Category: News

LINKS Kobe Bryant’s legacy, Thomas Markle facepalm, Coronavirus explainer…

JEZEBELRight now, the shocking and tragic manner of Kobe Bryant’s death outweighs the complicated nature of Kobe Bryant’s legacy — a fact reinforced by the Washington Post‘s suspension of a respected reporter who pointed out that Kobe’s 2003 rape case was not as open-and-shut as folks might like to believe

THE BLASTIn other Kobe news, fans appear to be by and large upset by the National Transportation Safety Board’s decision to release a few new photos and some video footage of the helicopter crash site. Releases like this are standard for the NTSB, a public agency known for taking painstaking care and a very long time with its investigations

CELEBITCHYThomas Markle is threatening to give a new terrible interview every 30 days until Meghan picks up the phone, which is a pretty shit strategy considering every time Thomas opens his mouth he gives his daughter less reason to ever speak to him again

VOXHere’s the deal with coronavirus, which is for now at least no more and actually far less deadly than seasonal flu

LAINEY GOSSIPI think there’s been a trailer for The Gentlemen before every YouTube video I’ve watched in at least a month, so it’s nice to hear that the movie is in fact “a classic Guy Ritchie crime caper.” At the same time, it’s rather less nice to hear that TG is also “hideously racist and retrograde”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPMy favorite lede of at least this week: “If your Nana is single and ready to mingle (and a card-carrying member of AARP!) the producers of The Bachelor are looking to cast her in a seniors version of a Bachelor-style show!”

REALITY TEAMeghan Edmonds will not stop spilling her own delicious tea about her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s pettiness and I have to agree with Reality Tea here, if she’d been this interesting when she was on RHOC the show would have benefited enormously

DLISTEDCats won an award from PETA for not using any actual cats in the filming of the movie. Maybe they should have — if there’s one thing people like to watch footage of, it’s cats doing cat stuff

GO FUG YOURSELFJay-Z and Beyonce threw a Grammys pre-party and it somehow seemed to be pretty chill (when the coverage involves the word “frolicked,” you know it’s a relaxed atmosphere)

THE BLEMISHApparently Cameron Diaz has retired from acting? And she somehow managed to do it quietly, despite having millions of social media followers and not that long ago being about as big of an A-list movie star as one can be. This kind of open stealth is Murrayesque; respect, Cameron, and happy retirement

LINKS RIP Kobe, Grammys 2020, RHOC cast shakeup…

CELEBITCHYRIP Kobe: The Los Angeles Lakers and NBA legend died yesterday in a helicopter crash near Los Angeles. None of the nine people on board the helicopter survived the crash; among the eight other victims was Kobe’s thirteen-year-old daughter, Gianna

GO FUG YOURSELFThen, in one of the more surreal pop culture juxtapositions we’re likely to see in 2020, the Lakers’ home arena — better known as the Staples Center — hosted the 2020 Grammys. Plenty of celebrities were still visibly in shock and reeling from the news of Bryant’s death; that said, Billy Porter’s hat went a long way toward making pretty much everyone feel better

THE BLEMISHThe Grammys were also the venue for Demi Lovato’s first public performance in almost two years. She sang “Anyone,” a song she wrote literally the same week as her 2018 overdose, and was so overwhelmed that she had to stop partway through and begin again

DLISTEDTaylor Swift, on the other hand, did not perform at the Grammys, because of some behind-the-scenes drama that kind of got overshadowed

LAINEY GOSSIPOne person who did perform was Lil Nas X — he had the most-tweeted-about moment of the whole show by rolling up with BTS to perform “Seoul Town Road,” their remix of Nas’ “Old Town Road”

THE BLASTAlmost a year after his tragic death, Nipsey Hussle won two Grammy awards: One for Best Rap Performance and the other for Best Rap / Sung Performance. The Grammy categories will never, ever make sense, but congrats to Nipsey’s collaborators as well as his family

JEZEBEL“The Recording Academy, the organization responsible for the Grammys, says it’ll take steps to ensure diversity and inclusion, following a complaint filed by former Grammy chief Deborah Dugan accusing the Academy of being a “boys’ club” full of white men who contribute to a corrupt and rigged Grammys voting process.”

REALITY TEAFinally, in news not related to Kobe or the Grammys, Vicki Gunvalson has officially announced her departure from The Real Housewives of Orange County, along with long-time co-star Tamra Judge

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPSister Wives Season 14 Episode 4 Recap: Hopeless House-Hocking & a Holiday Ambush”

VOXIn case you forgot, there’s still a presidential impeachment trial going on. The range of possibilities of what could happen this week is vast; on the one side is “The whole thing could be over” and on the other is “The shit could really start hitting the fan”

MUG SHOT Massachusetts Parking Lot Pooper arrested, ending two-month fecal frenzy

A Massachusetts woman dubbed the Parking Lot Pooper for doing exactly that has been caught and arrested. 51-year-old Andrea Grocer, of Ashland MA, was caught mid-bowel movement outside her preferred venue: the parking lot of the Natick Outdoor Store. Read on for the full mug shot, plus some delightful straight-faced quotes from the local police.

LINKS Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt again, Thomas Markle lol, Bachelor contestant dies…

LAINEY GOSSIPWe’re back on Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt again, thanks to Brad’s unexpected new comments about he and Jen’s SAG Awards encounter. Brad went and extended this surprise narrative by claiming, among other things, that he was “blissfully naïve” about being filmed watch her accept her award and photographing the two of them greeting each other when she came offstage

CELEBITCHYSpeaking of naïve, Thomas Markle is profoundly so in the very best case. In his latest interview, he said that both the royal family and Meghan and Harry “owe him” because he’s in his “senior years now” and “it’s time to look after Daddy.” Don’t try to make sense of it; you’ll get a headache

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPRIP: A week after his hospitalization due to a suspected overdose, former Bachelor contestant Tyler Gwozdz has passed away

DLISTEDEvidently a bunch of people thought that James Corden was really driving the car during Carpool Karaoke, but someone saw him filming with Justin Bieber on the street in an immobile car and now the jig is up. I’m less impressed by the level of mock outrage people feel over this and genuinely impressed that it took this long for someone to figure out the car was never moving

VOX“Republicans complain about the impeachment trial’s lack of new evidence while blocking new evidence”

JEZEBELMore people should take this advice, myself included

GO FUG YOURSELFThe red carpet at a Cirque du Soleil premiere is my new favorite fashion genre. Honestly it may be the only red carpet fashion I ever pay attention to again. This is like if a B-list celebrity owned the Red Lobster at the nearby mall and invited a bunch of her friends for a grand opening. Debbie Gibson absolutely nails it btw

THE BLEMISHA Massachusetts woman has been arrested and charged with eight counts of destruction of property after pooping outside a sporting goods store on eight separate occasions. Bonus: there’s a mug shot

REALITY TEALisa Rinna’s husband Harry Hamlin appears to believe that playing a gay character in a movie in 1982 ruined his would-be movie career (though Hamlin also said he doesn’t regret taking the part)

THE BLASTSure you didn’t, Wendy — sure you didn’t

LINKS Meghan Edmonds threesomes, RIP Mr. Peanut, Clinton vs. Sanders part two…

REALITY TEAJust when you thought you’d heard the last of the Meghan Edmonds threesomes, the gossip cycle pulls you back in. Meghan is trying to get public opinion back on her side by crying foul over a discussion — on her own podcast — of the threesomes she and Jim Edmonds had. Meghan says she feels “like a target” now, which, maybe stop giving the story oxygen by addressing it on your many public venues, then?

THE BLASTPlanters Peanuts is trying to drum up social media chatter by releasing its Super Bowl ad way early. In the ad, Mr. Peanut gets killed in pretty standard action movie fashion (falling off a cliff onto an exploding car). I can’t help wondering if they would have blown more minds by releasing the commercial during the actual game itself

CELEBITCHYHillary Clinton is petty as hell

JEZEBELGood story; strong headline: “This Woman Used a Louis Vuitton Purse to Make a Prosthetic Leg”

LAINEY GOSSIPNo one involved with Daniel Craig’s final James Bond movie is enthusiastic about it, least of all Craig himself. The more press for this movie I see the more interested in its publicity tour, already far more intricate and entertaining than the movie itself could ever hope to be

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“More Details Emerge About Jen Harley’s Alleged Attack on Jersey Shore Ex Ronnie Ortiz-Magro”

GO FUG YOURSELF“We Had a Tube Top AND a Formal Sports Bra at the SAGs”

THE BLEMISHSelena Gomez bought a ton of copies of her new album to get it to #1 (a plan that worked), then…both admitted she had done it and that it was a desperate move? I can almost — almost — respect the admission, though that doesn’t make it any less desperate

VOXThe Trump impeachment proceedings continue to be of the “Pants On Fire” variety

DLISTEDThe upcoming American Crime Story: Impeachment will feature Billy Eichner as arch-conservative gossip columnist Matt Drudge. Hopefully Eichner does his best impression of Brandon Scott Jones playing a dead gossip columnist test subject on this season of The Good Place, because it’s going to be impossible to see that character any other way

LINKS NeNe quitting RHOA, Brad and Jen Defcon 1, Impeachment fashion…

REALITY TEAThere’s a rumor going around about NeNe quitting RHOA after this season, which appears to be based on the fact that she’s barely appeared in any episodes for an appreciable amount of time and because Wendy Williams says NeNe is “keeping a major secret,” one that could lead to her departure

CELEBITCHYThere’s a ton of Brad & Jan gossip out there right now, so let’s all remember the basics of their SAG Awards (non) drama: “Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston went to the same SAG after-party & did not hang out”

JEZEBELIt’s impeachment season, and here’s your red carpet review. Oddly enough, Mitch McConnell doesn’t look as terrible as you might expect? and Pat Cipollone looks like the ghost of Harold Ramis possessed by Roy Cohn

VOXSpeaking of which: Not that it makes this any less harmful to democracy or the general public good, but Trump’s lawyers opening his impeachment trial with a defense of 100% lies should surprise precisely no one

DLISTEDTaylor Swift would like you to believe that she isn’t the least bit bothered by the enormous overturned litterbox otherwise known as Cats

THE BLEMISHFormer NFL superstar and current former NFL superstar Antonio Brown is a suspect in a criminal battery case also involving burglary. And before you ask: Yes, this is separate from the Antonio Brown bag of dicks story from earlier this week

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPMama June was spotted hawking her diamond ring at a semi-rural Georgia pawn shop this week, and she apparently took way less than the ring was worth

LAINEY GOSSIPI knew there was a new Bad Boys movie coming out soon but I honestly and completely forgot about Bad Boys II ever coming out at all, which I guess is kind of the point of the new one

GO FUG YOURSELFDutchess Catherine is making the absolute most of Meghan’s departure

THE BLASTThere’s no way this was the first time Wendy Williams farted on live TV. A better question would be how often do people who spend as much time on TV as Wendy Williams fart and get away with it

LINKS Thomas Markle vs Meghan, Lev Parnas spills tea, Racist #PumpRules tweets…

CELEBITCHYIn case the decay of their relationship wasn’t already bad enough, we’re about to get Thomas Markle vs Meghan in court, too. It looks like Thomas — who, in case you forgot, is Dutchess Meghan’s father — is prepared to testify against his daughter in Meghan’s defamation lawsuit against the Daily Mail. Over the past year, Thomas has shown himself to be fairly unreliable when it comes to spinning a narrative; if I’m the DM, I can’t be thrilled about having him take the stand

LAINEY GOSSIPIn related Sussexit / Megxit news, Prince William and Catherine were near peak pettiness while stepping out for the first time since the shit hit the fan

VOXLev Parnas, Rudy Giuliani’s associate and co-crime-doer, Ukraine Division, just turned over a bunch of documents to the House Intelligence Committee detailing more Ukraine-related crimes he and Rudy Giuliani did at Donald Trump’s behest, some of them literally written out in longhand on fancy hotel stationary. This is like when the FBI raids the Kansas City headquarters in Casino and finds all the evidence they need literally written out in notebooks

THE BLASTIt seems one of Vanderpump Rules‘ new cast members forgot to delete a few mildly racist tweets after being added to the show

JEZEBELThis story about the complete meltdown of and nuclear fallout from the Romance Writers of America’s recent orgy of backstabbing and deception is very long and complicated and also completely bananas and really just so very, very worth your time and attention

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPAshley Jacobs’ response to her fellow current and former Southern Charm co-stars and lovers Kathryn Dennis and Thomas Ravenel getting back together is shade in a few different hues

DLISTEDWorth the click for this article’s very excellent opening sentence alone: “It seems that Josie Canseco’s thirst for douche fumes knows no limits”

GO FUG YOURSELFThe thing that makes this lowkey my favorite headline of the last few days is how perfectly, compactly understated the joke is

REALITY TEAHere it is only mid-January and Bethenny Frankel is coming in hard with her submission for understatement of the year

THE BLEMISHI almost hate to direct quote so many times in a single links post, but here’s another strong contender for Headline Of The Week: “Do You Wanna See Flume Eat Out Lizzo’s Butt?”

LINKS Sussexit explained, Vince Vaughn backlash, Billie Eilish goes Bond…

CELEBITCHYIf your head is still spinning from Meghan and Harry’s renunciation of royal duties and you’re looking to have Sussexit explained simply, you’ll want both this week’s People cover story and Celebitchy’s breakdown of why it’s significant. Also: come for the explainer; stay for the Dutchess Catherine shade

THE BLASTI get why there was such a sudden backlash against Vince Vaughn after he chummed up to the president at the LSU-Clemson game on Monday night, but also, Vince Vaughn appears to have been a semi-open Republican? Put your cancel energy where it can do the most good, people

DLISTEDBillie Eilish will become the youngest person ever to record the theme song for a James Bond movie when her contribution to No Time To Die drops in a couple of months. Maybe this will be the thing that gets Daniel Craig just the tiniest bit interested in promo before he bids Bond adieu for good

VOXStephen King said some contradictory things about the role of diversity in art, proving for the let’s say billionth time that while Twitter is not the place for nuanced discussion (unless you’re writing a thread), it’s the perfect venue for awkward about-faces after you get called out

JEZEBEL“The Bachelor’s ‘ChampagneGate’ Was a Master Class in Sadistic Producing”

GO FUG YOURSELFBilly Porter is now the first man to get himself an Allure cover; unsurprisingly, the feature is a standout

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPShameless Southern Charm stars Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis appear to be back together and Thomas’ excuse for the reason he and his ex are being spotted together is so weak he may as well have just confirmed the rumors instead

REALITY TEAIn other Southern Charm news, Craig Conover now has his own line of pillows and is hawking them on Home Shopping Network like nobody’s business

LAINEY GOSSIPThe upcoming Black Widow movie looks surprisingly complicated in terms of both plot and the cultural mechanics surrounding its creation and release

THE BLEMISHBy contrast, whatever this Jared Leto thing is supposed to be looks…not that

LINKS 2020 Oscar nominations, RHOD controversy, Cardi B gets political…

CELEBITCHYThe 2020 Oscar nominations have been announced, and there’s not even a hint of controversy over the contenders. Just kidding! Once again, the nominees’ surprising lack of diversity has come under scrutiny. Also surprising: a record four movies received ten or more nominations, suggesting that the major awards may be split among them. Anyway, here’s the full list of 2020 Oscar nominations, so get speculatin’

LAINEY GOSSIPSouth Korean film Parasite was one of this year’s big Oscar snubs. Despite getting six nominations overall, the critical darling received zero acting nods, a fact that has plenty of those darling-dubbling critics crying foul

REALITY TEAIn non-Oscar news, Real Housewives of Dallas star Brandi Redmond has apparently checked herself into a “wellness center” in response to a recently surfaced video in which she’s acting pretty racist toward Asian people

DLISTEDAnything that brings more Cardi B into the world is a good thing, especially if it’s a political run that irks or inspires Kanye to do something more than just talk about it

JEZEBELPossible Headline Of The Week, for multiple reasons: “Thinx Period Panties May Contain Crotch Toxins”

VOXEvidently Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren are about ready to duke it out publicly; here’s why

THE BLAST“R. Kelly’s Ex-Girlfriend Azriel Clary Shares Family Reunion Photos After Leaving Singer For Good”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPSister Wives Season 14 Episodes 1 & 2 Recap: Unhappily Unpacking & Diving Into Dirty Water

GO FUG YOURSELFThe skirt is a metaphor for Dolittle

THE BLEMISHJoe Rogan is literally on a diarrhea diet

LINKS Golden Globes 2020 fashion, RHONJ attack, #PumpRules car crash…

JEZEBELHere’s all your Golden Globes 2020 fashion in one place. Last night’s red carpet was notable for being pretty much risk-free, though that’s not to say there weren’t some stunners (Sofia Carson, Karamo Brown, Zoey Deutch, Cho Yeo-jeong) and some questionable decisions (Bel Powley, Anna Paquin, Olivia Coleman). And in case you were wondering, Billy Porter didn’t get a mention under “stunners” because he is a category unto himself

VOXWhile there were plenty of Golden Globes losers last night, there was really only one who Hollywood insiders will be talking about today: that’d be Netflix, who once again managed the stupendous feat of dozens of nominations and zero major wins. (Side note: After seeing a few preamble clips of The Irishman during the show I was reminded once again of the movie’s uncanny valley anti-aging CGI — the #1 reason I haven’t even bothered trying to watch it.)

CELEBITCHYThis is the best Golden Globes 2020 headline

LAINEY GOSSIPDid Kerry Washington pull off the Golden Globes’ most daring and confident look? Or is this just a hot mess literally held together by some sort of jacket-and-rope combination?

GO FUG YOURSELFHere’s a fun flashback to the Golden Globes 2010 ceremony, which was dominated by Sandra Bullock (looking great in purple), Avatar (seriously, does anyone care about the Avatar sequels?), and you flipping through this slideshow and going “Oh yeah, I remember that guy!”

THE BLEMISHOne last Golden Globes article: “Salma Hayek’s Golden Globes Shirt Couldn’t Contain Her Breasts”

REALITY TEAMargaret Josephs is still “frightened” by the memory of her fight with Danielle Staub in the most recent RHONJ episode, which culminated with Danielle giving Margaret a pretty strong ponytail tug

THE BLASTLisa Vanderpump’s restaurant suffered patio trauma after a Ferrari crashed into it while partially succeeding in making a left-hand turn out front on Saturday afternoon. Other than the driver’s dignity, no one was injured

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPJersey Shore Star Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley Slams Those Who Called Her a Bully in 2019 & Criticized Her Relationship with Zack Carpinello”

DLISTEDMiranda Lambert is using her shirtless hot cop husband to sell tickets to her upcoming tour

LINKS Countess Luann drinking again, Zoe Kravitz wedding pics, Wilmer engaged…

REALITY TEAWe now have actual confirmation of Countess Luann drinking again, from none other than the woman herself. Luann acknowledged that she’s resumed drinking alcohol (legally), now that she’s made it through probation. When multiple stints in assorted treatment programs are part of your probation, maybe you should reconsider hitting the bottle?

CELEBITCHYLast year, Zoe Kravitz had two wedding ceremonies with her now-husband Karl Glusman — the first in May in the States, and the second in June at Lenny Kravitz’s Paris home. On New Year’s Eve, Zoe finally dropped a bunch of photos from the June wedding (aka the one everyone was waiting for a glimpse of), and they are indeed terrific

DLISTED“Throughout the 2010s, Wilmer [Valderrama], who is 39, parlayed his That 70s Show success into an impressive run of dating some of the biggest barely legal pop stars of the decade.” But all that’s coming to an end, because Wilmer is now officially engaged to 28-year-old model Amanda Pacheco. And he proposed with about six rings’ worth of bling

JEZEBELRudy Giuliani remains employed

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“Cast of TLC’s Hot & Heavy Says the Weight-Themed Show is Not Exploiting Them: ‘I Feel Empowered!'”

THE BLEMISHSurely someone has pointed out this similarity before? Because now that I see it, it looks too obvious to have gone unnoticed for over a decade

THE BLASTA group of elite hackers is going around breaking into celebrities’ Twitter accounts and posting obscene things before vanishing into the electronic night like a Christopher Nolan villain

VOXIf you’ve got a lot of processed food in your diet, here’s why you may want to start eating better

GO FUG YOURSELF“Coming this spring on The CW, Amber Valletta is JUMPSUIT LADY, a crime-fighting, ass-kicking, belt-loving superhero who can pull off that wide-legged cropped number — but only due to her aforementioned super powers.”

LINKS RHOC cast change, Surviving R Kelly II, Pope Francis claps back…

REALITY TEAAccording to Andy Cohen, there’s a big RHOC cast change in the works for Season 15, which will supposedly begin filming soon. Early money is on Vicki Gunvalson, already demoted from main to supporting cast, getting the boot, but for now no one knows anything

JEZEBELTonight, Lifetime airs Surviving R. Kelly II, a look at the legal and cultural fallout stemming from their Surviving R. Kelly documentary in 2019. Among the new members of Kelly’s circle who will appear in the sequel are several of his former employees, who remain firmly suppostive of Kelly and think the women accusing him are all out for fame and fortune

CELEBITCHYAt a New Year’s Eve mass in St. Peter’s Square, Pope Francis smacked a woman’s hands several times when she grabbed him out of nowhere and almost made him fall over. Of course he has since apologized, but after seeing the video I don’t think anyone can blame him for his reaction

VOXAnd speaking of New Year’s Eve and by extension your New Year’s resolutions: Here’s the truth about about the number of calories in your alcoholic beverage of choice. If you need to brace yourself with a drink before reading, go ahead

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPIt sounds like Thomas Ravenel is maybe protesting too much about not coming back to Southern Charm. He swears he’ll never return because his family would “disown” him; I say if he’s even talking about the possibility after the year he had then he has no shame and will absolutely do it given the chance

DLISTEDBusy Philipps took advantage of the New Year to post some choice #AlmostGrams blasting E! for canceling her well-reviewed talk show, Busy Tonight, after just one season a few months ago. Hopefully this is the start of a trend where celebrities talk some serious heat-of-the-moment shit and then wait until the end of the year to share it with the world

GO FUG YOURSELFYes, Lupita Nyong’o is incredible on the February 2020 cover of British Vogue, but I’m still not past the stage where she looks like Adelaide from Us in every photograph

THE BLASTMichael Jackson’s sister Janet Jackson has always kind of looked a little bit like her brother Michael Jackson?

THE BLEMISHAmanda Bynes may have gotten a face tattoo of a thin black heart — outline only — on her left cheek. I think it’s probably just a pen drawing, meant to get a reaction out of people? In any case I hope we can all agree it looks better than Bieber’s

LAINEY GOSSIPOn New Year’s Eve, Michelle Williams and Thomas Kail announced they are a) engaged and b) expecting their first child together, double congrats!