Jesse James continues to overshare and compare Sandra Bullock and Kat von D

Jesse James, who last year was hiding under a rock when his tattooed mistress Bombshell McGee (who may, or may not have been a white supremist) outed their relationship immediately after Jesse’s then-wife Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for The Blind Side and they adopted a black baby together (who is The Cutest! BTW). Sometimes real life feels like a cheeky, ironic soap opera farce, but yet, it goes on.

Now Jesse has come out from under his rock, and his standing on top of it, shouting. He’s now engaged Kat von D, who is covered in tattoos like Bombshell, but is much smarter, sweeter, and classier. At first Kat (who is a talented tattoo artist, and has her own reality show, much like Jesse used to have a reality show about his chopper business) denied that she was dating Jesse last year, even though they started showing up at events together. James himself is not as coy. In fact, he wrote a friggin’ tell-all book!

James claims in his memoir American Outlaw that his infidelity was the result of him asserting his independence against Sandra trying to assimilate him to “her world” of award shows and hanging out with her friends. He’s before said that he “wanted to get caught,” and that he sabotaged his relationship with Bullock because he didn’t think she actually loved him. (This seems to support Bombshell McGee’s claim that James told her his marriage to Sandra was a sham.)

He also stopped by Howard Stern to further humiliate Sandra by revealing that, in his humble opinion, Kat von D is “100 percent” better in bed than ex-wife Sandra. But that was only scraping over no-doubt fresh wounds from when he previously publicly said that Kat was the sweetest person he’s ever known.

Kat is proving that she is, indeed, a okay gal by pretty much staying out the mess publicly. She gushes about James from time-to-time, but keeps her thoughts and opinions about Sandra and his past relationships to herself.

James is pretty smitten with her, and told Howard Stern, that if Kat ever cheated, he’d forgive her and keep loving her anyway. Given his track record, it might be pretty hypocritical for him to react any other way.

This whole situation is pretty crazy, but everyone seems to be settling down okay. Sandra has adorable Louis, and hopefully her next beau will already be house-trained, and won’t have an identity crisis when he has to take a shower and put on a suit for a movie premiere.