Don’t be too alarmed, parents of America. But, Fox News has an extra special report all about how Spring Break (aka, the Devil’s Vacation) has invaded our great nation.
“One time I went to Cancun in college, and I was appalled at what I saw. This is now here in AMERICA. Kids are doing this down in Florida,” investigative journalist Ainsley Earhardt said in a video titled “Hannity Uncovers Wild Behavior on Spring Break in Florida.”
During Ainsley’s time down in Panama City, Florida, the television crew had no trouble finding spring breakers to exploit.
“We saw someone snortin’ cocaine off a girl’s a**hole,” revealed one bikini-clad girl. (She’s already earned a “cuh-caine” meme based on this comment.)
One guy with a Michelob Light visor boasted about openly smoking marijuana on the beach, but hasn’t been arrested “yet.”
Another girl apparently confused the Fox News camera people for Girls Gone Wild crew and flashed the camera.
The purpose of the report was, seemingly, to get viewers to take a break from their bridge parties, clutch their pearls and say a quick prayer for the future of America.
In all reality, the bigger story shouldn’t be that Spring Break is invading America, but that college students aren’t in the least bit concerned with their health, safety or criminal violations. Instead, Ainsley and host Sean Hannity only briefly feigned concern for the kids — while humiliating them on a national network. Then they spent 30 seconds discussing how beer funnels work.