CELEBITCHY – The richest man in the world is “madly in love” with his mistress-turned-public girlfriend, and the feeling is mutual, so it sounds like the Jeff Bezos divorce drama is only getting started. Bezos’ PR team got a gushy article into People Magazine, which isn’t surprising; what is is that it kind of makes Bezos look like a douche who simply up and decided to move on from his wife. All of this is to say that the likelihood those dick pics of his get leaked just went up tremendously
THE BLEMISH – Now Pete Davidson is trying to downplay his allegedly big dick, joking that Ariana Grande only said it was big so that any future women Pete got with would be disappointed. To me, this all sounds like a lot of Pete protesting too much — “Oh, my dick? I mean, it’s not *that* big; here, let me show you…”
DLISTED – The Oscars are going host-free, but the Grammys have got their MC: Alicia Keys is hosting on February 10th, and she’ll be the first woman to do so in fourteen years. (Queen Latifah was the last, in 2005 — too long for sure, but still a tough act to follow)
THE BLAST – Donald Trump hosted the College Football National Champions Clemson and served them a ton of cold fast food; he tweeted about it and misspelled “hamburgers”; Burger King promptly mocked Trump’s misspelling; absolutely everything about this story is an embarrassment
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Dog The Bounty Hunter is returning to TV with a new show called Dog’s Most Wanted for WGN America. And Dog’s wife Beth, who’s been battling throat cancer since it returned last autumn, will join him on the show
REALITY TEA – Every time a reality TV star accuses the show’s production of manipulating events, either during filming or in the editing room, I can’t help but roll my eyes. Making things look different than they actually are is the entire point of reality TV, and has been since forever. That said, Vanderpump Rules‘ Ariana Madix was at least entertaining while doing so on Twitter
LAINEY GOSSIP – I didn’t know a third Bad Boys movie was coming out, but it’s actually filming in Atlanta right now. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are both back. And Michael Bay isn’t directing. So maybe this sequel will at least be really fun?
JEZEBEL – It was already a dick-heavy links post today, so enjoy one more tumescence for good measure: “This 1748 Erotic Novel Sure Can Describe a Dick!”
(Photo credit: Jeff Bezos divorce drama via Bauer-Griffin / SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or Twitter @john_starcasm.