BEFORE THE 90 DAYS Jesse says Darcey initially sent him ‘a lot younger’ photos & got drunk often their 1st week together

Before the 90 Days Darcey Silva and Jesse Meester Titanic

90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days star Jesse Meester recently appeared on the Reality Life with Kate Casey podcast during which he reveals that he met Darcey on a networking app he was using to find potential customers for his personal trainer business. He also adds that he only complained about Darcey’s drinking after multiple incidents during their first week together, including one in which she fell in a bush and they had to call police to find her.

Kate asks Jesse about how he and Darcey met, given how unique their match seemed to be with the distance between them geographically and in their ages. Here is Jesse’s response:

I was on a networking app. I never used — even though people think that — I never actually used any dating apps. I was on a networking app and there’s [a feature you have to pay for] to look international, for if you want to date, if you want to network, whatever. And I just used it to get in contact with people that wanted personal training, so that was great.

And then suddenly I got a message from the US that was her. And I was like “Wow!” I didn’t know people could find me here from the US.

Kate asks Jesse what the app was, and he says that he thinks it was Inner Circle. In contrast with how Jesse described the platform on which he first met Darcey, the Inner Circle app describes itself as “a selective dating app that connects ambitious, like-minded people.” In other words, it is a dating app.

More from Jesse:

So we just started chatting and I got to see pictures and stuff that were a lot younger — like ten to fifteen years…I didn’t know her at that time, so I was like “Hey, she’s a beautiful woman and seems nice.” And we started chatting and calling. And then she started talking about this show format and that’s how, you know, it started from there.

We started talking with the casting agent, and first I was a little bit…I have to be honest…I didn’t know the show before, so it was all new for me. And I was not sure if, you know — it was like if — because it was different from what I used to do, which was mainly just stand-in acting, gigs, commercials, anything like that, even movies. You know, it’s a whole different segment and I was like, “I don’t know the show. You know? Are they going to show the real deal or is it going to be edited or scripted?”

All these answers I didn’t really have at the beginning, but this is something that she really wanted…And then I was like, if we really love each other and if this is something that is going to spark other people [who] will watch us, and show an inspiring love story, I think that is great.

Kate interrupts to ask Jesse if he ever Googled Darcey, pointing out that she had previously pitched a reality show with her sister Stacey Silva titled The Twin Life and appeared on Million Dollar Matchmaker. And if he had, were those reality show aspirations a red flag for him?

“I found out later,” Jesse admits. “That was my mistake. I found out a lot later. A lot actually. Because I found out that I was also not the only one she was talking to…and that’s also my mistake.”

In addition to talking about how he and Darcey first met, Jesse also addressed how the show makes it look as though he is attempting to control Darcey in numerous ways, including her drinking and her presence on social media. “I will never, ever tell you what to do,” Jesse explains. “The only thing, when I did it with the alcohol moment, was when I first met her in the first week,” he continues. “The first time you’re like, ‘Alright, you know, she was drunk. It’s OK.’ But then the second time, and the third time you’re like, ‘Hey, you know, maybe you should just stop drinking, and if you keep doing that, I’m out.'”

Before the 90 Days Jesse Darcey drunk scene

Jesse explains that the situation he described can be perceived differently when edited for television. “If you only saw that then you’re like, ‘Oh, he’s controlling.'” He points out that Darcey “just wasn’t drunk one time” and reveals that she once fell in a bush and that they “had to call the police to find her.”

Here is the full podcast episode, which includes Jesse’s thoughts on Darcey’s arrest after getting into a fight with her sister, Jesse’s mom, folding pizza, and more! Oh, and Jesse is also put on the spot with a very awkward Amsterdam quiz in retaliation for his condemnation of Darcey for not knowing what all the prominent buildings around New York City are.

Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)

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