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Chris Pratt engaged 2

LINKS! Chris Pratt engaged, Kanye defends R. Kelly, Drake’s Vegas residency…

CELEBITCHYEveryone out there who figured we’d see Chris Pratt engaged to Katherine Schwarzenegger by Christmas 2018, you were only a few weeks off. Chris popped the question to Katherine at some point over the holidays, because they’ve now announced their engagement and she’s sporting a ring fit for a Hollywood Wife

DLISTEDAll Kanye really wanted to do was drop a thinly veiled defense of himself and his ever-shifting, ever-sh!tty beliefs — but what he actually did was defend R. Kelly, with what has to be the worst timing in music history

THE BLASTDrake has apparently agreed to a multi-year Vegas residency. It’s only for a “minimum” of ten shows per year for an undisclosed number of years, but honestly? The $10 million fee seems kind of low for him

REALITY TEAAn employee at Lindsay Lohan’s Mykonos nightclub claims she’s more of a “hardass” than Lisa Vanderpump, for whom the employee has not worked. Nevertheless, this story will probably go through at least one gossip cycle, so hats off to the employee for pouring good tea

THE BLEMISHGod damn it Louis CK

LAINEY GOSSIPHere’s the latest abomination from outrage sensation Logan Paul

JEZEBEL“Mining what appears to be weeks of behind-the-scenes footage of the festival’s conception and brutal failure, Chris Smith’s new documentary Fyre is an incredible deep-dive into how the bumbling, dweebish frat boy in businessman’s clothing McFarland torpedoed his festival into a viral disaster.”

VOX“Ever wake up to a numb, dead arm? Here’s what’s happening.”

LINKS! Jeff Bezos dick pics, Danielle Staub’s wedding ring, Meghan Markle’s regrets…

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JEZEBELJeff Bezos apparently sent dick pics to his mistress — and they’re now in possession of at least one tabloid. So we can all rest assured that if his divorce saga gets ugly enough, the Jeff Bezos dick pics will be unleashed upon the world by whichever party stands to benefit the most from the “unsparing close-up” shot going public

REALITY TEAOn Watch What Happens Live, Danielle Staub confirmed that she sold Marty Caffrey’s ring to pay for her divorce from him, though that was actually the least surprising moment on the show

THE BLEMISHIt’s now being reported that Meghan Markle finds being a royal “incredibly stressful” and is “miserable” in general. Based on what little I know about British life in general and the royal family in particular, it sounds like she’s got it exactly right

THE BLASTCardi B got served in the lawsuit stemming from the fight she got in at last year’s Met Gala while walking onto the set of the net Netflix show she’s filming. And there’s video

VOXThe government shutdown means no one is staffing the still-open National Parks, so naturally people have taken to crapping everywhere, spraying graffiti on natural monuments austere enough to make a teenager blush, and chopping down trees

LAINEY GOSSIPLeonardo DiCaprio and his new-seeming girlfriend Camila Morrone have been together for an entire year? Are we absolutely sure she wasn’t replaced with yet another younger version at some point? Has Leo been with one woman this long since before Camila was born?

CELEBITCHYMandy Moore’s very good dog Jackson is at home and recovering nicely after needing emergency, middle-of-the-night surgery because he ate an entire tennis ball

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP‘Counting On’ Star Jessa Seewald Reveals Her Sister Jana Duggar’s Current Relationship Status After Jana (Finally) Joins Instagram

DLISTEDMinor league baseball player Tim Tebow is engaged to Miss Universe 2017 Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters, but the real story is what he reportedly said to her as he put the ring on her finger

LINKS! Dorit Kemsley’s money woes, Kate Mara pregnant, ‘Made In Staten Island’ backlash…

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THE BLASTDorit Kemsley’s money woes don’t look like they’ll be over anytime soon — her husband Paul is being sued over a $1.2 million loan he made seven years ago and has yet to repay any of. And the RHOBH star’s husband is still struggling to pay off nearly $4 million in casino debt

JEZEBELKate Mara revealed she’s pregnant to Emily Blunt while the two of them were waiting for the bathroom at the Golden Globes. The trigger? Blunt noted that Mara’s breasts seemed bigger than normal

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPThe Karen Gravano-produced Made In Staten Island will premiere on MTV next week over the objections of plenty of Staten Islanders who feel it panders to stereotypes. Jersey Shore residents would like them to kindly get in line

CELEBITCHYWhen the long-feared socialist uprising comes, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West will have unwittingly positioned themselves as 21st century’s America’s answer to Marie Antoinette

THE BLEMISHChristian Bale is still getting sh!t for thanking Satan in his Golden Globes acceptance speech. But not from the Church of Satan itself, which applauded his invocation *and* managed to leave Dick Cheney’s name out of it

REALITY TEADisgraced ex-Southern Charm star Thomas Ravenel says Kathryn Dennis’ drug use during her pregnancy is why their son has developmental issues. Thomas is on thin ice blaming anyone for anything, so it should be interesting to see how Kathryn responds

DLISTEDAshley Graham is right

VOXIt’s bad for folks’ vacations and national morale in general that the 418 sites in the National Parks System are closed for the duration of the government shutdown. But it’s also the first good thing for the environment that the Trump administration has done

LAINEY GOSSIPMaybe there have been other articles about Black Mirror: Bandersnatch written in a “Choose Your Own Gossip” format, but I haven’t seen them, so this one is by default the best one period

LINKS! Lisa Vanderpump vs. Kristen Doute, The Kominsky Method?, Kendall’s big flop…

Lisa Vanderpump vs. Kristen Doute 2

REALITY TEALisa Vanderpump vs. Kristen Doute was the main event during LVP’s Watch What Happens Live appearance, only Kristen had to respond to Lisa’s insults via Twitter since she wasn’t also on the show. WWHL should offer an in-picture live feed of the person most likely to get roasted by the person actually on the show, just for social media

JEZEBELOh thank God, I wasn’t the only person watching the Golden Globes who thought “The Kominsky Method? What the f*ck is that?” You could have told me it was a show about how there are so many TV shows that someone decided to just make one up and talk it up until it won awards and I would have believed you. (And now I wish that’s what it was actually about)

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPIt turns out that Kendall Jenner’s super big hush-hush life-altering secret is that she’s actually a paid spokesperson for a well-known brand of acne treatment creams whose name we won’t glorify by repeating it here. So people have been rightly roasting Kendall and Kris for their buildup

CELEBITCHYWhat even is Gwyneth Paltrow, anymore? And am I still allowed to enjoy The Royal Tenenbaums?

VOX“Anyone in authority [claiming a terrorism crisis] to bolster support for building the wall or any other physical barrier along the southern border is most likely guilty of fear mongering and willfully misleading the American people.” –One of Donald Trump’s former top counterterrorism experts

THE BLEMISHSee, I like this news because the more people turn down hosting the Oscars the more likely it is that the ceremony will actually be helmed by a monkey in a tuxedo

THE BLASTJustin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin toured a home in Encino CA with 10 bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, 12,500 total square feet, and a $13 million price tag — and here are some photos

LAINEY GOSSIPDay of Teaser Trailers, #1: The good stuff is on lockdown until the final season premiere, but you can enjoy these three seconds of new Game of Thrones footage and parse them for clues until April

DLISTEDDay of Teaser Trailers, #2: The Haunting of Sharon Tate, starring Hilary Duff and what feels like at least a couple decades’ worth of anticipation at this point, is apparently going to be hot garbage. I am getting a definite The Room vibe from this trailer — one to watch, for sure

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LINKS! Madonna butt implants, Most beautiful woman?, Dr. Pimple Popper is back…

THE BLASTMadonna played a surprise New Year’s Eve show at the Stonewall Inn and her ass apparently looked Kardashian-worthy, so now the hot gossip is whether Madonna butt implants are actually a thing

THE BLEMISHHere is the seventeen-year-old French model Thylane Blondeau, who according to at least one ranking service of note is The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. Since no one will dispute this ranking in any way, you can just take a quick look at the pics and move on

JEZEBELThis new & extensive interview with Dr. Sandra Lee — aka Dr. Pimple Popper — is perfect whether you’re one of her millions of fans or one of the millions of people who don’t understand why she has millions of fans

REALITY TEAIt sounds like the Real Housewives of New Jersey cast trip to Cabo this season will be pretty over-the-top, even by Real Housewives standards

CELEBITCHYTaylor Swift has made the conversion from celebrity-studded Fourth of July parties to celebrity-studded New Year’s Eve parties. It makes sense: they’re simultaneously safer (which is better for her brand) but also generally drunker

LAINEY GOSSIPTiffany Haddish bombed on New Year’s Eve, then engaged with the “learning that happens in failure” by owning up to it on New Year’s Day (and by inviting fans onstage to get drunk with her as the bombing unfolded, which sounds like a sensible enough in-the-moment decision)

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPGianna Hammer and Hayden Parker Weaver of Are You The One? confirmed their split, which actually happened several months back. They had been together for two years; Gianna gave birth to their first child together last August

DLISTEDTen months of engagement were enough for Toni Braxton and Birdman, who just called the whole thing off. Birdman made the news public by dropping “It’s Over!” on IG Live, then deleting every one of his posts including that one

VOXFinally, a little something for the parents of young children (or the supremely stoned): “A dozen streamable shows and movies that kids can watch (and parents will like): Delight the whole family while also retaining your sanity”

LINKS! Offset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll, Bieber’s new feud, Real Housewives return…

Offset's alleged mistress Cuban Doll

THE BLASTOffset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll has been cleared of all charges in the gun possession incident stemming from a night out with Kodak Black a few weeks ago

JEZEBELWhy is Justin Bieber feuding with 15-year-old JoJo Siwa on Instagram? And why is he so bad at acting like that’s not what he was doing?

REALITY TEAHere’s a comprehensive and controversy-free list of Real Housewives that Bravo should bring back across all the spin-offs in 2019

CELEBITCHYScotland Yard has officially designated Meghan Markle’s sister Samantha Grant a “fixated person,” which appears to refer to people who “stalk or harass public figures” — so, sounds about right. They’re also calling her a “risk,” and we probably will never hear anything more about that after 2018 comes to a close

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPJon Gosselin, who now has full custody of his 14-year-old son Collin, is not here for any of his ex-wife Kate’s claims about Collin’s health or special needs

THE BLEMISH“I’ve never wanted a penis. Apart from to piss up a tree. Being able to do that standing up: so convenient. You can just whip it out and whatever. But the idea of something so vulnerable swinging between my legs, I think I’m all right without.” -Keira Knightly

DLISTEDIf you ever wanted to know what Grover from Sesame Street maybe dropping an F-bomb might sound like, here’s your chance

LAINEY GOSSIPJake Gyllenhaal has a new girlfriend; she’s a model named Jeanne Cadieu who’s sixteen years younger than him; she also deals with cold weather better than him

VOXA primer: “How meditation and psychedelic drugs could fix tribalism.” Happy 2019, everyone!

LINKS! Bill Cosby sex tape, RIP Penny Marshall, Pete and Ariana…

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THE BLEMISHIt seems there’s a decent chance Hugh Hefner, who apparently recorded pretty much every celebrity who ever had sex at the Playboy Mansion, may have filmed a Bill Cosby sex tape — and then *not* destroyed it

JEZEBELRIP Penny Marshall, who died of complications from diabetes yesterday. Marshall was 75, but A League of Their Own is immortal

CELEBITCHYAriana Grande went to NBC studios on Saturday to support her ex Pete Davidson, though Pete had security keep her outside the Saturday Night Live studio itself probably because “he knew it wasn’t good for him to see Ariana”

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPThe Vanderpump Rules cast has been exceptionally good at spinning their time on the show into steady side gigs. Here’s a rundown of all their businesses, including “beer cheese, books, beauty products, booze” — and more!

REALITY TEASpeaking of #PumpRules: “Kristen Doute Says Lisa Vanderpump Tried To Keep Her From Tom Tom; Teases Relationship Drama On Season 7 Of Vanderpump Rules”

THE BLEMISHRHONY star Bethenny Frankel is working to get 200 twin mattresses donated to Massachusetts’ Newton-Wellesley Hospital, where Frankel stayed for two days after her allergic reaction to fish earlier this year

VOXThe Trump Foundation, Donald Trump’s charitable-organization-in-name, is shutting down as part of the New York Attorney General’s ongoing investigation into its “shocking pattern of illegality”

DLISTEDAccording to their respective girlfriends, both Liam Hemsworth and Cole Sprouse (best known for playing Jughead on Riverdale are dick wizards

LAINEY GOSSIPNetflix’s lighthearted holiday films all feature, in shades ranging from “fake” to “total bullsh!t,” a wide variety of unrealistic creative jobs. Here’s just how fake they all are, plus drinking games for each film!

LINKS! Trump’s hush money revealed, Hef’s exes go XXX, Fortnite p0rn……

Trump's hush money revealed

VOXWith Trump’s hush money revealed, Michael Cohen sentenced to three years in prison, and National Enquirer publisher AMI cooperating fully, it appears the federal investigation into the president’s 2016 campaign will now turn its attention to the Trump Organization itself

DLISTEDTwins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, best known as Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Playmate exes, have signed a seven-figure deal to do “boy/girl, girl/girl, boy/girl/girl and all-girl group” adult scenes together

JEZEBELSpeaking of adult film, apparently Fortnite was one of its most popular subgenres in 2018. So here’s what that’s all about

REALITY TEALisa Vanderpump still doesn’t have a credit card, nor does she want one. (Nor does she really need one.) She claims it’s because she would forget to pay the bill, and, honestly, that answer seems legit

THE BLASTOn a somewhat related note, Lisa’s former RHOBH co-star Camille Grammer has been forced to move into her parents’ house after losing her Malibu mansion in the Woolsey Fire this autumn. The photos of the damage look pretty grim

CELEBITCHYWe’re in awards season, which means it’s time to catch up on all the movies you’ve really been meaning to see for months now. Here’s a complete list of the nominees for the 2019 SAG Awards to help you prioritize

LAINEY GOSSIPEmily Blunt, AKA “New Mary Poppins,” was nominated for Best Lead Actress at those very same awards. She also rocked a surprisingly comfy-looking violet dress at Mary Poppins‘ London premiere last night

THE BLEMISHControversial YouTube person Pewdiepie, who still has the most subscribers of anyone on the platform, is “back on his anti-Semitic bullsh!t’ after recommending a hate channel to those millions of subscribers

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP“10 Amazing, Funny & Downright Strange ‘Teen Mom’ Gifts You Can Buy For Everyone on Your Holiday Shopping List”