DLISTED – Apparently Dutchess Meghan violated thousands of millennia of royal protocol by holding Prince Harry’s elbow at a public event yesterday. She also crossed her legs at the knees before realizing her heinous mistake and re-crossing them at the ankles. Blackmail forthcoming
CELEBITCHY – Kylie Jenner got real about her post-pregnancy body, saying that it actually only looks like she “bounced back super fast” because Instagram isn’t real life. She also, in a humblebrag for the ages, managed to reveal that her boobs are three times bigger than they used to be
VOX – All twelve of the Thai boys and their soccer coach made it out of the cave alive! Here’s how they did it
JEZEBEL – An Ode on ‘Hurtling Towards Middle Age’
THE BLEMISH – Billy Dee Williams is going to reprise his role as Lando Calrissian in the upcoming ninth Star Wars movie. Which is great and all, except he is definitely going to get killed late in the film and we are definitely not going to see his and Han Solo’s force ghosts gallivanting about space and causing mischief in the spin-off we all want but none of us deserve
PAJIBA – Did you know it was Cow Appreciation Day yesterday? Me either! Here are some cows
REALITY TEA – RHOC star Gina Kirchenheiter has officially filed for divorce from her husband Mathew, whose “crazy travel schedule basically left her a single mom”
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Former 16 and Pregnant star Kayla Jordan gave birth to her third child two months after getting married, congrats!
THE BLAST – This can’t possibly be Gene Simmons’ *first* sexual harassment lawsuit, right? Of the decade or the year (or possibly the month)
LAINEY GOSSIP – This viral meme is extra exhausting
(Photo credit: Dutchess Meghan shows affection via Matt Sprake / SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. If you have a tip for him, reach out by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter at @john_starcasm.