If idle hands are the devil’s playthings (insert your own Josh Duggar reference here), then the Duggar family’s newest newlyweds are apparently setting an example for the rest of the family. According to Hollywood Gossip’s latest take, speculation about Joseph Duggar and Kendra Caldwell’s baby is spreading like molestation accusations among the Duggars’ fan base, primarily because the two have been enjoying the least-interesting honeymoon in their family’s peculiarly interesting honeymoon history.
Consider that Joy-Anna and Austin Forsyth “celebrated their marriage in Switzerland” after getting hitched last month, and that Jinger Duggar and Jeremy Vuolo “marked the occasion in New Zealand” after tying the knot in Australia. And Jessa and Ben went to France. (Amy Duggar also left Arkansas far behind for her Cancun honeymoon, whether or not the rest of the family wants to acknowledge it.) Joseph and Kendra, by contrast, decided to stay home and upload wedding rehearsal footage and oatmeal cookie baking tutorials to the family’s Facebook page.
So, naturally, they must’ve spent every other minute of their honeymoon doing it. From the article:
Naturally, that has Duggar obsessives jumping to conclusions left and right: “When’s the first baby due?” a fan asked in the comments section of their latest video. “[Kendra is] probably already pregnant.”
And that’s all it takes, folks! That one comment had fans off and running and jumping to wild conclusions about the state of Kendra’s uterus. By reading the latest comments, you’d think Joe and Kendra are already picking out names.
On the other hand, as Inquisitr points out, it looks like the two are too busy generating #content for the Duggars’ home network to whip up any carbon-based content of their own. “Joseph and Kendra seem preoccupied with making videos for TLC,” says their take, “and not enjoying their time together as husband and wife….While they have attracted attention for getting married “so young,” they are also provoking questions from Counting On fans on whether they have gone on a honeymoon.”
It seems like the real curiosity here is less the possibility of Kendra Caldwell’s baby being on the way already *or* the coverage of the speculation and more the speculation itself. Let’s not forget that these two have no responsibilities other than feeding TLC’s beast–and, now that they’re legal in the eyes of God, making the beast with two backs as much as possible. It can’t take that long to shoot an oatmeal cookie video, and it’s highly unlikely that they’re the ones who have to film it, edit it, and upload it. Two hormone-crazed near-virgins with the kind of sexual patience Joseph and Kendra have been forced into developing every minute of their lives since the onset of puberty should have no problem at all knocking out a worthwhile clip in a tight fifteen, then getting back to the sack where they belong.
Which is also kind of the whole point of a honeymoon, right? Exotic, non-Arkansasan locales are just a bonus backdrop for some non-stop f*cking. This is the first time in a Duggar’s life that sex is not only allowed, but encouraged. After the honeymoon, it’s back to the hellscape of life post-Josh, wherein the family cult can no longer be glossed over by a veneer of creepy, wholesome schlock. Let’s hope that Kendra is either pregnant or trying with a harlot’s vigor.
(Photo credits: Kendra Caldwell’s baby via Facebook)