BEFORE THE 90 DAYS Darcey Silva releases song ‘Lock Your Number’ with sister Stacey

Move over Evelyn Cormier and Dirt Bourdain, there’s a new musical tour de force taking over the 90 Day Fianceverse! Darcey Silva and her sister Stacey Silva have just dropped a brand new single that has all the magical ingredients required to become the kitschy smash hit of the Summer of 2018!

One of those magical ingredients is a title that no one seems to understand: “Lock Your Number.” Is that a precautionary measure to avoid receiving unwanted phone calls and/or scrotographs from guys you met at the club? Or perhaps it’s the opposite, and a first-person account of what to do when you get the digits of Mr. or Mrs. Right?

We took out $1.29 from the Starcasm petty cash fund and downloaded the song from CDBaby.com to see if the lyrics provided a little clarity. That they did! As it turns out, the lyrics don’t even include the phrase “lock your number,” but instead “lock my number.” Here’s an excerpt:

See that guy just staring at me
To my surprise I like what I see
So lock my number in your phone
Lock my number in your phone
?????
Text me soon as you get home
Text me soon as you get home
Maybe we can get it on

Lock, lock, lock it
Lock my number in your phone
Keep this party
Going on, and on, and on

So it’s sort of the 2018 horny club version of Steely Dan’s “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.” Sort of.

Some more magical ingredients on the track include the heavy-handed use of autotune, as well as the random exclamations of the sisters’ fashion brand “House of Eleven” throughout the song. You can hear a small sample snippet on the CDBaby page, but you’re going to have to bust out your virtual coin purse for the full Monty because it is currently not available to stream.

All kidding aside, the track is pretty bad — but bad enough to be good. As I listened to it for the first time I couldn’t help but smile widely with a complete lack of disappointment. It will undoubtedly serve as the joy-inducing background music for pretty much every 90 Day Fiance show viewing party for years to come. I can envision a Rocky Horror Picture Show/The Room type phenomenon where everybody knows exactly where every “House of Eleven!” shout out occurs in the song, and they all join in each time — even if they’re in the middle of a conversation with someone. (I can dream right? “You’re tearing me apart, Darcey!“)

By the way, the 90 Day Beyonce image above is (of course) not the actual art for the single. Here it is:

Darcey spoke with In Touch about the single, and shed some light on just how great “Lock Your Phone” is. “We as The Silva Twins, Darcey and Stacey are inspired to bring the ultimate feeling of confidence to ones inner being and happiness to others,” she said. “This fun upbeat EDM pop/dance single makes you want to dance as soon as you hear it. It creates feelings of empowerment to enjoy life at any phase or age. While inspiring yourself and others to live and love life to the fullest and let go! While inspiring others to do the same!”

The song’s description on CDBaby echos Darcey’s praise: “Silva Twins decided to do the first single called ‘Lock your Number’ which is a fun Party dance song which has a very catchy appealing memorable hook that everyone can relate to.”

And for those of you (i.e. everyone) who relate to the song and want more of the Silva twins’ “very catchy appealing memorable hooks,” don’t worry! “These are the type of songs from our upcoming EP,” the description reveals. (Is anyone else hoping for a cover of Rick Springfield’s “Jesse’s Girl?”)

The song was released in a partnership with producer Freddie Rhone, and it isn’t the first time the trio have teamed up to lay down some hot wax! Darcey, Stacey and Freddie worked together on the song “Life Is A Movie” together for the soundtrack to Crackula Goes To Hollywood. I spent several days trying to track down a copy of that song while waiting for “Lock Your Number” to come out, but I had no luck digging one up. Crackula Goes To Hollywood the movie is available to watch on Amazon, however, so perhaps diehard Silva Twins fans can hear the track that way.

Now we all have to sit back and not only wait for the new Silva Twins songs to drop on their EP, but also the inevitable Jesse Meester music release. If you’re reading this Jesse, I suggest a cover of the Merle Haggard classic “Silver Wings” with just a slight alteration to make it “Silva Wings.” Take it away Merle….

Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)yahoo.com