The world’s worst Douglas is in trouble again. Michael’s son Cameron Douglas is currently hanging out at his step-mother Catherine Zeta Jones’ New York home after being placed under house arrest for dealing methamphetamine. Not one to be let a little something like “house arrest” to get between him and those yummy yummy drugs, Cameron had his girlfriend attempt to sneak drugs past security. But, you can add “sneaky” to the long list of things young Cameron is terrible at. A federal complaint states that a security guard overheard lil Gecko asking for a toothbrush. Cameron “appeared to be very concerned about when the toothbrush would be delivered,” according to the complaint. A separate guard pointed out that Cameron had gotten a toothbrush a few days earlier.
Sure enough, later that day Cameron’s girlfriend Kelly Sott (Yes, he somehow has a girlfriend. Yes, her name is Sott.) showed up with a black bag containing a number of items, including a suspicious looking electric toothbrush. A guard examined the battery compartment and found “19 glassines containing a brownish substance that appeared to be heroin,” says the complaint. (I’m sure there’s a “cavity search” joke in here somewhere.)
Inspired by Cameron’s ingeniousless innovation, Oral-B has plans to release the ultimate in convicted felon tooth care just in time Christmas, the Herointadent toothbrush. The brilliant part is that it comes with a built in toothpick! (Spoon and lighter sold separately.)
Oh, and in case you were wondering about the fate of Ms. Sott, police searched her hotel room (the same hotel Cameron was arrested at last week) and found what appears to be heroin, meth and marijuana.
So what’s the most remarkable thing about this whole story? Is it the not-so-creative take on the “file in a cake” cliche? No. Is it the difficult psychological struggles faced by the children of celebrities in our culture? No. Is it the mystery of genetics that allow for Kirk-Michael-Cameron in succession? No. The most remarkable thing about this article is that there is a human being on this planet arrested for meth distribution currently under house arrest at Catherine Zeta Jones’ house! It’s got me thinking about maybe breaking bad.