Betty White hosted SNL last night and it was incredible, as expected! Check out her monologue below, nobody can sling an insult like Betty:
“I can’t believe this. I just can’t believe I am hosting Saturday Night Live. Many of you know that I”m 88 1/2 years old, so it’s great to be here for a number of reasons. You know, I’m not new to live television. In 1952 I starred in my first live sitcom, which was “Life with Elizabeth,” and of course, back then we didn’t want to do it live, we just didn’t know how to tape things. So I don’t know what this show’s excuse is.
You know, I have so many people to thank for being here, but I really have to thank Facebook. When I first heard about the campaign to get me to host Saturday Night Live I didn’t know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is I have to say it sounds like a huge waste of time. I would never say that people on it are losers, but that’s only because I’m polite. People say “But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.” Well at my age if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouji board. Needless to say we didn’t have Facebook when I was growing up. We had Phonebook, but you wouldn’t waste an afternoon on it. Facebook just sounds like a drag. In my day seeing pictures of people’s vacations was considered a punishment. And when we were kids, we didn’t say we were single. We were kids! It was weird if we weren’t single! Yes, we had poking, but it wasn’t something you did on a computer. It was something you did on a hayride. Under a blanket. Oh, sorry.
Things were a lot different when I was growing up. My father Horace was a traveling salesman who moved our family to California during the Great Depression. I mean that’s the kind of stuff you only read about in novels. And to think, I’ve lived through a World War, worked on radio and films, on Mary Tyler Moore, and the Golden Girls, and now I’m here tonight because you wanted me to be. And I just want to say I feel so loved. Thank you. If I could I would take you all on a big hayride. Starting with you, sir. No, not you. You. *wink*
Guess what? Jay-Z is here! And if I had a dime for every time I said that I’d have one dime, which wasn’t anything to shake a stick in my day.”