MUG SHOT Virginia school district hires heroin dealer to teach first grade

S. P. Morton Elementary School in Franklin VA is in a spoonful of hot liquid today, after word broke that the school accidentally hired a heroin dealer to teach its first-graders.

Except “accidentally” isn’t quite the right word; the hiring was completely intentional. The school hired Elizabeth Ferguson, 36, a week after she was indicted on two felony charges of distribution of heroin. She was arrested on September 22nd, and hired on September 29th.

The problem? The school didn’t do a background check on Ferguson. She was hired with a background check “pending”: Ferguson was teaching first-graders before the results of the check had been returned to the school.

Franklin City Schools, whose motto is “Dedicated to Delivering Excellence,” accepted Franklin’s resignation as soon as she submitted it late last night.

Many local parents, though, are furious that the school could have allowed Ferguson to be hired in the first place.

“It’s very scary,” according to mother Lamanesia Boone.

Grandmother Ernestine Manley went farther: “I’m mad,” she declared. “Nobody ever told me as a grandparent that this actually happened….It should have never happened. You are careful with the system, why did the system fail that time?”

Franklin City Schools spokesperson Kevin Edwards said he expects changes in that system to be discussed at the next school board meeting.

“It’s something we definitely need to look at,” he told local station WKTR. “We can always look at revising policy because there is always an opportunity for improvement.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your Starcasm Understatement of the Week.