BEFORE THE 90 DAYS Lisa calling Usman the N word controversy recap

Lisa and Usman

90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days star “Baby Girl Lisa” Hamme is coming under fire for allegedly calling her husband Usman “Sojaboy” Umar the “N” word. Lisa has since sort of apologized for saying it, and Usman also apologized for her use of the term. But, when did Lisa actually say it? Where did this all start?

Just like most of the Before the 90 Days news from the past week and a half, this all started with the raw and unedited 10-hour Couples Tell All video from the second day of filming remotely on May 2. For some reason, the footage was still available as an unlisted YouTube video five days later, and a a fan stumbled on the link in one of the cast members’ playlists. (You can get the full story on how the leak happened here.)

The Day 2 taping included the segments with Lisa and Usman. We previously reported on Usman talking about his plans to marry additional wives if Lisa cannot provide him with a child (and Lisa apparently being OK with that), as well as Baby Girl Lisa’s EPIC clash with her co-star “Big Ed” Brown.

The topic of Lisa’s use of the derogatory term is brought up by Usman while he is talking about Lisa’s propensity for calling him all sorts of things:

The point I want to bring out is I want to know, PLEASE, I want all the American ladies should tell me about this. Is that how every American lady behave? Whenever you get angry, you say things that are totally — there are some things that Lisa said said to me that even to my enemy I cannot say that. Even my own enemy! Lisa call me any name. I can’t call you names.

I want to point out that the ENTIRE time Usman is talking, Lisa is trying to talk over him with threats.

Usman soldiers on — or sojas on:

If you really thought that you loved me, why would you…call me names? Of recent, last week you say, you call me n***er. Which I know it is totally inappropriate in America. But you call me n***er. I don’t even get angry about that because I am used to how you are behaving.

Lisa’s continued attempts to interrupt Usman finally work, and she steers the conversation towards the recent online drama between herself and some woman that allegedly slid into Usman’s DMs. (To be honest, I haven’t kept up with that crazy drama on social media, so I can’t help with the context too much.)

“No! Let’s see where this goes,” Lisa begins. “You just opened that can of worms, alright? If that b*tch comes for me because of you, it’s gonna get real ugly. I’m telling you now. I just got another message while I was on break. I’m telling you, I’ve had enough of the bulls**t. You open this f**king can of worms, then I get this hate mail coming to my house while your ass is sitting in Nigeria, you and I are gonna have big drama!”

Usman tries to reel the conversation back in and make it something potentially productive, which he does throughout the leaked Tell All footage — with very little success.

From Usman:

Lisa. You are my wife. I got married to you. I presented you to my family. You are the first lady that I have ever presented to any of my friends and even my family that this is the lady that I want to get married to. And I got married to you. Please, I want to beg you…allow us to discuss about — not because I want to divorce you or for you to divorce me — just to get the clarification if I’m wrong in any way, so that I will know that I am wrong in any way and I will correct it. If you are wrong in any way, then you listen to the people and take advice if you really want us to be together. That is what I think is right to do. Not that I should be saying what you want me to say, or you should be saying what I want you to say. Let’s be honest with each other.

Usman’s plea for a peaceful and productive conversation went unheeded by Lisa.

As you would imagine, Usman’s claims that Lisa called him the “N” word caused quite the buzz among fans of the show. Lisa was inundated with comments and questions about it, and she responded during a recent Instagram live session.

“To the ones who keep saying I’m racist. Look, I used the wrong word,” Lisa said. “I apologized it was on my post. But you guys want to raw d*g it to no end. Go right ahead the truth will come out.” She then added: “When the truth comes out, don’t come to me and apologize.” I’m not sure what this “truth” is that would merit her use of that term, but I’ll certainly stay tuned to find out.

UPDATE – Here is the actual Lisa apology video. Please excuse Dr. Baby Girl’s misuse of her mask:

Meanwhile, Usman also issued an apology for Lisa’s use of the word. Here is his full statement, shared as a caption to a photo of himself posted to Instagram on Thursday:

Hello Everyone my name is Usman a.k.a SOJABOY from 90Days Fiance, I got a lot of DMs from my FANS and FRNDS getting so much worry about the name I was call from LISA (the N word) first of all I wana say Sorry to all African Americans ( Black Americans ) and to all my fans that feel bad and disgrace about that and I’m sorry and I promise you things are going to be better.

Stay Safe and Just know that SOJABOY love you so much and I appreciate you 🙏🙏🙏

#connect #Sojaboy #90daysfiance #SojasNations

It’s unclear at this point if TLC plans to use the footage about Lisa’s use of the word when they air the edited version of the 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days Season 4 Couples Tell All in a few weeks.

Here are some links to our coverage of the Before the 90 Days Tell All leak:

Big Ed says Lisa treated Usman ‘like a little slave’, Lisa says Big Ed is a ‘f**king pervert’ who ‘has been grooming women’ in leaked Tell All video

Where did people watch the Before the 90 Days Tell All early? How did it leak?

HUGE David and Lana spoilers from this season and the Tell All!

Lisa is ‘OK’ with Usman having more wives

Tell All spoilers for Ed, Rose, Ash, Avery, Erika & Stephanie

Geoffrey & Varya update and Tell All spoilers

Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)

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