VIDEO Dancing dude meets ice cream truck
Don’t let the title of this post deceive you – on rare occasions the combination of dancing and ice cream trucks can be quite unpleasant!
MOVIE POSTER “The Shawskank Redemption” starring Lindsay Lohan and Adderall McBoozenstuff
In honor of Lindsay Lohan’s “escape” from prison I thought I would honor her with a comparison to the greatest prison escape in the history of Hollywood – that of Andy Dufresne in the all-time classic movie Shawshank Redemption. In addition to a mash-up movie poster I’ve provided a number of Shawshank quotes that seem eerily fitting for Lindsay’s predicament.
VIDEO: News reporter live Frogger skateboard FAIL
News reporter Charley Belcher headed out to the Skatepark of Tampa on July 13th for a little live TV. What happened after that will go down in the news reporter FAIL hall-of-fame. Watch poor Charley attempt to Frogger through a sea of skateboarders on a half-pipe to ask some bearded old dude why he is hanging out with kids at said skatepark. Bonus: See a video from after the FAIL as well as links to Charley’s Facebook and Fox 13 personality pages.
10 Mel Gibson rage recording remixes
Radar Online continues to put out recording after recording of Mel Gibson spewing every ridiculous, hate-filled and all around insane thing imaginable at the mother of his child, former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. There’s been some ethical questions about how the tapes were released, but right or wrong the public now has them and they are doing just what you would expect the public to do: remixing the rants in every way imaginable and posting them on YouTube! See ten of the best including a real live reaction from a marmot.
WATER POLO: You’re doing it wrong
Riders in Hamburg seemed to be taking the sport of water polo a little too literally, but actually they were competing in the ‘Seejagdrennen’ race at the gallop derby in Hamburg, Germany earlier today. Established in 1869, this is the 141st German Derby and it runs from July 10 until July 18, 2010.
VIDEO Punch Robert’s hilarious ‘That Doesn’t Make You a Model’
Robert James Hoffman III, a.k.a. Punch Robert has a little something to say to all you MySpace and Facebook models out there: “Stop it!” Punch Robert is back at it following his really funny Urban Ninja videos with a mock up of all those not so pretty young things who front as models on social networking sites. The song title speaks for itself: “That Doesn’t Make You a Model.”
Fear and Trembling – July 6th, 2010
Our Fear and Trembling submitted for your terror today involves a man born to be on F & T, Mr. Jon “dragon tattoo” Gosselin. So what is Jon up to now that lands him in our pop culture horror house? A few hints:
A) Kate Gosselin has done this many times
B) It involves Jon’s feelings and stuff
C) His life coach Sylvia Lafair is assisting Jon-minus-nine with it
Read on if you have the guts to find out Jon’s next publicity grab and our Fear and Trembling for July 6th, 2010!
PHOTOS Autographed Washington Redskins car for sale on Ebay
Possibly the most decked-out Redskins auto EVER is up for sale on Ebay. See photos of the legendary Honda Accord and read why I think this is a tragedy worse than Heath Shuler or a Daniel Syder draft day decision!
VIDEO Vuvuzela Hero, the worst game ever?
By now just about everyone across the globe is familiar with that impossibly annoying droning horn noise that drowns out all sounds at the World Cup. It is the calling card of South African irritation, the Vuvuzela. So what do you get when you mix the vuv-a-what’s-it’s-name and the mega popular Guitar Hero franchise. Read on to see the video for… Vuvuzela Hero!
Fear and Trembling – June 29th, 2010
The BP oil disaster has brought much heartache to the fine residents along the Gulf Coast. So what has the large crowd of people you see gathered in this photo on the beach in Okaloosa County, FL so excited? Read on and brace yourself for the next installmet of Fear and Trembling as I will fill in this blank:
“You have to admit, ______ ________ is just awesome.”
VIDEO Jersey Shore does “Friggin Twilight” from Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Jimmy Kimmel Live and the gang from Jersey Shore have made another fist-pumpingly hilarious video spoof in the same vein as their Oscar Best Picture nominee re-enactments. Showing no fear of the Twihard Army, Jimmy and juice crew took on Twilight in “Friggin’ Twilight” with Snooki as Bella Swan, The Situation as Edward Cullen, Pauly D as Jacob Black and Jimmy as Bella’s father!
Fear and Trembling – June 17th, 2010
The image you see appears harmless enough until you realize what it indicates. The truth is disturbing, bone-chilling, and a dire warning. Read on to find out why you should be horrified of this map, our Fear and Trembling for June 17th, 2010!
Have a Coke and a smile
In honor of the World Cup I thought I might post up one of my favorite soccer futbol-themed photos! This is the south end of a north bound cheerleader at the Bicentario 2010 match up between Toluca and Santos Domingo de Campeones. Now THAT’S a bumper sticker!
Keep reading to find out how other drink companies are trying to keep up with this brilliant marketing strategy.
VIDEO Republican nominee Carly Fiorina calls Senator Barbara Boxer’s hair “So yesterday”
California Republican Senate nominee Carly Fiorina was riding high a day after locking up the Republican nomination for California Senator when she learned one of the most valuable (and painful) lessons about being a public figure: NEVER assume a microphone isn’t on. Watch the video of Fiorina talking candidly about her Democratic opponent Barbara Bower’s hair as well as Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman and talk show host Sean Hannity!
VIDEO: Firefighters should save lives, not rap
Three renegade members of the Midland Michigan Fire Department took it upon themselves to throw down with a rap. Mark Laux, Steve Markowski and Roger Bebeau do their very best at raising awareness for fireworks safety. In the process they manage to embarrass the heck out of friends and family. See the video and feel bad for Michigan.
VIDEO: Too soon? Golden Girls adult film parody
It is now safe to add porno-parody to the new celebrity culture news cycle along with Twitter, Facebook, The Soup, YouTube and of course wonderfully insightful blogs. Following the recent passing of Rue McLanahan and the omni-presence of Betty White, the Golden Girls are getting the official “adult treatment”. Check out the SFW trailer and the hilarious parody of the theme song “Thank You For Being a Friend.”
VIDEO: The WRONG way to fly out of DFW
You get off of a long flight, go through security checks, wait for luggage and the last thing you feel like doing when leaving the airport is waiting at the automobile exit gates. Well, Yasmine Villasana found away around (or should I say over) that whole problem while leaving Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport on Tuesday! Yeeeeeeeee-Hawww!
VIDEO: Conan vs. Colbert and Stewart, a dance-off for the ages
It was a dance-off for the ages on Conan O’Brien’s “The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour” last night at New York City’s Radio City Music Hall! It was a star-studded event and nowhere was this more apparent than when Conan threw down in an all-or-nothing dance-off with Stephen Colbert. As Def Leppard’s 80’s classic “Pour Some Sugar On Me” blared out through the PA system, Colbert and O’Brien took turns in a Zoolander like wiggle-war. Jon Stewart also joined in on the fun!
VIDEO Is ‘The Mad Drummer’ Steve Moore truly In The Wrong Gig?
If you haven’t seen it already – and even if you have – this drumtrulescent video clip will have you crying to the perfect beat of the most over-the-top drumming sensation to ever pound the skins in an oldies cover band, The Mad Drummer!
BP helps the Earth reach puberty sooner
Get an update on the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and a cartoon that offers an alternate theory as to what really caused the oil leak!
Bethenny Frankel is in Kelly Bensimon’s nightmares
Krazy Kelly Bensimon gives us all a glimpse into her murky subconscious while talking on the phone with Jill Zarin in this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. During the call she reveals details about her nightmares that feature a Bethenny made out of knives trying to kill her! See the movie poster from the soon-to-be-released Bravo horror film inspired by Kelly’s dark dreams!
VIDEO Justin Bieber runs into a revolving door
A collective girlish gasp is heard ’round the world! Watch as Justin Bieber puts his helmet hair to the test by slamming into a revolving door at a Radisson hotel!
(NOTE: No Justin Biebers were harmed in the making of this video)
VIDEO: 72 going 100MPH, beauty parlor or bust
If there is anything 72 year old South Carolina resident Sandra Weiss Powell has learned it is to never, ever, and she means EVER be late for a hair appointment. This story is your trifecta of “woman driver” (sorry ladies) “senior citizen driver” and “funny mugshot plus video”. It’s what I like to call a blogger softball! See the video and read about Miss Sandra and the fortunate happy ending.
VIDEO Watch Where You’re Going 101 – Track and field edition
Bad things can happen when one person isn’t looking where they’re going, and it only gets worse if there are two people unaware! Add in the speed of an Olympic-class sprinter and you have a recipe for disaster hilarity!
Keep reading to see the train wreck happen in slow motion.
AlcoHall of Fame Inductee: Charlotte Church
The girl with the golden throat has become the girl with the Golden Grain! Child singing sensation Charlotte Church was photographed out with friends at club 333 Shoreditch May 1st – or perhaps it would be more accurate to say she was photographed passed out with friends at club 333 Shoreditch May 1st!
See the pictures from Charlotte’s Uno de Mayo fiasco!
Glee | Humor | Random Stuff
VIDEO: I think this Glee stuff might be getting out of hand!
Lets just call this Glee meets lip dub meets Martin Scorsese. Check out these two lip dub videos of what has to be the happiest high school in America, Bloomingdale High School in Brandon, Florida. Please place awkward math teacher dancing to Twisted Sister goggles on now!
Humor | Music | Television
VIDEO Michael Bolton’s ‘School of Michael Bolton,’ kids freed from Steel Bars
It is easy to see that ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’ he should send their child to his school and with ‘Time Love and Tenderness’ they can grow in the ways of Bolton. Michael Bolton I love you man. Wait I ‘Said I Loved You But I Lied’ but I really do think that the Michael Bolton School of Michael Bolton is a beautiful place. Check out the video here and be free from the ‘Steel Bars’ that surround you!
VIDEO Six seasons of Lost’s Hurley saying “Dude!”
Remove sexiness from the equation and undoubtedly hefty Hugo “Hurley” Reyes is the greatest character to emerge from the six seasons of ABC’s Lost – and that’s coming from someone who thinks there are a LOT of great characters to emerge from the six seasons of ABC’s Lost!
John Locke is a close second, but he just can’t hang with the cuddly mass of Shaggy and Scooby-Dooness that is Hurley! He won the lottery, bought a fried chicken restaurant chain and he was the only one to realize how integral Volkswagen vans are to the inner workings of the cosmos!
But, perhaps most importantly, Hurley had the power to reel in the sometimes absurd and borderline over-the-top plot twists of the show, and he did it with a single four-letter word…
Why are folks missing their calls? They’re playing “Ow My Balls!”
As if YouTube wasn’t bad enough for “America’s Funniest Home Videos” along comes the next generation of baby-maker bustin’ hilarity “Ow My Balls!” If you noticed folks hunkered over their iPhone at Starbucks with tears rolling down their cheeks completely engrossed and ignorant of what is transpiring around them then you have probably witnessed the cultural effect of the iPhone app game “Ow My Balls”! Read on and be prepared to LROFL.
Humor | Movie Reviews | Movies | Random Stuff | Reviews
Can you guess this “Metacritic’s” tied-for-worst reviewed movie ever?
You’re probably thinking to yourself “what is that smell?” Well folks it is one of the two worst reviewed movies of all time on Metacritic (I’ll follow up with the other one in a few days). Metacritic takes reviews, combines them, and applies a composite score based on the results. They have been around since 1999 and include films from previous years as well. So can you guess what is this tied-for-worst rated movie? A couple of hints:
***
A) Pauly Shore
B) Didn’t work for the BP oil spill either
C) Tenacious D
Read on to find the answer, check out footage from the train-wreck and more from Metacritic’s tied-for-worst movie EVER!
Humor | Sports | Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods withdrew from the players for a bulging what!?!
File this “Freudian Slip” under it was bound to happen. Tiger Woods withdrew from The Players golf tournament early in his round on Sunday for medical reasons. Later it was stated that it could possibly be a bulging disc in his neck. Disc, D-I-S-C, Dee-Eye-Ess-See but this poor reporter lady said the wrong word in her report. Oh you know what she said don’t ya!
Betty White | Gossip | Humor | SNL
VIDEO – Betty White’s Saturday Night Live monologue
Betty White hosted SNL last night and it was incredible, as expected! Check out her monologue below, nobody can sling an insult like Betty: “I can’t believe this. I just can’t believe I am hosting Saturday Night Live. Many of you know that I”m 88 1/2 years old, so it’s great to be here for…
Betty White | Gossip | Humor | SNL
VIDEO – Betty White’s Saturday Night Live NPR ‘Delicious Dish’ lesbian Dusty Muffin sketch
Betty White’s Mother’s Day SNL episode was hilarious! Her salty tongue and timing made even the most tired sketches entertaining. She was in good company too as many of the former SNL ladies returned for this special show, including Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon who revived their double-entendre riddled “Delicious Dish” sketch. The master of…
MULTIPLE CHOICE with Antonio Banderas
Here is a photo of Spanish actor Antonio Banderas taken May 5, 2010. Your job is to figure out which of the following explains what you’re looking at! Is it:
A. Antonio has a new rap album
B. Antonio received an honorary doctorate degree from Malaga University
C. Antonio will be playing the dust mop in the new Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast
D. Antonio is merely showing off his Championship ring after winning the first ever World Cup of Doily Koosh Ball
Keep reading to find out the correct answer!
VIDEO Kanye West vs. Cleveland Brown, Jr. on The Cleveland Show
The egonormous Kanye West once again got the prime time animation treatment, this time from Family Guy spin-off The Cleveland Show. The clip is much kinder and gentler than the brutally hilarious Southpark “Gay Fish” episode and features Kanye and Cleveland, Jr. in a rap slam contest! Keep reading to watch the clip and read the bombastic, sarcastic and even breakfastic lyrics!
PHOTOS Is Jennifer Lopez Marge Simpson or Nefertiti?
Jennifer Lopez arrived at the London Gala Premiere of The Back Up Plan wearing a jaw-droppingly buntastic poofy hairdo with an elaborate Egyptian necklace and Hefty Cinch Sack gown. Good Lord what a sentence! Good Lord what a hairdo!
Does she look more like Marge Simpson or Queen Nefertiti? Take the poll!
VIDEOS Annette Edwards paid $16,000 to look like Jessica Rabbit
England’s Annette Edwards is a 57-year-old grandmother with a serious obsession with Who Framed Roger Rabbit‘s bunnytastic Jessica Rabbit. The soft-spoken Miss Edwards not only went on a very strict diet in an attempt to achieve Jessica’s impossible hourglass figure, but she has spent over $16,000 for plastic surgery procedures that include a breast lift, cheek implants and chin implants.
Click to see videos of the granny bunny in action and watch a famous celebrity do her best Jessica Rabbit impersonation on SNL!
Forget Haiti or starving children, give all your money to Stephen Baldwin!
Most people, when they can afford to, like to give a little some of the wealth they’ve gained back to the world, back to the universe, as a :thank you” of sorts. Sometimes it’s texting the Red Cross to send aid to Haiti, making a donation to a cancer research fund, or donating your time…
New Jimmy Clausen Six Flags ride
Those Six Flags folks are on the ball! Within just a few days of Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen being selected by the Carolina Panthers with the 48th pick overall in the 2010 NFL draft they’ve already got a brand new ride so that we can all experience the thrill of being Jimmy Clausen on draft day!
Tim Tebow NFL gameday kit and flow chart
The Denver Broncos shocked the sports world yesterday by selecting University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow with the 25th overall pick in the NFL Draft. Not only did the Broncos skip over the highly touted QB Jimmy Clausen from Notre Dame to take Tebow, but they traded the 43rd, 70th, and 119th pick in the draft to do it! All of this after the Broncos had a good year from Kyle Orton and just recently traded for the Cleveland Browns’ Brady Quinn last month!
Keep reading to see an exclusive sneak peek at the “Tim Tebow NFL Gameday Kit” and “Tim Tebow 2010-2015 In-Game Flow Chart!”
VIDEO – Mona the Beagle goes rogue during Minor League baseball game
This is seven-month-old Mona, a beagle mix who found a few brief moments of unadulterated freedom on the field of a Northwest Arkansas Naturals Minor League baseball game. She was there to work as part of the “Iams Adoptable Pet of the Game,” but after she was strutted on the field on a leash, she…
PHOTOS Kim Kardashian stars in “When Chivalry Killed Joy”
The rumptastic Kim Kardashian demonstrates a situation in which chivalry is completely inappropriate.
DWTS | Gossip | Humor | Jimmy Fallon | Kate Gosselin
Jimmy Fallon recreates Kate Gosselin’s ‘Paparazzi’ dance
The judges and the American public may have seen tabloid queen Kate Gosselin’s paso doble to Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi,” as a complete disaster, but Late Night host Jimmy Fallon saw a brilliant work of art. Jimmy adorned himself in a Captain Kangaroo disco blazer and expensive blond hair extensions before mimicking Gosselin’s beautifully robotic clunkiness…
Jesse James has over 12 sex tapes, many of them Nazi-themed!
An anonymous source close to Jesse James has revealed to Radar Online that there are at least twelve sex tapes involving Mr. Sandra Bullock and “most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia.”
Click to see our exclusive sneak peek at what the first DVD release will look like!
Top 10 Taylor Lautner Leaning Photos
Being a fully licensed celebrity foible-ologist I am sometimes burdened with the unpleasant task of being the first to diagnose famous people with some pretty unpleasant maladies. Such is the case with Twilight heart throb Taylor Lautner who not only suffers from lycanthropy, but also has one of the worst cases of simple chronic tiltosis I have ever seen! See the startling visual evidence!
VIDEOS PHOTOS Katy Perry gets slimed at the 2010 Kids’ Choice Awards
Never one to dodge any opportunity to be outrageous and fun, singer Katy Perry surrendered herself to to the infamous Nickelodeon green goo otherwise known as… SLIME!
Click to see video, tons of photos and even an animated gif of the slimetacular event! Also, check out Katy’s revealing look on the red orange carpet!
VIDEO PHOTOS The Back to the Futurama Hummer Humvee
This ironic art piece is part of 33-year-old artist Jeremy Dean’s project “Back to the Futurama” and debuted at the 2010 Pulse Art Fair in New York City. Dean, with the help of Slick’s Garage in Palmetto, Florida, fabricated the rolling criticism of American culture, consumerism and lack of environmental activism out of a perfectly “good” Hummer H2, using welding equipment to flip the hood and completely remove the engine. What is left is a gas-guzzling hay-chewing Sports Utility Vehicle Wagon with 382 2 horsepower!
See photos and watch video of the construction process!
PHOTOS What Sandra Bullock can do to win back Jesse James
Sandra reportedly moved out of the couple’s Long Beach home on Monday and things aren’t looking good for the once happy couple.
As is often the case, starcasm is here to help! We think we’ve come up with the perfect solution for both parties and though it would be quite painful for Sandra, we think it would be less so than a break up. Keep reading to see our suggestion!
VIDEO South Park’s EA Sports ‘Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2011’ Mortal Kombat mash up!
So much for “politically correct!” The season Premiere of South Park last night featured the boys playing EA Sports’ “Tiger Woods PGA Tour ’11” for Xbox. WARNING: Contains a lot of crudely animated domestic violence, minor cursing and a whole lot of hilarity!
Humor | Jim Carrey | Maya Rudolf | SNL | Will Ferrell
VIDEO Funny or Die Presidential Reunion featuring SNL alumni!
The folks over at FunnyOrDie.com have united President-imitating Saturday Night Live cast members past and present to make a case for the importance of creating the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency. Included in the Ron Howard directed short are Will Ferrell as George W. Bush, Fred Armisen as Barack Obama, Maya Rudolph as Michelle Obama, Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton, Dana Carvey as George H.W. Bush, Dan Aykroyd as Jimmy Carter and Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford!
VIDEO Jersey Shore Presents… The Hurt Locker
Paul DelVecchio, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Ronnie Magro of Jersey Shore are helping America prepare for Sunday night’s Oscar Awards by re-enacting scenes from Best Picture nominees all week on Lopez Tonight! Though we have lots to look forward to, including Avatar, Up In The Air, Precious, Inglourious Basterds and The Blind Side, the boys kick things off with a scene from The Hurt Locker.
Watch the clip!
The Harsh Ness Monster: “Toyota Recall”
The Harsh Ness Monster returns! It’s been a while since this mythical snarky beast has graced the virtual pages of starcasm.net, and we’re proud to have him back! Ever since he exploded onto the internet scene with his morbid take on the severely depressed Lindsay Lohan and her Marylin Monroe tribute tattoo, The Harsh Ness Monster has developed a dedicated following that are constantly harassing our inbox with requests for his return.
Well now you can both relax! Enjoy the only known living curmudgeonosaurus rex in all his prehysterical glory!
Speed Skating: You’re doing it wrong!
Korean speed skater Ho-Suk Lee gets turned around while racing in the men’s Short Track 500m semi-final of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic Games against Francois-Louis Tremblay (L) of Canada, Apolo Anton Ohno (2nd R) of the USA and Yoon-Gy Kwak (R) of Korea.
VIDEO Kell On Earth – “It’ll come out in the doo-doo”
This video clip is why God made reality television! Or at least why Bravo did…
Watch what Vanity Fair contributing editor George Wayne does and says after friend Kelly Cutrone hands him a crystal left over from a fashion show in this clip from Kell on Earth.
Tron on Ice?
Australian speed skater Tatiana Borodulina was more like Troniana in an outfit inspired by the cult classic 1982 Disney science fiction film! Check out photos of Tatiana’s geektacular get-up and see how it holds up against the most famous Tron suit of all time!
Top 10 Funniest Ice Dancing Photos from the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics
Ice dancing mania is sweeping the world as couples in elaborate costumes perform their high-speed acrobatics on ice at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. Basically Arctic ballroom dancing, ice dancing is the graceful and beautiful union of man and woman in motion. Sometimes.
This here post is about the other times! The times that the unforgiving camera captures that split second between elegant maneuvers – the awkward and sometime hilarious moments that can be missed by forgiving television cameras. Here are my Top Ten Funniest Ice Dancing Moments from the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver! We will start with number 10 and work our way to the top. I’ll offer a title of the maneuver and a brief description for each.
Without further ado….
VIDEO Body-builder stripper Evgeni Plushenko figure skating to “Sex Bomb” by Tom Jones
Outspoken and flamboyant Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko lost out on his bid to be the first man to win back-to-back gold medals since Dick Button did it in 1948 and 1952, and he was none too happy about it! But, instead of crying over spilled milk, Evgeni needs to think about returning to the Evgenius that inspired this drag king boby-builder exhibition routine from the 2001 World Championships!
Horse Racing: You’re doing it wrong
I’m not sure exactly how to describe this – It’s either dog sledding with more horsepower or horse racing with less brain power. Either way, it’s just further evidence what happens when you mix together extremely cold weather, boredom and white people.
Avatar | Flavor Flav | Humor
MOVIE POSTER ‘Flavor Flavatar’
The salvation of two colliding worlds depends on one soul…
JAKE SULLEEEE!!!
KNAME THOSE KNOCKERS! February 1, 2010
This installment of Kname Those Knockers features a the ta-tas of a woman who…
• Knamed one of her Knockers “Blake”
• Was recently in court for assault charges
• Is attending her goddaughter’s birthday in this photo
• Recently had Knocker enhancement surgery
• Just founded her own record label called Lioness Records
• Spent a huge chunk of last year in St Lucia
• Likes a little heroine in her cotton candy
Give up? (C’mon, this was an easy one!)