VOX – After thirty-two overwhelming wins, over $2.4 million in prize money, the sixteen highest one-day finishes in the show’s history, and some pretty good Twitter shade, Jeopardy! champion James Holzhauer lost last night. The first thing he did afterward was high-five the librarian who beat him
CELEBITCHY – Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk are said to be in a bad place, at least in part because “He doesn’t drink” and “She wants to go out”? This apparently has nothing to do with Lady Gaga, though
REALITY TEA – New Vanderpump Rules cast member Billie Lee, who is also the show’s first and only transgender cast member, credits Lala Kent for helping Billie get through her mental health issues this past season
JEZEBEL – Given her rather extensive legal troubles, it’s hard to see how Lori Loughlin could possibly return for Fuller House Season 5. So the show’s writers will have to get rid of her character…but how?
LAINEY GOSSIP – Last night Jennifer Lopez recieved the CDFA Fashion Awards’ Fashion Icon Award, and while those redundancies were actually fun to type out it was probably more fun to be at the event itself. Here’s J-Lo looking fabulous in a crop-and-skirt that from the waist up looks like a pair of track pants
GO FUG YOURSELF – Speaking of the CDFA Fashion Awards (though not the CDFA Fashion Awards’ Fashion Icon Award specifically), here’s a rundown of other looks from the red carpet. Winnie Harlow’s dress looks like a demented Dr. Seuss character — that’s a good thing
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Teen Mom OG Star Catelynn Lowell Says She’s Making Husband Tyler Baltierra Get a Vasectomy When He Turns 30″
THE BLAST – Here’s the current king of needs-no-improvement headlines: “Miley Cyrus Wants You to Know What Her P***Y Sounds Like”
THE BLEMISH – Yet behold, a challenger to the crown: “‘Influencer’ With Nearly 3 Million Followers Couldn’t Influence 36 of Them to Buy a Shirt”
DLISTED – Evidently Young Thug let one of his very underage daughters drive a car while someone filmed it from the passenger seat. The only winner is The Shade Room, who got almost two million views off the video; Young Thug has 22,000 nasty comments and counting
(Photo credit: James Holzhauer loses via Jeopardy!)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail email@example.com or Twitter @john_starcasm.