VIDEO and LYRICS Randy Quaid performs self penned song “Star Whackers” live

In all of this Sheen #winning and Mel Gibson ranting we’ve almost forgotten about the absolute most whacked out celebrity going right now and that’s Mr. Randy Quaid.  I should include his partner-in-weird and wife Evi too while I’m at it.

The couple is currently seeking asylum in Canada due to having been squatters in an abandoned house and stiffing a hotel out of a bunch of money.  Well that’s what logic would tell you but the Quaids argue that star whackers, a group of unidentified persons that are systematically murdering celebrities, are what they’re hiding from and not law enforcement! You can read all about this conspiracy theory from our previous post based on a Good Morning America interview here.

Sometimes just going on ABC and informing America about a problem is not enough so Randy has penned a rock-n-roll tune aptly called “Star Whackers” and debuted it March 18th at a show with his backup band called The Fugitives in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Here is a crowd shot of the entire performance of “Star Whackers” that should help spread the gospel on these a-lister murdering machines.  I will follow the clip with the full lyrics so there is no doubt about Randy’s message:

Star Whackers

Arrest your a$$ only in DMZ
Just for being a celebrity
Steal your name so they can sell your ads
Make up lots of lies to drive you mad

Create a public scandal in your name
Tell the whole world that you’re to blame
Spin you like a load of dirty clothes
To everyone you’re life fully exposed

Knock off all your kids and all your heirs
Just so they can spend your money like it’s theirs
When it’s all gone and there’s no more
You’ll wonder what the hell it was all for

TALKING ABOUT WHACKERS! WHACKERS
Those cheesy star whackers WHACKERS
To hell with fact checkers WHACKERS, those sleazy star whackers WHACKERS

If they have the need for you to die
That will be a cinch easy as pie
They have lots of ways for them to kill
Taken drug prescriptions can be filled

Or maybe squeeze your balls with a nylon rope
Hang you in the closet like an overcoat
Or take you and your lover for a ride
So they can stage a murder-suicide

I’M TALKING ABOUT WHACKERS WHACKERS
Those cheesy star whackers WHACKERS
Career hijackers WHACKERS, those sleazy star whackers WHACKERS

When you feel your heart start to explode
You’ll be the number one you tip down low
When you’re more famous when you die
They’ll have more ways to suck you dry

Put your name and face on all the mags
Lots of pictures of your body bag
When you’re good and dead and have no say
They’ll sell your vital organs on eBay

I’M TALKING ABOUT WHACKERS, WHACKERS
Those cheesy star whackers, WHACKERS
They’re dirt toe taggers WHACKERS, those cheesy star whackers WHACKERS

Those sleazy star whackers, WHACKERS

The world, well at least the world of celebrities NEED to hear this important song. We at Starcasm beg of Randy to release it on iTunes or whatever non star whacker infiltrated media platform he approves of.

You can catch a high quality version of the video here that sadly wasn’t available for embedding.