THE BLAST – The latest Cardi B and Offset news is that the two of them are apparently not talking reconciliation — nor are they talking to each other at all
JEZEBEL – Do not look at these official, Madame Tussaud-approved wax figures of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle unless you want to have Christmas nightmares well into 2019. If that’s your jam, though, then by all means feast your eyes
VOX – During an Oval Office meeting in front of plenty of TV cameras, Donald Trump tried to strong-arm Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and instead wound up reassuring them that he’ll gladly take all the political fallout when he shuts the government over border wall funding. Sports metaphors aren’t the most apt when it comes to Trump, but has a goalie ever scored an own-goal before?
CELEBITCHY – In other Trump news, it’s possible he was distracted during the meeting because he’s apparently “concern[ed] that he could be impeached when Democrats take over the House” next month
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – The new season of Marriage Boot Camp is basically Love & Hip Hop: Rocky Relationships Edition. Soulja Boy, Nia Riley, Waka Flocka Flame, Tammy Rivera, Lil’ Mo, Karl Dargan, Jessica Dime, Shawne Williams, Lil’ Fizz, and Tiffany Campbell will all feature on the new season, which now has a trailer
REALITY TEA – “Stassi Schroeder Doesn’t Think Kristen Doute Is A Hypocrite For Bashing James Kennedy’s (Alleged) Cheating”
DLISTED – Nicki Minaj didn’t meet her BF Kenneth Petty while the two of them were giving away turkeys on Thanksgiving. No, it seems they first hooked up 20 years ago, when she was a 16-year-old and he had coincidentally just done four years in prison “for pulling a knife on a 16-year-old girl and trying to rape her”
LAINEY GOSSIP – There is a new Godzilla movie coming out soon, but, unlike the 1998 semi-disaster, this one features Godzilla going on a rampage in snow instead of rain. It also stars Millie Bobby Brown from Stranger Things, who is apparently going to be friends with Godzilla somehow? Did Hollywood make a whole movie based on the scene in Jurassic Park where Lex pets the brontosaurus?
THE BLEMISH – It may or may not come as a surprise to learn that Joseph “Reverend Run” Simmons was high AF when he wrote “Christmas In Hollis”
(Photo credits: Cardi B and Offset news via SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or Twitter at @john_starcasm.