Jenelle Eason will not be at the Teen Mom 2 Reunion, NYC balloon massacre avoided

It appears as though the Teen Mom 2 version of WWE Smackdown will not be happening this year as the show’s biggest dramagnet Jenelle Eason will not be attending the Reunion taping in New York City this weekend!

The scoop comes via The Ashley’s Reality Roundup, who reports that a major reason Jenelle will remain on The Land instead of making the trip to The Big Apple is because MTV refused to pay for her husband David Eason to make the trip with her.

“Jenelle wanted them to pay for David’s entire trip – travel and expenses – even though he’s not allowed on the set,” The Ashley’s source spills. “When [the producers] refused to agree to pay for David, Jenelle said she’s not coming.”

The source adds that the back-and-forth has been going on a for a while, but MTV is refusing to budge on negotiations.

A separate source confirms the report and says that production is already making plans assuming that Jenelle will just be Skyping in for her segment. “Everything is being set up on the set as if she’s not coming, because it’s super unlikely that she’s changing her mind at this point,” the source says.

As viewers of the current season of Teen Mom 2 are well aware, last season’s Reunion taping provided A LOT of drama, including some screaming matches as well as the tragic death of numerous innocent balloons. The Ashley’s source reveals that producers sort of had a Thunderdome idea in mind with the limited space available to the cast backstage, but things got a little crazier than expected.

“Last time MTV was kind of encouraging the drama by putting the girls around each other, but things got way out of control and dangerous, so they are going to try to keep things separate this time,” the source says. “Last reunion was a complete sh*t show so the producers are hoping that’s not the case this time around.”

I find it strange that the producers “are hoping that’s not the case this time around” when the Reunion drama has been the ONLY story line so far this season. I would imagine that as long as David was out of the picture, producers would go right back to putting the moms in close quarters in hopes of the entirety of Season 9A falling in their laps over the course of a weekend.

Speaking of Teen Mom 2 Reunion drama, I find it kind of silly that the moms caught up in the drama always blame the other moms. I figured it might be fun to do a little thought experiment to see which moms are truly drama-averse and which ones are bluffing fans — and possibly themselves. The experiment is VERY easy and simply requires you to imagine the five moms currently on the show being replaced with five moms with the same personality as just one of the current stars.

Here are the results I came up with, starting with the least drama and working my way to the most drama:

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CHELSEA HOUSKA

Five Chelsea Houskas with five Cole DeBoers would be a heckin’ good time with laughter and joy all around! The only sound louder than the laughter and fake fart noises would be the crickets coming from the show’s ratings because pretty much no one would be tuning in. (And I mean that in the greatest way possible! I don’t even know if I would tune in, but I would damn sure want to be there in person!) I would bet that the five Chelseas would be so close they would all move to the same city eventually.

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LEAH MESSER

When I imagine five Leah Messer-ish moms with their Corey Simms-ish and Jeremy Calvert-ish significant others, I have to admit that it seems like they would all get along pretty great — at this point anyways. I believe there would still be drama in their individual lives, but I feel confident that the Leahs themselves would be very close besties — even if one Leah told another Leah that the third Leah was going to Florida with her ex.

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KAIL LOWRY

Things take a big jump on the dramameter when going form Leah to Kail! If the show featured five moms exactly like Kail, I’m imaging that there would be two groups of two BFFs and a single Kail that had ZERO time for any of the other petty Kails. The amount of subtweeting alone would be incomprehensible! And you know those five Javis would be Kail hoppin’ all over the place. I can already see the behind-the-scenes Reunion scene in which Kail takes Executive Producer Larry aside and scolds him: “I’ve told you, I DO NOT like Kail, or Kail, or Kail, or Kail — and I DO NOT want to be around them!” All of this happens as we see two other Kails getting their makeup done. As the one Kail loudly complains, they just glance at each other and roll their eyes.

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BRIANA DEJESUS

Five moms like Briana would be CUH-RAZAY, but perhaps the best reality show of all the potential Teen Mom 2 Clone Wars shows. These Brianas (and their Brittany-ish sisters) would be CONSTANTLY going at each other — both in person, and on social media. And you know that they would all be trying to outdo the other with at least six trips a piece to Dr. Miami! There might actually be casualties from fans playing the Teen Mom 2 Reunion Drinking Game in which one of the drink-inducing moments is whenever one of the Brianas says “feeling some kind of way.”

JENELLE EASON

This would essentially be a reality show dramapocalypse, and not in a good way. I mean, just try to imagine five moms like Jenelle with their array of current “loves of their lives” including David Eason, Kieffer Delp, Courtland Rogers, Nathan Griffith, and Gary Head. And then we would have five grandmas like Barbara Evans to boot!? Yeah, this would last all of five minutes before someone got seriously injured and the show was off the air — simply not a feasible concept at all. Jenelle talks all the time about how the other moms are all about the drama, but she HAS TO realize that if the other moms were just like her that things would be a million times more dramastic. Come to think of it, that would actually be a very healthy thing for her to realize.

Well that was damn fun! I should point out that this fun exercise simply does not work if you try it with Teen Mom OG because there simply cannot be five different people like Farrah Abraham — it’s impossible. I guess if you actually cloned her, then maybe. But even then, my brain is too restricted by the limits of our actual reality to even imagine what that would be like. Five Amber Portwoods on the other hand… 😉

Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm.