastic extended trailer for season 3 set to begin on January 6th.

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VIDEO The Black Swan and Showgirls trailer mash up

Chalk this one up to glorious inevitability! It’s the audio from The Black Swan movie trailer with video from Showgirls, the kitschy cult classic jiggle flick from 1995 starring Elizabeth Berkley, Kyle MacLachlan and Gina Gershon as Las Vegas showgirls. I guess it could be called The Black Swangirls.”

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PHOTO Natalie Portman as The Swan Queen Amidala or “The Black Swanidala”

A long time ago, in a dance studio far far away…

No story here just the silly product of a boring Saturday, the internet and Photoshop. I was going to call this The Queen Black Swanidala but that was before I did a little research and realized Mila Kunis actually plays The Black Swan in the movie – Natalie is The Swan Queen. See, you actually learned something! Or were at least reminded of something you already knew.

VIDEO: Camel falls into crowd during Christmas play

I learned a few things from the following video:

A) You can rent camels in Florida
B) Churches use real live camels in Christmas plays
D) Camels have cute names like Lulabelle

Rent-a-camel Lulabelle falls into a church crowd during a rehearsal for a Christmas play at a Florida church. We couldn’t make this stuff up folks!

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VIDEO Jimmy Fallon and Paul McCartney perform “Scrambled Eggs” to the tune of “Yesterday”

Paul McCartney has often told the story of how he used the words “scrambled eggs” as a placeholder until the final lyrics of “Yesterday” were complete. Sir Paul was on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last night and Jimmy talked him into performing the song with the original edible lyrics as well as a few add-ons. The result? Hilarity!

(No, Jimmy wasn’t singing like Neil Young. Awwwwww….)

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PHOTO Grizzly bear uses a soft shoulder sign as a back scratcher

In a brand new, completely re-imagined interpretation of “bear trap” a grizzly bear in Denali National Park in Alaska looks downright enticing while scratching an itch on a soft shoulder road sign. See the cute picture as well as another photo with a more subtly appropriate street sign back scratcher!

Woman wears bikini to LAX to avoid TSA pat down

It seems like everyone in America has an opinion in regards to the new TSA pat down procedures taking place at airports nationwide. Whether you’re on the side of added security or feel that the whole thing is an overload government abomination, I think we can all agree that the following lady has the perfect solution: Wear a sexy little bikini in hopes that you can avoid the security frisking!

Keep reading to see multiple video interviews at LAX and see multiple bikini shots of Corinne Theile – America’s latest airline hero!

VIDEO: Cars and a bus struggle during Seattle’s recent snow storm

In a late nomination for this particular blogger’s amateur YouTube video of the year a videographer finds himself in a prime location during the recent snow storm in Seattle. During this almost 6 minute clip car after car after car and then a big ol’ City bus lose traction and slide down a steep and icy John St. on Capitol Hill.

Check it out and say you were one of the first million to see what is sure to become a viral classic!

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PHOTO Guess the Caption – Gay Pride edition

See if you can guess the actual caption for this photo!

A. New poster for the “No Urin8t” campaign

B. “You be Darth Vader, I’ll be Luke Skywalker. OK… Go!”

C. “Nice dangling Spartaciple”

D. Never whip it out without a Trojan

E. Brokeback Fountain

F. Two men urinate during a Gay Pride Parade on Copacabana beach in Rio De Janeiro November 14, 2010.

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PHOTO Mel Gibson ‘The Beaver’ movie poster

The release of Mel Gibson’s film The Beaver, featuring the controversial star and a beaver hand puppet, has been put on hold indefinitely thanks the leaked enraged voice mails and phone calls Mel made to girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. But, that didn’t stop the production company from putting up this promotional poster at The American Film Market recently! Keep reading to see the full poster as well as additional starcasm.net exclusive versions!

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Never mind the buttocks here’s Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian is recording an album. Before all of you start covering up your ears in horror try to look on the bright side and realize that this will inevitably result in music videos. Did that still not help? Yeah I’m pretty inconsolable about the whole idea too.

Check out a brief video of Kim K singing with Jimmy Fallon at the 2010 Emmy’s and then read our title and track listing suggestions for her debut including “In the Derriere Tonight” feat. Phil Collins and “Rears in Heaven” feat. Eric Clapton.

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Celebs encourage voting with “10 Minutes” Funny or Die shorts

Funny or Die, the popular comedy video site created by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, has rolled out a video called “10 Minutes” to help encourage younger voters to get out and cast their ballots during the upcoming mid-term elections.

Find out which celebs are involved in the campaign and watch the video in which a list of tasks that take longer than it does to vote are provided included searching for Charlie Sheen hooker scandal updates. Busted!

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VIDEO – SNL Brett Favre Wrangler commericial rips off “Wangler” YouTube video

Last night SNL had a kind-of funny video spoofing Brett Favre and his notorious privates using a Wrangler commercial. He’s the official spokesman for the new crotchless variety, and is seen playing awkward football with his buds while wearing them: It looks like SNL probably got their idea from this Cheap Shots YouTube video featuring…

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VIDEOS: Ugly Dance World Cup 2010

The ten finalists are now set for the Ugly Dance World Cup 2010 that will go down in Germany tomorrow. Check out the amazing video submissions from the best in the world or at least Western Europe at dancing terribly. They are ready to prove that their inabilities will far undershine all their adversaries led feet and jelly knees. Rhythm is not welcome here, choreography is a sin and you better not even think about reminding the judges of Usher or even The Situation for that matter!

Fox 4 in Dallas parodies Social Media journalism, wins

A rather funny group of news anchors at a Dallas Fox affiliate made good use of their downtime with this cute riff on social media (take note, CNN!). They poke fun at the usual suspects: Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Skype, YouTube, 4square, etc. It’s more laugh-inducing by far than most Saturday Night Live skits, although the…

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PHOTO Sad Keanu Reeves and sad Sean Penn in drag

I wasn’t planning on joining in on the sad Keanu Reeves meme and I wasn’t planning on posting any more photos of Sean Penn looking like a brunette Phyllis Diller, but much like the invention of Reese’s Cups, the collision of the two was undeniably awesome.

Hey, you got transvestite Sean Penn in my sad Keanu Reeves!

Oh yeah? Well you got sad Keanu Reeves in my transvestite Sean Penn!

(Together) Mmmmmmm… That’s good!

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PHOTOS The Zach Galifianakis Swimsuit Calendar by Vanity Fair

To kick off their monthly “Vanities” section Vanity Fair “features an up-and-coming actor with a hotly anticipated project in the pipeline” and for November they chose comedian Zach Galifianakis.

Never one for subtlety or not being funny, Zach did his best Roseanne Barr impersonation by pouring his Venus of Willendorf frame into a crimson retro-style woman’s swimsuit. The result is almost not funny.

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VIDEO Banksy does The Simpsons intro and couch gag

One of the most sacred motifs in the history of network television was handed over to one of the most subversive and notorious artists in the history of art as graffiti guru Banksy was given the reigns of the opening sequence of The Simpsons! See the insanely dark take on the age-old couch gag and find out a little bit more about the subversively clever genius of Banksy!

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VIDEO PHOTOS Isaiah Mustafa as Avenger Luke Cage

The man your man could smell like is now the super hero your man could smell like thanks to the latest installment of “Marvel Super Heroes: What The–?!”

Watch as Isaiah Mustafa assumes the identity of Avenger Luke Cage and takes a stroll through Avengers Tower with guest appearances from some of Marvel’s less awesome characters! (Includes a transcript)

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PHOTO Naked Bret Michaels on the cover of Billboard magazine

To promote his new reality series Life As I Know It Poison frontman Bret Michaels disgraces the cover of the October 2, 2010 issue of Billboard magazine wearing nothing more than his patented handkerchief headband and jewelry. Find out more about Bret’s latest foray into reality television and see our exclusive LIMITED EDITION naked Bret Michaels Billboard magazine cover trouser trout censoring stickers collection!

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VIDEO Sesame Shore from Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Jimmy Kimmel Live continues the adulteration of Sesame Street by smooshing it with Jersey Shore to create Sesame Shore! Click to watch the hilarious video parody that includes a Snooki Monster, a hot tub duet and a concise diagram illustrating the difference between a grenade and a land mine!

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VIDEO Ryan from ‘The Office’ launches WUPHF.com website

You heard The Office‘s former ‘Temp’ Ryan talk about it last season and you saw him promoting it via apparel screen printation in the viral lip dub video and now it’s finally a reality! From the MBA mastermind and subject of Billy Joel’s classic tune “Ryan Started The Fire,” the world is now in possession of…

WUPHF!

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Lindsay Lohan’s train wreck wrist watch

Perpetual hot mess Lindsay Lohan has an unbelievably packed schedule thanks to numerous court-mandated alcoholics anonymous meetings, parties, gun-toting photoshoots, hanging out in prison, drug tests, tweeting, fighting her father, and so on, and so on.

Realizing that she isn’t the only train wreck with a tight schedule, LiLo has designed a wrist watch to help those like herself keep track of time!

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VIDEO Sesame Street True Blood parody ‘True Mud’

The creative team behind the beloved children’s show Sesame Street must be trying to hone in on the much-coveted 18-49 year old demographic because they are following up their “racy” Katy Perry berries “Hot and Cold” Elmo duet with their take on True Blood!

That’s right, the notoriously violent and sexually charged vampire series is getting the Sesame Street treatment in the form of “True Mud.” Watch the video and chime in on whether or not you think a True Blood parody is appropriate for children.

Panhandler enters Guinness Crook of World Records

Darryl Marlow was arrested this morning for panhandling outside a Chicago night club. What makes this story notable is the number of times Mr. Marlow has been incarcerated. I’ll give you a hint, it’s somewhere between 252 and 254!

Bonus: Find out about the man Marlow is chasing in his quest to be the most arrested living human. I’ll give you another hint, his total is above 1,000. WAY above 1,000!

VIDEOS: DWTS meets Justin Bieber meets Lithuania dad

Justin Bieber fever has spread its talons causing strange inexplicable behavior across the planet. In a terrifying and seemingly hopeless case of Bieb-Fever we have Vitalijus Orlovas from Lithuania stealing the spotlight from his two unassuming daughters who simply wanted to do a cover of Justin’s song “Baby.”

Bonus: I found the Lithuanian Usher’s YouTube channel and have included three additional mind blowing videos for your enjoyment!

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Ten Bridalplasty inspired reality show mashups

Yes, the show Bridalplasty exists, or at least will exist on E. This show will combine the wedding competition genre with the plastic surgery genre in a mind blowing signal that the world as we know it could very well be ending.

Inspired by this concept of combining reality show themes check out our list of ten reality show mashups inspired by Bridalplasty and then let us hear your ideas. Just as a teaser I’ll give you number seven, The Teen Mom Pick Up Artist!

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VIDEO Phil Davison for Stark County treasurer

Watch what could very well be the most impassioned campaign speech in the history of mankind! Only Phil Davison knows how important it is to the future of humanity that he receive the Republican nomination for Stark County Treasurer! Watch the amazing video and see what I think is Phil’s inspiration and his true calling, assuming that it isn’t local politics.

The most ridiculous moment in music video history!

I’ve seen a bunch of music videos in my days going back to Night Tracks and when MTV actually showed music videos. I submit for your amazement and probable judgment my nomination for the most ridiculous moment in the history of music video!

80’s, DLR, and a drummer that looks like Garth from Wayne’s World. Check it out then try to top me if you dare.

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Levi Johnston running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska for reality show

Levi’s bid for mayor of his baby grandma Sarah Palin’s old stomping ground is the plot of a new reality series titled Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office being produced by Stone and Co., who have already begun shooting on the pilot episode. Find out details about Levi’s political aspirations, the show, his campaign poster and my idea for a reality show that could change the American political landscape forever!

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PHOTOS Jack Nicholson and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

OK starcasm readers, it’s celebrity fashion challenge time! Hollywood icon Jack Nicholson was photographed arriving at the Mr. Chow restaurant in Los Angeles last night wearing a brightly colored suit. Your task is to figure out just which of Jack’s “coat of many colors” is the real one!

A. As Green As It Gets (or The Verdeparted)
B. The Joker (or The Indigostman Always Rings Twice)
C. Reds (or Blood and Wine)
D. One Blue Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (or A Blue Good Men)

And the correct answer is…

“Cathy Minus Cathy” In honor of Cathy Guisewite retiring

Neurotic everywoman Cathy has been lamenting the struggles of dieting, dating and shopping for 34 years on the comics pages of newspapers worldwide, but 60-year-old creator Cathy Guisewite has announced she’s calling it quits in October. Find out all the details and see our tribute to the passing of a comics page icon in the form of two “Cathy Minus Cathy” strips!

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McNugget rage caught on tape!

Who hasn’t driven through McDonald’s at 6:30 AM and been disappointed to hear the only food available is what’s on the breakfast menu?

McNugget lover Melodi Dushane of Toledo, Ohio certainly has, but instead of responding with a defeated “Aw shucks” Melodi decided to DO something about it! The 25-year-old got out of her car, screamed at and punched the employees, and then proceeded to smash out the drive-through window to get her some darn McNuggets!

Check out all the early mornin’ McHate right here!