The Charlie Sheen Saga has no beginning, and no end. The public only gets rare glimpses into the eternal party of Charlie’s life when someone ends up in jail, in the hospital, or both. And those instances are probably far less than they should be.
When nobody ends up in the ER or in handcuffs, Charlie just puts on his bowling shirt and comes to work on Two and a Half Men, where he basically gets paid to act hungover.
This last romp with porn stars and massive amounts of coke that landed him in the ER for abdominal pains, has caused Two and a Half Men to halt production while Charlie may or may not be getting some kind of treatment for his addictions (Charlie has been to rehab at least 5 times before, including last year when he pulled a knife on his then-wife Brooke Mueller, who also entered rehab for crack and alcohol.)
On Valentine’s Day (last Monday) a “sober” and cheeky Charlie Sheen called into The Dan Patrick Show and proved nothing more than the fact that despite everyone else’s opinion of what he should or shouldn’t be doing (even if it’s life or death) Charlie is still gonna do whatever he wants. Part of what he wants to do is socially smoke crack, and the other part is go to work the next day on the most popular sitcom in America where he takes home bucketloads of money to buy more crack.
He refused to enter a treatment center after this last blowout (where he was described as smoking inhuman amounts of coke, and chugging bottles of vodka,) in favor of rehabbing at home. One of the perks of rehabbing at home is that you can throw huge parties with MLB stars.
Here’s few statements from the sober mind of Carlos Estevez (Stage name: Charlie Sheen) from last week:
On how he’s ready to work, but though the rest of the Two & a Half Men crew is not:
“Nobody told me. I just figured, you know, supposed to be back at work, they told me to get ready…We’re on forced hiatus, they said, ‘You get ready, and we’ll get ready,’ and I got ready and went back, nobody’s there. I don’t know what to tell you. Nobody’s there. I’m here and I’m ready, they’re not. Bring it.”
“I’m a man of my word, I have a contract. They said get your act together and I did, and…I think maybe it’s a timing thing, they didn’t think it was going to happen this fast.”
And, on why they should go ahead and start shooting now before his moment of sobriety passes like thief in the night (that’s totally not a red flag, or anything):
“I heal really quickly, but I also unravel really quickly, so get me right now, guys,” he said. “Get. Me. Right. Now.”
About crack:
“I said stay away from the crack. Which I think is good advice. Unless you can manage it socially. Because if you can manage it socially, go for it, but not a lot of people can, you know.”
Why he drinks:
“The only thing that makes me want to party is when my brain says, ‘It’s on.’ Usually at the wrong time…It tends to do with boredom. It’s never been about, everyone else is drinking, I should too. It’s about wanting to make things better, whether it’s real or imagined.”
Read the rest and listen to the interview at E! Online.
