VIDEO PHOTOS Madonna answers awkward and lame questions at Super Bowl XLVI press conference

Say what you will about the 4th of July, Super Bowl Sunday is quickly becoming the biggest All-American holiday! This year we’ll have Madonna, puppies, more puppies, and even the return of Ferris Beuller. Oh yeah, and a football game.

As part of the pre-Super Bowl XLVI media frenzy, halftime performer (and reigning Queen of Pop) Madonna spoke to a crowd at a press conference in Indianapolis earlier today. The 53-year-old singer/director/writer/producer looked fandamtastic in a sleeveless black pin stripe top and matching pants with a pair of flashback fingerless gloves reminiscent of when she crashed onto the pop scene in the early 1980s.

Madonna’s entrance came after a cheesy intro that included, “We want to thank our lucky star that we have the material girl to get us in the groove this Sunday.” She briefly posed for photos before settling behind the podium to answer questions from the audience, most of which ranged from frustratingly vague (“How much help do you get?”) to downright ridiculous (“So, I’m assuming no kiss after this?”)

Madonna kept her cool though, gracefully taking hyperbolic praise before politely answering the afore-mentioned lame questions. Here is a complete video of the press conference, in which Madonna comes out right around the 4:00 mark, followed by a transcript of some of the questions and answers:

Madonna was first asked about how stressful it was to prepare for the performance.

“I have to say that in the over 25 years of performing that I’ve done, I have never worked so hard or been so scrupulous or detail-oriented or freaked out as much as I have maintaining my sanity and trying to make the most amazing show for the Super Bowl.”

The next person wanted to know how she was holding up physically after revealing at the W.E. premiere in New York City that rehearsal was grueling and that she had a pulled hamstring among other things.

“My nose is healed. I’m OK. Lots of warm-ups and taping and ultrasound. I feel lik eI’m one of the football players right now with all the physical therapy that I have to do. But I’m good. Mind over matter.”

Who will you be dedicating your performance to?

“I want to dedicate my show tonight to my father because I was raised in the Midwest, and he is the personification of Midwestern values. He gave me the work ethic that I have, so if I’m a hard working girl, that never stops, it’s because of him. And also, I’m sure of all the things that I’ve ever done in my life, this would be the thing he’s most excited about. [laughs]”

Tampa Bay Buccaneer and OCNN correspond Gerald McCoy had a funny exchange as he introduced himself by stating, “Hello. I’m only 23 but I love you.”

To which Madonna laughed and responded with, “I have love for 23 year olds.”

Then things turned a little lot awkward.

Gerald: “I have two questions. I would be wrong if I didn’t ask – Whewwwww! OK, people you ready?”

Madonna: “Please don’t ask a stupid question.”

Gerald: “No, I won’t. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t. First question. I am a young guy, and you are still one of the hottest artists out. You are an icon and you are the definition of greatness, and you’ve withstood the test of time. Can you give advice to a guy in his young career? Please?”

Madonna: “Is this directed to you?”

Gerald: “Me.”

Madonna: “Wow. OK. Well, If you don’t believe in what you’re doing and you don’t have passion for what you’re doing then quit right now because anything worth having and accomplishing is going to be hard. And there’s going to be a lot of people trying to bring you down and tell you ‘you can’t.’ So, have faith in yourself. That’s number one. And number two, don’t take anything personally.”

Gerald: “Great. So I’m assuming no kiss after this?”

Madonna: “No”

Gerald: “OK.”

She was then asked if there would be any surprise guests or performers.

“I really don’t want to blow the surprises. I want people to be knocked out of their seats from beginning to end and so I just want to keep that surprise, and keep that anticipation going. Sorry.”

Next was a question wondering if she would consider being one of the judges on X Factor, to which Madonna replied, “I think I have enough jobs. But thank you for thinking of me, if you did Simon.”

Madonna was then asked to choose between invitations from Eli Manning and Tom Brady (the person asking the question didn’t have a mic in the beginning, so I’m not sure exactly what the invitations were for).

“I have to say Eli because he live in New York, and I don’t want him to waste gas.”

So what about the possibility of a wardrobe malfunction, a-la Janet Jackson?

“Great attention to detail has been paid to my wardrobe. There will be no wardrobe malfunction. Promise.”

Madonna would eventually reveal a little bit about what she will performing by saying, “I will be singing three old songs and one new one.” (With the “new” one more than likely being her brand new single “Give Me All Your Luvin'”)

Some of the other questions she answered included is she a big sports fan, how does she like Indianapolis, and does Alex Rodriguez really have a centaur painting of himself?

Madonna concluded by doing a Victor Cruz touchdown salsa dance for the audience. As the internet would say, FTW!

So who’s excited about Sunday?!? Are you ready for some football MADONNA?!?

Photos: Splash News