Sometimes peeps just have horrible ideas and I understand that. It does seem a little disturbing when a bad concept springs forth in the area of which you are supposed to be a professional. This is the case for Modern Family’s brunette bombshell Sofia Vergara’s former publicist.
In an interview with Health magazine, because girl is “healthy” amirite, she revealed that she used to struggle with her 34 DD cup size. This is when Sofia’s former, I will reiterate former, publicist had a brilliant idea. Vergara stated:
“When I moved to America, I was more voluptuous, and I felt a little different. My publicist told me, ‘I think you should just reduce your boobs because nobody’s going to take you seriously here.'”
This reminds me of a story in which Johnny Cash told Roy Orbison to quit singing in that signature high tone and that it would never work. If I can forgive Cash I guess I can forgive this former publicist. Even if we are talking about Sofia’s beautiful curves.
At least we can learn from this dude’s mistake. When your crew is giving you advice it’s always best to double-check that with momma and Sofia’s knew this would’ve been a travesty.
“She was like, ‘God is going to punish you! You can’t cut your boobs!’ I don’t regret not doing it, because now it’s become a big part of my character on Modern Family.”
I want to give Sofia’s momma a big ol’ squeeze, right after I give Sofia one of course. All kidding about my Vergara-obsession aside, the Latin star did have body issues as a young woman but has grown to appreciate what was given to her.
“I’m a Latin woman: I’m voluptuous, I’m loud, I’m exactly what a Latin woman is. I prefer to be called that than, ‘You’re boring; you have a flat ass!'”
Sofia, we prefer it too.
You know, I think we should make a game out of this. I challenge you guys to be Sofia Vergara’s bad idea former publicist. I’ll start with a few:
-> Hey Justin Bieber, you shouldn’t do YouTube videos, that’ll go nowhere.
-> Listen Taylor Swift. I just don’t think folks will want to hear you sing about your relationships.
-> Hey J.K. Rowling, I wouldn’t suggest letting Hollywood make movies out of those Harry Potter books of yours.
Donal Trump I need your help in recapping what happened to this former publicist: