Brandi Glanville dishes on LeAnn Rimes, a DUI arrest, and her new vagina in memoir

Brandi Glanville attends 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3' premiere at The Roosevelt Hotel - Arrivals Hollywood, California

Brandi Glanville’s new book Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders is due to hit bookshelves on February 12, but before that happens, we are getting a sneak peek at the shocking revelations made by the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star that are about to be dropped — and we do mean shocking. For starters, Brandi goes in to much more detail about her husband’s affair than we ever heard of before, revealing just what went down after she found out about it and the hilarious way she used her vagina to get back at him.

“I’m not entirely sure how I ended up on the floor of my closet sobbing,” Brandi writes in the memoir of the moment she found out that her husband Eddie Cibrian was having an affair with country singer LeAnn Rimes. “A teary-eyed Eddie found me lying there minutes later, and without saying so much as a word, he started kissing me all over…he pulled off my workout pants and we started having sex right there. He swore up and down my body that it wasn’t true…that it was completely innocent. In that moment, it was easier to believe him, because I just couldn’t stand the thought of being without him.”

Brandi Glanville's new book 'Drinking And Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders'

After being temporarily convinced that Eddie wasn’t being unfaithful, Brandi later got the confirmation that she needed during a visit to the Northern Lights set where Eddie and LeAnn had first met and began their relationship.

“LeAnn had ‘accidentally’ smeared some cake frosting on her top (she was still a bigger girl and completely flat-chested at the time) and asked my husband, not realizing that I was standing behind the both of them, if he wanted lick it off her,” Brandi recalls. “This woman asked my husband if he wanted to eat the frosting mess she’d dropped on her nonexistent chest? … He hadn’t realized I was there, either, and he laughed with hungry eyes at the suggestion.”

Once Brandi and Eddie had officially split, things went south quickly for Brandi who on top of losing her family also lost her home and had no way to support herself or her two children, Mason, 9, and Jake, 5.

“I was a jobless, homeless, mother of two living out of her $1,200-a-month SUV and couch-surfing from one hospitable friend to the next,” she explains. “After my divorce — even with the help of Lexapro — I fell into a bit of a tailspin [and an eventual DUI arrest]. White wine became my constant shoulder to lean on.”

So what came next for Brandi? Revenge, of course. And how better to get it than with some good ole fashioned vaginal rejuvenation?

“This pretty intense surgery had an even more intense price tag: $12,000,” Brandi states. “A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina…. I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. I gave [the doctor’s office] Eddie’s credit card number.”

Despite everything Brandi went through at the hands of her ex-husband, she’s thankful for his part in her journey into the woman she is today. “I would like to thank my ex-husband, Edward Cibrian, for giving me all the material I could ever need to write this book and for helping me discover the strong independent woman inside of me,” she writes.

UPDATE: Brandi also gave LeAnn some shade at a book signing in Beverly Hills Monday (surprising, right?) She said when asked about LeAnn: “[She] can go f**k herself. Well, she has to, because who would want to?”

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  • Bebe

    The book sounds like it might actually be funny.

  • Nathan

    “[She] can go f**k herself. Well, she has to, because who would want to?”

    Your ex-husband, obviously.

    • Naunceling

      Obviously, he does not. He begged Brandi to stay with her. SHE threw him out. rimes and her bank account swooped in to house and feed him.

  • Shannon

    Eddie paid for her new vagina hahahahaha I love it. I’d want a new p**sy too after being with that man wh0re.

  • gsamson449

    So she was so broke she was living out if her SUV, but had the $12,000 for unnecessary vaginal surgery. What a liar.

    • Juliette

      If you read it again slowly, she states she put it on his credit card. She didn’t pay for it herself.

      • Melissa

        So she admitted to grand theft. Wow cool. Good mom….

    • tp

      She said she used Eddie’s credit card.

    • andiecohenn

      Exactly. You & your kids are basically homeless & you choose plastic surgery over buying them things they need. Also a doctor is going to want Eddies signature. She’s either a bad mom or a liar, or both.

      • Melissa

        Can I vote for both? :)

    • Naunceling

      You lack reading comprehension, she gave the doc his card number, notnthe actual card.
      Landlords don’t take credit card numbers. In any case, he canceled the card after she used it that once. Glad it was a big purchase.

    • Melissa

      Now come on what is more important than her vagina, not her children…

  • Jenn

    When is she going to realize that she looks like the crazy ass in this mess? She can’t do an interview or go a few days without talking about LeAnn. If you dislike her so much then stop thinking and talking about her 24/7….oh I forgot if it weren’t for LeAnn Brandi would still be a nobody.

    • Shannon

      Ok Leann

    • Melissa

      But with a new vagina…. lol.

  • andiecohenn

    She is so not a great mom.

  • Trisha

    Living with her kids on her SUV basically homeless vs. a cosmetic surgery for her vajayjay, uhmmmm
    Let me think about this for a second, roof over children’s head, vaginal rejuvenation, ….. such a difficult decision…

    • Naunceling

      The children were with Eddie forvisitation when he sold their house right from under her. He planned on taking the kids with the help of Rimes’ money and attys.

      A memorized credit card number doesn’t buy a house or rent an apt, now does it?

      • Melissa

        That would work if she didn’t sign off on the house before the divorce. A job would have paid for a apartment or house. Drinking and driving didn’t help either. She had two small children to think about. To bad she didn’t. It would have been great if she killed someone.

  • Melissa

    So let me get this straight. She’s living in her car or at friends with her kids. Yet this mature woman with two small boys decides drinking and driving is a good idea along with getting her vagina fixed as opposed to say getting a job and a place to live. Yes that sounds about right….