On the Jan. 28 episode of My Strange Addiction (TLC), viewers met Adam Guerra, a man who estimates he has spent $150,000 to look like Madonna, and Kyle Jones, a 31-year-old who only dates senior citizens. The episode, aptly titled “Grandma Lover/Addicted to Being Madonna,” took us through a sort of offbeat day-in-the-life-of with Kyle and Adam, who aren’t affiliated in any way except for now both being My Strange Addiction alum.
My Strange Addiction: Grandma Lover/Kyle
Through the magic of TV, we got to tag along on a date between Kyle and a woman he met on an online dating site. She was two and a half times his age, and looked it, but Kyle was smitten. It was an interesting pairing, but to each their own.
Kyle’s 61-year-old ex-girlfriend Jackie arrived to visit with Kyle during the episode. She explained to the camera they are “best friends,” but that she is too young for Kyle. Dude just really likes older women; his oldest girlfriend was 91 years old. I have to wonder if this guy carries liability insurance – I mean, most guys break hearts, but Kyle’s probably broken a few hips by now, and the ladies’ Medicare probably only covers so much of claims that just read, “Young sex.”
Kyle moved to Florida after filming wrapped, just in case you were wondering. He’s currently “dating several women,” so if you’ve packed Grandma off to Boca or Miami in the last year, there’s a chance Kyle might be having his way with her right now. How’s that for a mental image? Think that’s bad? Try this out for size – a direct quote from the Cacoon Casanova himself: “I love dentures. Ladies, telling your man you have dentures won’t turn him off. It’ll put a smile on his face. It’ll put a smile in his pants.” Oh my.
This was still an easier episode to stomach than that couple who likes to indulge in coffee enemas 3,472 times per day. (OK, I’m exaggerating, but not by a whole lot.)
My Strange Addiction: Madonna Addict/Adam
Though his mother doesn’t approve and his boyfriend isn’t a fan, Adam wanted to be like Madonna. Actually, he wanted to be Madonna. He has spent $75,000 on plastic surgery and another $100,000 on clothes and costumes inspired by looks the Material Girl has worn. (Hey, Mom: if you thought this Madonna thing was a tough pill to swallow, what if your son was into pony play instead?! Try explaining that to your book club…)
During an emotional dance therapy session with life coach and dancer Carlton Wilborn, Carlton asked him, “Where is Adam inside of all this? Why is Adam not happy being Adam?” Adam’s response was genuine and matter-of-fact. “Adam doesn’t know Adam,” he said, appearing suddenly sad.
At the end of the session, Carlton had Adam look in the mirror and asked him if he would say he was Madonna. “I am Madonna,” he said. “I am Madonna, but I want to be Adam,” Adam said as he tore his blond wig off and began to cry.
Between this emotional moment and an It’s-me-or-Madonna ultimatum levied on him by his boyfriend earlier in the episode, Adam decided to give up his Madonna obsession and now lives as himself full-time. I mean, it’s what the little white letters on the black background said as the show ended, so it must be true, right? I’m 100% sure Adam has gotten rid of every wig. And all the shoes. And the pointy bras. Well, maybe more like 95% sure. (Okay, it’s actually a total 50-50.)
While I’m on the subject of My Strange Addiction … Remember Davecat? Oh, I think you do. I think you remember Davecat. Who could forget Davecat and his love doll? Please to enjoy this stroll down memory lane: