JEZEBEL – Somehow, Naked and Afraid of Love manages to be “the one dating show that works.” Maybe that’s because “when denuded and forced to fend with a partner who is a virtual stranger, there might really be a chance at an actual connection”
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Remember when Johnny Bananas “betrayed” Sarah Rice in the finale of The Challenge: Rivals 3 and kept all their money for himself? Sarah says he cheated with adderall to win the challenge in the first place
THE GIST – How is He’s All That, Netflix’s reboot of the late-90s classic She’s All That? The movie is “a temporary wonderful euphoria like those flared pants you bought at H&M to look cool for a minute but after one wash it’s come undone at the hem just like your dignity. It’s not asking to be taken seriously, so don’t”
REALITY TEA – Tributes to Gregg Leakes are pouring in from across the Bravolebrityverse in the wake of Gregg’s death earlier this week. Cynthia Bailey, Andy Cohen, Kim Zolciak, and a whole host of other Real Housewives have taken to social media to share memories and offer tribute
GO FUG YOURSELF – “Pixie Lott’s name really does sound, to me, like the plucky heroine of a series of kids’ books about a detective. But the only real mystery in Pixie Lott and the Case of the Sparkly Boobs is why she wore it in the first place”
DLISTED – ABBA is reuniting and putting out a new album and playing a concert where they’ll appear as literal holograms of their younger selves? Anybody have that on their 2021 bingo card?
THE BLAST – No idea how the streaming rights to Seinfeld aren’t locked up by NBC for their own streaming services like a princess in a tower. But, somehow, they worked out a deal with Netflix, and Seinfeld will be on Netflix starting later this month
LAINEY GOSSIP – This really shouldn’t be news, because the Delta variant is raging (for reasons that beggar belief). But Paramount just pushed back a ton of major movie release dates to 2022, among them a couple of Tom Cruise joints and the newest Jackass
CELEBITCHY – Greek tennis player Stefanos Tsitsipas is becoming a bit of an “international story” (= joke) because he takes too long to use the bathroom between sets #Tsitsipotty
THE HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP – Was the latest Big Brother eviction “the most predictable yet” this season?
(Photo credit: Discovery Plus)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail or Twitter.
