John Balmer, 50, is solely to blame for what happened to him at the K-Mart there in Pasco County FL. He was in possession of both methamphetamine and marijuana at the same time that he was wearing a T-shirt that had the following words written on it: “WHO NEEDS DRUGS.” Underneath that, in tinier print, the shirt read “No, seriously, I have drugs.” Which is not a condemnation into itself–but when there are police around, and Balmer started acting all shifty-eyed, like there were shady doins of which he was a part, it was really only a matter of time before he got nabbed.
According to the police, what happened is that Balmer was standing in line waiting to be checked out when he turned and attempted to hand a bag full of drugs to the man standing in line behind him. The man–who was not wearing a T-shirt advertising his possession of illegal substances–declined to take the bag. So Balmer, quick thinker that he is, simply dropped the bag on the ground. (Reports that he then put his hands in his pockets and started whistling could not be confirmed.) He did, however, pay for his items before attempting to leave the store, at which point the Hudson FL police (who were standing there sipping on slushees the whole time) apprehended him.
The bag contained both marijuana (a lot!) and meth (enough), and so Balmer was charged with two felony counts of possession of an illegal substance.
(Photo credit: Pasco County Sheriff’s Office)