Ice dancing mania is sweeping the world as couples in elaborate costumes perform their high-speed acrobatics on ice at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. Basically Arctic ballroom dancing, ice dancing is the graceful and beautiful union of man and woman in motion. Sometimes.
This here post is about the other times! The times that the unforgiving camera captures that split second between elegant maneuvers – the awkward and sometime hilarious moments that can be missed by forgiving television cameras. Here are my Top Ten Funniest Ice Dancing Moments from the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver! We will start with number 10 and work our way to the top. I’ll offer a title of the maneuver and a brief description for each.
Without further ado….
10. The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Not so much funny as it is lame, Russian skaters Ekaterina Bobrova and Dmitri Soloviev decided they would abandon the notion of femininity altogether with their choice of sailor costumes. C’mon! We all know couples’ figure skating is all about the woman and the gracefulness of the female form! The man is just there to lift her up, throw her around and not get in the way. If I wanted to watch two dudes in sailor outfits getting intimate I’d rent a DVD. (Photo: Gerry Kahrmann / Canwest News Service)
9. The Lush Tush
One end of Israel’s Alexandra Zaretsky looks plump and Kim Kardasherrific, but the other looks like she just had a root canal. Then again, maybe that’s the normal look for someone receiving an atomic wedgie. (Photo: ZumaPress)
8. The John Mayer Melon Mush
Singing, ice dancing, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston… Is there anything John Mayer can’t do?!? Nah, just joshin’ ya. This is Vanessa Crone and Paul Poirier of Canada performing their Spanish Flamenco. It’s a very dangerous dance to perform on ice, but thankfully Paul was using airbags. (Photo: ZumaPress)
7. The Ho-Down
Ummmm… Yee Haw? This is one of those not so much “funny” as it is “WTF?” Sinead Kerr and John Kerr of Great Britain seem to become one spider-like barn creature during their American Country Dance.
6. The Grouch Toss
5. The Toruk (from Avatar)
Jana Khokhlova is the spitting image of that big orange and blue flying creature thing from Avatar! (I looked it up and the technical name is the great leonopteryx, but it’s more commonly known among the Na’vi as Toruk.) Jana and Sergei Novitski must have acted out that whole scene from Avatar, because here’s Toruk right when Jake Sully lands on its back:
4. The Tribal Sutra
I have to admit this one made me sweat a little. Russian skaters Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin donned controversial aboriginal Australian costumes and apparently went native all over the ice on their way to picking up a bronze medal. (Photo: Gerry Kahrmann / Canwest News Service)
3. The Dude Looks Like A Kali
Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler (Sergei Novitski) morphed with Russian skater Jana Khokhlova to form a bizarre five-appendaged incarnation of the Hindu goddess Kali. Either that or this is yet another page from the ice dancing Kama Sutra. (Photo: Gerry Kahrmann / Canwest News Service)
2. The Britney
1. The Spank
This is 100% pure artistry. Jana Khokhlova and Sergei Novitski of Russia capture the joyous essence of spanking perfectly! Is there any doubt Jana has been a naughty, naughty girl? (Photo: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
Like this post? Then you might also like our “Top 10 Things From The Closing Ceremonies!” Check ’em out (There’s curling jokes!):