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Tiger Woods Mistresses Scorecard with photos and bios of all the women so far!

Have you been camping out for the last two weeks and have no idea who Kalika Moquin is? Are you the dork at the water cooler who thinks Jaimee Grubbs are a kind of fishing bait? Are you still on dial-up and can’t keep pace with the gushing flow of Tiger Woods mistresses? Well, starcasm.net is here to help!

I wasted most of my afternoon putting together this handy-dandy graphic that compiles info on all the known mistresses in a single, concise and easy-to-read chart! You get ages, background info and images for Rachel, Jaimee, the other Jamie, Kalika, Mindy, Cori and Holly (alias Nicolette)! Though there have been other nameless mistresses reported, this chart covers the seven we know with room for two more on the “front nine.” I’ll create a “back nine” scorecard as soon as number 10 shows up, which I estimate to be Thursday.

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More Tiger Woods mistress Kalika Moquin pictures with hot dogs and a private jet!

OK, Kalika Moquin has taken over the top spot in my list of favorite Tiger Woods mistress photos, surpassing Mindy Lawton’s immaculate “Waffle House Chic” pose! If Kalika pitched her Tiger woo with a frankfurter spread like that I might have to give him a Mulligan for this particular dalliance. What red-blooded American male could resist that? It still doesn’t explain the other dozen or so mistresses that we know about, but shaving one stroke of his score couldn’t hurt!

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Tiger Woods mistress Jamie Jungers video in a hot tub

Tiger Woods mistress number four Jamie Jungers wasn’t just a “trashy girl” she was also a hot tub hottie! This youtube video shows Jamie at the Rockstar US Open Party VIP tent where she is sitting on the edge of a hot tub in a black bikini top and small cut-off shorts. While one creepy blushing dude squirts water from a hose and lifts Jamie’s leg another provides commentary and even gives Jamie a brief, one-question interview:

Host: Are you just hanging out in a hot tub all day? Is that what you do?

Jamie Jungers: That’s what I do for a living. It’s a tough job but somebody’s gotta do it.

Here’s the video. Fast forward to the 1:45 mark for the beginning of Jamievision.

SyFy’s “Alice” Caterina Scorsone pictures

The SyFy network (used to be the Sci-Fi network, but they changed it to sound more like “syphilis” for some reason) launched their new series Alice tonight, a modernization and adulteration of the children’s classic by Lewis Carroll. The cast includes veteran actors like Oscar Award-winner Kathy Bates but all the hubbub on the interwebs is centering around SyFy’s choice to play the title character Alice Hamilton.

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Mindy Lawton pictures, Tiger Woods mistress number 5 or so

Welcome to TigerWoodsMistress.com! That tree Tiger Woods smashed his Cadillac Escalade into November 27th must have been a beech tree because ever since the collision beeches keep falling out of it! The mistress count is up to five (actually some counts have the number as high as nine) with the latest edition being a hometown girl who waited tables within a few miles of Tiger’s central Florida home.

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Senator Max Baucus’ girlfriend Melodee Hanes pictures and salary history while in his employ

Senate Finance Committee Chairman Max Baucus is under fire for his March nomination of girlfriend Melodee Hanes for the U.S. attorney position in his home state of Montana. Some analysts believe the fallout may cause difficulties for Baucus and other Democrats as he heads up their push to pass healthcare reform through the Senate.

See photos of Melodee as well as her complete salary history while working for the office of Senator Baucus.

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Did Tamra Barney’s son go to jail? Ryan Vieth’s criminal record

Ryan Vieth, son of The Real Housewives of Orange County‘s Tamra Barney, revealed that he elected to jail instead of serving 5 days of community service on tonight’s episode. I did some research and turned up a list of his 20-plus previous run-ins with the law!

PHOTOS Subway’s Jared Fogle packs on the weight!

It looks like someone has been getting his five dollar footlongs from Chubway! Subway’s spokesman for weight loss via sandwich consumption Jared Fogle arrived at the Miami Airport Sunday November 29 looking a lot like his old self, and in Jared’s case, that isn’t a good thing. Here’s the infamous photo of Jared holding his old XXXL jeans, which I’m hoping he held on to because he might need them again soon.

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Tiger Woods car accident reenactment videos with wife Elin Nordegren

There are rumors that one or more of the many security cameras on Tiger Wood’s property captured his infamous car accident and some of the events that led up to it, but none of the actual tapes have surfaced and probably won’t until police obtain a warrant. But, the wonderful folks over in China have filled in the visual blanks for us!

Not to be outdone, a suburban American acting troupe gets in on the fun as well!

PHOTOS Antonio Sabato Jr. girlfriend Cheryl Moana Marie from Hawaii

My Antonio is the VH-1 reality competition show that attempts to find a true love for “star” Antonio Sabato Jr. But, People magazine is reporting that all the smoochin’, flirtin’, mama drama and good ol’ fashioned douchebaggery was for naught as Antonio has a new love he met just after the show finished filming. Well, perhaps the Hawaii-based show wasn’t all for naught, because his new gal pal is island native Cheryl Moana Marie, an aspiring singer-songwriter and all-around hottie.

PHOTOS Beth Ditto and the Gossip perform at the Forum In London November 28, 2009

Singer Beth Ditto and her group The Gossip brought their infamously outlandish brand of punk feminist music to London’s Forum on November 28, 2009. The famously outspoken lesbian feminist Ditto once again stretched the idea of fashion, wearing a snug-fitting black planetarium outfit with fishnet stockings and bright red hair: Click thumbnails for extra-large sized…

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Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren in “American Gothic”

The Starcasm Fine Art Collection is proud to present a revamped version of Grant “Tiger” Wood’s iconic 1930 painting “American Gothic” featuring the lovely Elin Nordegren and her husband Tiger Woods.

Truly a modern Masterspiece! (I’m allotted one golf joke, right?)

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AUDIO – Listen to the Tiger Woods 911 call

Here is the complete 911 call placed to police to report the Tiger Woods accident. The call was placed by a neighbor and initially reports Tiger had crashed into a “pole,” but he later corrected himself.

The call doesn’t reveal very much about exactly what happened to cause the car crash. There has bee a good deal of controversy over whether or not Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren broke out the rear window of the 2009 Cadillac Escalade with a golf club after the accident to get her husband out of the vehicle or if the window was busted by Elin immediately before the accident after a heated domestic dispute over Tiger Woods’ alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel.

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Tiger Woods car crash photos from the scene

Here are a number of photos from the scene of Tiger Woods’ one vehicle accident in Windermere, Florida Friday morning. The photos show Tiger’s 2009 Cadillac Escalade received quite a bit of damage to the right front after crashing into his neighbor’s tree on Deacon Cricle. You can also see the where his wife Elin Nordegren allegedly smashed out the back window with a golf club (she claims it was to get Tiger out of the vehicle, but conflicting reports state that she smashed out the window as he was driving away after a heated dispute over Tiger’s alleged affair with Rachel Uchitel.)

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PHOTOS Are Alec Baldwin and Mary-Louise Parker dating? Are they developing a new show?

Actors Alec Baldwin and Mary-Louise Parker were photographed on Thanksgiving hanging out together in Washington Square Park in New York City, sparking rumors that the two single superstars might be dating!

Plus, see the starcasm.net exclusive scoop on a potential new Baldwin/Parker television show!

VIDEO Ed Begley, Jr. flips out on Fox News’ Neal Cavuto Show

Ed Begley, Jr. has dedicated his life promoting a “green” agenda including the prevention of global warming, but his debate with Stuart Varney on Fox News got so heated it might have actually raised the earth’s temperature! Varney was guest hosting the “Neal Cavuto Show” and Living with Ed star Begley was there to discuss recent claims that some of the scientific evidence supporting the theory of global warming might need to be called into question.

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Kim Kardashian bikini photo – Did she diet her curves away? NOOOOOO!!!!

I’ve been very open about my Kim Kardashian curve lurve in previous posts, so needless to say I was quite distressed when I saw the most recent image the formerly curvaceous vixen uploaded to Twitpic with the accompanying caption: “Quick Trim photo shoot today in Miami! I finally feel I’ve reached my goal!”

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PHOTOS Michael Douglas and Donald Trump on the set of “Wall Street 2”

The Gekko and the Don get what little hair they have left trimmed in a barbershop scene from the much-anticipated sequel Wall Street 2. The scenes featuring Hollywood Wall Street veteran Michael Douglas and actual Wall Street veteran Donald Trump were filmed in New York City November 25, 2009.

PHOTO “Disabled Person” Ryan O’Neal goes on a date with a blond mystery woman

William Shatner’s long lost douchey twin Ryan O’Neal continued his luck with the ladies and took an unknown blond out for a date in Brentwood Tuesday night, eating dinner at Palmeri S.P.A. Ristorante. Though there’s nothing suspicious about Ryan O’Neal cavorting with the ladies, there is somethign suspicious about the fact that his Mercedes has a disabled person parking placard hanging from the rear view mirror. I would have thought Ryan’s level of cavorting required a lack of any sort of physical disability, though a moral one is almost required.

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VIDEO Neil Young sings “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” theme on Jimmy Fallon!

DJ Jazzy Neil Young can make anything awesome! On the November 24 episode of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon the Canadian neanderpunk granddaddy of grunge brought the haunting lyrics of the classic 1980s theme song from The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire to life and gave them the spiritual weight they’ve always longed for but never got thanks to the light-hearted rapping style of “Fresh Prince” Will Smith. I should just be quiet and let the ghetto falsetto change your life:

PHOTOS Figure skater Tai Babilonia skates and sorta strips for PETA

Former Olympic figure skater Tai Babilonia did her best to melt the ice at Rockefeller Center by emulating nekkidness in a nude suit and toting an anti-fur PETA sign as she gracefully glided around the rink, and in an attempt to warm folks up to her anti-animal cruelty way of thinking, Tai issued this statement in a press release:

Just because it’s cold outside doesn’t mean we should be cold inside. There are many more warm things to wear nowadays than fur.

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PHOTOS Zac Efron arrives for Late Night With David Letterman

Zac Efron is just the latest in a long line of dreamy men to grace The Ed Sullivan Theater stage with his appearance on the Late Show With David Letterman Tuesday, November 24 to promote his new movie Me and Orson Welles. Here are some pictures of the dapper young man arriving outside the theater in a sharp gray suit.

PHOTOS A sexy Sarah Harding celebrates her 28th birthday at Kanaloa

Former Girls Aloud star Sarah Harding celebrated her 28th birthday at the Kanaloa club in Holborn on November 21st wearing a wild and fun black cat’s cradle dress. And don’t think all the fun was on the front! A glance at Sarah’s backside reveals all sorts of laces and mesh and grommets and… Wow! Putting that dress on must have been like completing a craft project! I don’t know if she’s currently seeing anyone, but somebody had their work cut out for them getting that thing off!

PHOTOS Celine Dion’s home and backyard water park on Jupiter Island, Florida

Never one to pull out any stops, Canadian diva Celine Dion is putting in a titanic home swimming pool in the backyard of her 5.7-acre beachfront property on South Florida’s exclusive Jupiter Island.

Actually, to call it a “swimming pool” doesn’t really do it justice – kinda like calling Celine just a “singer.” These aerial photographs of Celine Dion’s home still under construction reveal an enormous water park which will reportedly hold more than half a million gallons of water, feature water slides and is about the same size as two 50-meter Olympic-sized swimming pools. Celine World has been a work in progress for five years now for the 41-year-old superstar and her husband Rene Angelil.

It’s about time! Tila Tequila has a sex tape

Yawn, snore, zzzzzzzzzzzzz…. Tila Tequila is all up in arms over a leaked video clip of her in a compromising position with a man. (Think Adam Lambert dancer) TT, who just finished a crazy live video rant on UStream that included her taking her top off, says the clip was on a laptop that she reported stolen two years ago and she is threatening to sue 4Tube.com for posting the video.

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PHOTO What Val Kilmer would look like if he ate Val Kilmer

When I was scrolling through the American Music Awards red carpet photos I saw this one and thought to myself, “That’s nice. Chastity Bono was at the American Music Awards.” Wrong! That thar is Val Kilmer! That’s right, the once svelte poor man’s Brad Pitt is frighteningly close to becoming the masculine equivalent of Kirstie Alley. Oh, and he was with Fifty Cent because they’re working on a movie togther.

PHOTOS Construction continues on the Hoover Dam Mike O’Callaghan-Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge

You have to see these stunning images from the ongoing Hoover Dam Bypass construction. Now known as the Mike O’Callaghan-Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge, it spans the Colorado River 1,600 feet downstream from the Hoover Dam and will connect the states of Nevada and Arizona via U.S. Route 93. The final cost of the bridge will be an estimated $240 million and it’s on course to be completed in August 2010 and open for traffic in November 2010.

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PHOTOS Natalie Portman wears a Grimace dress to “Brothers” Premiere?

Natalie Portman wore a McBlobby purple dress on the red carpet at the premiere of her latest movie “Brothers” in New York City November 22, 2009.

I saw the trailer for this movie, which also stars Tobey MaGuire and Jake Gyllenhaal, and it didn’t look like the kind of movie you would wear a McDonald’s Grimace dress to promote. Maybe this was some sort of anti-meat protest by the famously vegetarian Natalie Portman?

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PHOTO Candis Cayne’s afro at the 2009 American Music Awards

Could this be the first trans-gendered afro ever photographed on a red carpet?!? Actress Candis Cayne (Formerly actor Brendan McDaniel) really let her hair up upon arriving at the 2009 American Music Awards in Los Angeles Sunday night! WHOAH!! Actually, to be fair to Candis, she was just snapped in an awkward moment flipping her…

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PHOTOS Rihanna at the 2009 American Music Awards

Rhianna wore a racy and revealing outfit during her performance of “Wait Your Turn” and “Hard” at the 2009 American Music Awards in Los Angeles. From a distance the outfit looked to be a brown and white striped body suit, but upon closer inspection it’s revealed to be a white stripe and bare Rihanna body suit! Mmmmm…nekkid stripes.

VIDEO PHOTOS Lady Gaga performs “Bad Romance” at 2009 American Music Awards

Lady Gaga was once again stole the show at the 2009 American Music awards with her dramatically staged performance of her new hit single “Bad Romance.” LG wore some sort of pantyhose bodysuit thing with flashy white lights and padded white skeletal caging around her head and feet… At one point she busts a glass case with a piano in it and crawls in to tickle the ivory while angrily smashing empty alcohol bottles. Did I mention the piano catches fire? Ah crap – what’s the point of trying to describe a Lady Gaga performance? Just watch it yourself…

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PHOTOS 2009 American Music Awards Shakira and Selena Gomez from the red carpet

The American Music Awards are underway and the red carpet pictures are starting to flow in! To kick off the party are two lovely young ladies with knockout red carpet looks! First up is Shakira, who managed to avoid her usual flirtation with trashy and looked fabulous in a snug bright yellow strapless dress. The only thing this super-fine She Wolf was flirting with was the photographer! And second is 17-year-old Selena Gomez, who looked adorably charming as usual in a short loose shiny silver sequin dress.

PHOTOS 90210 hottie Adam Gregory looking sexy in Miami

A sexy Adam Gregory took a walk in Miami with a charitable chick who won his companionship for the day after donating a hefty sum to the Kids with Cancer fund. In addition to playing Ty Collins on The CW’s 90210, Adam has a heartthrob resume that includes recent roles in 17 Again and Hannah Montana: The Movie as well as being the former arm candy of Jessica Lowndes.

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VIDEO – PHOTOS Fergie and the Black-Eyed Peas at the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show featured performances by musical group The Black-Eyed Peas featuring lead singer and all-around hottie Fergie, who performed in a teal green teddy with a flowing waste cape: In addition to performing live in lingerie, Fergie was also smokin’ hot on the red carpet prior to the runway show, wearing…

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PHOTOS Heidi Klum before and after pregnancy at 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

Heidi Klum (actually, it’s officially Heidi Samuel now) looked fantastic on the red carpet and on the runway at the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show held at the Lexington Armory, in New York City, NY on November 19, 2009. Why is it worth mentioning that Heidi looked fantastic when she has made a living looking fantastic for the last 17 years? Because she just gave birth to daughter Lou Samuel on October 9th! That means the German supermodel and host of Lifetime’s Project Runway was back in runway shape in less than six weeks!

PHOTOS VIDEOS Tila Tequila’s public meltdown live on UStream continues…with a gun and alternate personality Jane Cordovez!

Social media maven Tila Tequila continued her very public meltdown in another live UStream video broadcast early this morning. Channeling her alter-ego Jane Cordovez, Tila feigned suicide numerous times by inserting a gun in her mouth making out with a sword. She also managed to entertain the Tila Army with her first attempt at freestyle rap, playing some of her new album, playing piano and talking about her near-death experiences. The four-hour plus broadcast is hard to suffer through, so here are some of the video and photo “highlights.”

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VIDEO and PHOTOS 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show including newest angel Kylie Bisutti

It’s that time of year when scantily clad women transition from swimwear to lingerie – from the beach to the boudoir – from Sports Illustrated to Victoria’s Secret. And since we are the CNN of scantily clad women, I proudly present our in-depth coverage of the latest lack of coverage: The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion…

PHOTOS Angela Simmons’ Fashion Zen: Yes = No

You might think this is one of my many silly Photoshop posts, but that’s actually Angela Simmons and that actually is the word “YES” in all capital letters spelled out across her bum. In hip hop fashion I believe this is called a “badonkadon’t.” Don’t know who Angela Simmons is? Don’t feel bad – I didn’t either when I first saw that purple gluteus maxi-yes. So I googled her…

PHOTOS Original 1933 King Kong sculpture to be auctioned by Christie’s

Do you have a hard-to-shop-for movie buff on your Christmas shopping list? Do you have $250,000 to spend? Then Christie’s has exactly what you’re looking for! As part of their Vintage Film Posters and Film Memorabilia auction the London-based auction house is offering the Willis O’Brien-designed King Kong armature skeleton used for the famous climactic…

PHOTOS Holly Madison makes wine the old fashioned way…with Lucille Ball?

PHOTOS Holly Madison makes wine the old fashioned way…with Lucille Ball?

Former Playboy Playmate and Girl Next Door Holly Madison appeared at the Paris Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas today to help celebrate the release of the new wine Beaujolais Nouveau. But, she wasn’t there just to look pretty! Holly decided to get her feet wet by squishing some grapes between her toes! Joining Holly…

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PHOTOS Robert Pattinson arrives at The Late Show With David Letterman

New Moon fever has gone pandemic as the latest installment of the Twilight Saga gets closer to premiering nationwide. Robert “Patient Zero” Pattinson will be appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight and fans and photographers were lying in wait in anticipation of his arrival at the Ed Sullivan Theater: Click thumbnails to…

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PHOTO Sarah Palin counters Newsweek cover with her own magazine!

There’s been a lot of hub-bub surrounding the choice of images for the most recent Newsweek cover story on Sarah Palin. Instead of going with a serious, professional photo of the former Alaskan governor the magazine chose to use a photo taken for Runner’s World magazine featuring Sarah Palin in a jogging suit top and…

VIDEO Michael Richards (Kramer) makes light of his racist outburst on Curb Your Enthusiasm

Comedian Michael Richards, the actor most famous for his portrayal of Kramer on the sitcom Seinfeld, made headlines in November of 2006 when he verbally assaulted a couple hecklers with a vitriolic and racist tirade that included multiple uses of the “n” word. An audience member captured the incident on video with a cell phone…

PHOTOS The Saturdays’ Frankie Sandford wears a hot Peek-a-Booty dress

The Saturdays were in attendance at the Variety Club Showbiz Awards held at the Grosvenor House in London November 15 and as usual they livened things up with some exciting fashion choices. Although they were all sparkling and revealing quite a bit of skin, member Frankie Sanford took home the avant-garde fashion award for her…

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PHOTOS Twilight Saga New Moon Hollywood Premiere – Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner!

We have Twilight Trinity photos from the Los Angeles New Moon Premiere! Straight from the red carpet to you, here are pictures of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner! Robert and Taylor are looking sharp as tacks! RPatz has his 5 o’clock shadow grown out to about 10 o’clock and trimmed perfectly. Taylor looks…

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PHOTOS Twilight Saga New Moon Premiere from Los Angeles! November 16

The pictures have started coming in from the biggest red carpet event of the year! Twilight Saga: New Moon premieres tonight in Los Angeles! I’m all the way over on the east coast and I can hear the girlie screams from here! We’ll continue to update this post as the night goes one, possibly adding…

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PHOTOS Twilight New Moon Madrid photocall Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner

Pictures of the Twilight trinity Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner from Madrid looking darker and better than ever! Kristen Stewart looks downright not horribly awkward!

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VIDEOS What do Daniel Wright and Shay Sorrells from The Biggest Loser look like now?

Last night on The Biggest Loser two contestants were eliminated instead of just one. The night was dramatic and historical – dramatic because Shay Sorrells was the first to weigh in and lost 17 pounds! 17 POUNDS! And that wasn’t good enough to stay out of the bottom three! (Because of the double elimination the…

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PHOTO Rachel McAdams to play Black Cat in Spider-Man 4

Mania.com is reporting that casting has already begun for Spider-Man 4 and that one of the top contenders to play Black Cat is Rachel McAdams! Here’s the scoop from Mania: We can exclusively reveal that actress Rachel McAdams has met with the producers of the film for a major role. McAdams (of ‘Wedding Crashers’ and…

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PHOTOS Evidence that Russell Brand is a vampire!

I knew it! Russell Brand isn’t human, he’s an evil blood-sucking beast from some really dark place – darker even than Detroit! Don’t believe me? Just check out these photos of the once lively and spirited Katy Perry, who ill-advisedly invited this vampire into her home (and life) when she started dating it a few…

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PHOTOS Zooey Deschanel on the red carpet at the Behind the Camera Awards

I’d like to thank Zooey Deschanel for brightening up my Monday morning with her happy-inducing countenance and “Walking on Sunshine” demeanor! I have no idea what the 4th Annual Hamilton Behind the Camera Awards are, but Zooey was there looking like her usual enlightened spritely self and that alone is story enough for me! Here…

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PHOTOS Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s new Greenwich Village home with floor plan

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes just bought a new “house” located at 42 West 12th Street in Greenwich Village in New York City. The home sold for $15 million and has 8,100 square feet. Here’s a floor plan for the new digs: Perty sweet! I’m not from New York City so I don’t know a…

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VIDEOS Taylor Swift on SNL Highlights – Monologue, Kate Gosselin, Driving PSA more!

Taylor Swift’s appearance on Saturday Night Live last night was a huge success and today she’s all the buzz on the internet! In case you missed it, here are clips of some of her skits, including her charmingly self-deprecating musical monologue to open the show, during which she plays guitar and sings a song about…

PHOTOS Is Kitten Kay-Sera living ‘Pretty in Pink’ or ‘Pepto Abysmal?’

46-year-old Kitten Kay-Sera of Los Angeles is obsessed with the color pink, and I don’t mean obsessed in the same sense as your Aunt Lily is “obsessed” with dolphins. No, Kitten has a serious case of the pink eye, refusing to wear any other color for over 25 years and surrounding herself with the hue…

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SNL VIDEO ‘Firelight’ Twilight spoof starring Taylor Swift from Saturday Night Live

Taylor Swift’s charming performance on Saturday Night Live included surprisingly pleasant musical performances, numerous Kanye West references, downright cute skits and this prerecorded trailer for Firelight that pokes a little fun at the popularity of vampires and the Twilight Saga movies: In an earlier Twilight post I mentioned that Taylor Lautner’s portrayal of a werewolf…