Why are Blac Chyna and Rob still together? (Short answer: It’s for the product placements)

Blac Chyna Host at 1 Oak Nightclub

Blac Chyna has been responsible for a host of bad Kardashian-related press over the past few weeks. For example, once Kylie (finally) cast Tyga aside like Andy’s toys on the conveyor belt to the incinerator but before the aliens rescued them, Blac was apparently looking to get her baby daddy back so the two of them could laugh at the Karashians together. And over the past couple of weeks, rumors have consistently suggested that Blac is looking to secure a multi-million dollar book deal for a tell-all about her time with the Kardashians, possibly so she can “bring the whole family down.”

So it was a bit surprising to see Kardashian home network E! pull an about-face recently and allege that things are practically hunky-dory between Blac and Rob, currently best known for having a baby together because their contract said to. The network is now claiming that the two are “co-parenting and working on themselves,” and are “more cordial now than they have been” (which shouldn’t be too hard).

But E!’s take comes on the heels of another new report, and according to the alternate take things between Blac and the Kardashian family have actually never been worse. In fact, the second report says that Kris is “so angry with her daughter-in-law”–presumably for trying to poach the family name–”that she’s willing to risk her empire just to get revenge.” The report’s source says that Blac and Rob haven’t begun filming Rob & Chyna season two because a) “Kris is controlling everything” and b) “That show got huge ratings [but] KUWTK is tanking in the ratings.”

So the implication is that Kris is delaying filming on Rob & Chyna simply out of spite, and not because the show’s ratings got steadily worse as its truncated first season progressed or because the show was altogether “painfully dull,” “astoundingly depressing,” and “a cure for insomnia so potent, the Food and Drug Administration should regulate it.” And also because the story of two former lovers coming together civilly so they can raise the one child they squeezed out is called–emphasis Dlisted’s–ADULTHOOD, and it does not good reality TV make. Rather, it is the stuff of joint product placements. And yes, if there was any doubt before, let it be clear that it’s Rob’s job to echo Blac’s endorsements and not the other way around:

I love it when chyna wears her @fashionnova jeans??

A post shared by ROBERT KARDASHIAN (@robkardashian) on

Loving chyna in her @fashionnova fit ? Ladies, Follow & Shop @fashionnova to see what the hype is all about?

A post shared by ROBERT KARDASHIAN (@robkardashian) on

So basically what’s going on is Rob and Chyna are a terrible match romantically, but will always be linked by gossip and biology because they stuck it out long enough to have a baby together. They are now, officially, the new Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick of the family. Which might make Kourtney and Scott the new Kris and OJ–and Kris some sort of uncharted Miss Havisham figure? Unless Corey Gamble actually does propose with the ring Kris gave him the money to buy. Either way, we’re through the looking glass here.

(Photo credits: Why are Blac Chyna and Rob still together via Instagram, Judy Eddy / WENN.com)

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