VIDEOS Coonskin cap Carter Johnson tied for greatest eyewitness ever

After watching Antoine Dodson excitedly explain to peeps that they better hide their kids and wife because there was a rapist on the loose I thought to myself, “Never will thine eyes see such an amazing eyewitness again.”

That’s right I went all Biblical “thine” with my quote because the following clip of Floridian, yes this is Florida, Carter Johnson and his coonskin cap explaining what happened during a high speed chase changed my life. I have seen the southern truth and it is awash in Dukes of Hazzard and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and has thusly equaled the greatness that will always be Dodson.

Carter Johnson, I freaking love you man:

The set up for that impossibly wonderful and way too brief clip of Carter Johnson came after a man robbed a Credit Union in Panama City, FL and tried to get away but crashed. I grew up in PC – the town you drive through on the way to Panama City Beach and man it looks like things haven’t changed much! The news agency who filed the report is WMBB which stands for World’s Most Beautiful Beaches.

I managed to hunt down the full clip via their site:

Here is Carter’s direct quote:

He came in Dewksa Hazerd, gitnit, diggin’ li’ ‘at, li’ dale joonyer, and he hook’d up n’ shot for’erd, n’ when hook’d up n’ shot for’erd ‘at’s when ‘e came n’, n’ n’ hit–