Every Kevin Costner Movie meets Every Julia Roberts Movie

Every Kevin Costner Movie meets Every Julia Roberts Movie

In honor of today’s release of Eat, Pray, Love I thought I might merge two superstar careers and their typical scripts into one – a blessed union between Kevin Costner’s simple man burdened with immeasurable greatness and a Julia Robert’s complicated woman burdened with immeasurable beauty. They must both sacrifice the solitary lives they prefer to lead and wed one another in order to save the world!

(I have no idea if Julia’s character in Eat, Pray, Love has the problem of lots of men being attracted to her that she must deal with in some way in order to mature. I suppose I could have researched it, but I was afraid it would kill my idea if it didn’t match up.)

And from the world of reality – does anyone else imagine Kevin Costner was at his cabin chopping wood when some gung-ho college kid pulled up in a Prius and told him only he possessed the technology that could potentially clean up the Gulf of Mexico? To which I imagine Costner responded:

“Listen, I just want to chop my wood, eat vegetables from my garden, listen to the baseball game on the radio and drink my clean, filtered water.”

“But Mr. Costner, your water filtration system could save thousands of jobs and an innumerable amount of wildlife.”

(Kevin shakes his fist at the sky) “Curses on you cruel destiny!” And then he says to the boy, “Alright kid, help me load up the truck.”

Later, as the two are preparing to drive off, the kid says, “Mr. Costner, there’s no real need for you to have a shotgun.”

KC: “We’ll see about that!”