90 Day Fiance: The Other Way star Daniele Gates is drawing a lot of criticism after this week’s episode in which she and Yohan got into an argument about his ex’s abortion. Daniele took to Instagram to respond to the negativity with a series of short videos in which she argued that fans are only criticizing her because they lack her confidence.
In case you missed it, Yohan revealed to Daniele’s friend that one of his exes had gotten pregnant and later had an abortion. Daniele was surprised to hear this. Yohan had told her about the pregnancy and that his ex “lost” the baby, but he didn’t specify that it was an abortion.
Later in the episode, Daniele confronted Yohan about being a “liar” as she insisted that saying his ex lost the baby was not the same thing as saying she had an abortion. Yohan clearly didn’t understand what Daniele was upset about because he had told her about the pregnancy and losing the baby.
Daniele refused to budge. She even told Yohan to “shut the f*** up while I am talking” at one point, before calling him “toxic.” She then got emotional and expressed her frustration at Yohan for not having more sympathy after seeing her crying.
Many fans didn’t understand why Daniele was so upset. Many were also put off by her manipulative tactic of playing the verbally abusive aggressor, and then being upset at Yohan for not being sympathetic when she got emotional. Instead, Yohan remained confident that he hadn’t done anything wrong.
That should help set the table for Daniele’s “teachable moments” Instagram story videos, which are transcribed below.
Daniele never told Yohan they would live in the US?
Every once in a while something happens on 90 Day Fiance that I feel like is a teachable moment, so I am going to share some teachable moments from this week for you.
The first thing I want to share is that Yohan and I are on a show called 90 Day: The Other Way. The premise of The Other Way is that the American partner moves to another country to live with their foreign-born partner. If anyone can find a clip from Love In Paradise or 90 Day: The Other Way where I said that I was taking Yohan to the United States and that we were going to live here, please let me know, because I’m pretty sure that is the premise of the original 90 Day Fiance where someone applies for a K-2 visa and brings their partner over.
That is not the show that were on because that was never the plan. If someone has a clip where that was the plan, please let me know. That’s the first thing.
It seems ridiculous to me that Daniele is judging viewers because they believe the plan was for Yohan to eventually move to the United States because that is EXACTLY what their story line is on the show.
Daniele herself says that the plan was to live in the Dominican Republic for a year or so, and then move to the United States. They are on The Other Way because Daniele changed her mind. Plus, they likely would have been on The Other Way even if they were just in the Dominican Republic for a year. (See: Paul and Karine.)
Here she is saying that the original plan was to get a spousal visa for Yohan so he could move to the US:
Visa backlog due to COVID
The second thing I want you to do, I want you to use the Google, and I want you to Google when the American consulate in Dominican Republic closed for COVID, and when the American consulate in Dominican Republic re-opened for COVID. Because it was closed for almost two years, OK? And when the consulate’s closed, there’s no visa appointments, there’s no traveling, there’s no tourism, there’s no spousal visas, there’s no none of that, OK?
And when it re-opens, you have a backlog for everybody who applied before COVID. And so that backlog is years long. And if you don’t believe me, you can call the consulate, or you can go to the website and figure out how long it takes to get an appointment, or what the average time for a visa is. you can call a lawyer right now who’s dealing with Dominican Republic.
So, you can do all of those things on your own without inundating my DMs for my business.
Haters are jealous of Daniele’s confidence
And then the last thing that I want to say, and this is going to be the hardest part for you, is that if you find me particularly triggering, or you hate my guts, or you want me dead, or every time I’m on the television you’re, like, ‘ARRRGHGHGGH 😡,’ it’s because there’s something in me that you want and you can’t have it. And I’ll tell you what it is…
Because you’re looking at the TV and you’re, like, ‘Who is this little b*tch? She thinks she’s hot sh*t. Well, she’s a dwarf. She’s too fat. She doesn’t do yoga.’ If that’s you, that’s because I’m walking around, like, who the f*** I am, like I know my worth, like I know what I bring to the table, and you can’t do that because you’re too stuck in the idea that patriarchy is culture. Or misogyny is culture. And because you believe that, you’ll never be me! You’ll never be me because I know my worth and I assert it.
Here’s a little thought experiment. Imagine if an older man (you can use other 90 Day cast members like Big Ed, Ricky, or Paul if it helps) got married to a younger woman in the Domican Republic with the agreement that he would apply for a spousal visa and they would eventually try to move to the United States.
The man later decides to pull the rug on the idea of moving to the United States because it is too expensive. And keep in mind, he is constantly preaching to his wife about financial responsibility, despite the fact that he recently filed for bankruptcy with more than $220,000 in liabilities.
#90DayFiance #TheOtherWay Daniele shouldn't be lecturing Yohan about spreadsheets! According to her 2022 bankruptcy filing, Daniele's monthly expenses were $1,300 more than her monthly income. https://t.co/YPndpYxMa9
— Starcasm (@starcasm) February 6, 2023
The wife previously revealed that she had gotten pregnant with another man, but she lost the baby. He finds out later that she had an abortion. He gets angry at her for not being specific about how her baby died, tells her to shut the f*** up while he’s talking, and calls her toxic. Then he starts getting emotional. Then he gets upset that his wife isn’t sympathetic.
I don’t think fans would like that guy at all. And it wouldn’t be because they’re “too stuck in the idea that patriarchy is culture. Or misogyny is culture.”
On another note, confidence is not inherently a good thing — especially in a relationship. Knowing your worth is certainly important, but so is humility and empathy.
That being said, people going after Daniele because of her physical appearance are terrible.
Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)yahoo.com