Drunk, genital-exposing man reminds us Florida had Halloween too

While celebrities dressed as other celebrities, mostly Miley Cyrus – or her tongue, and network news programs tried to out-awkward each other, a man exposing his drunk-junk to trick-or-treaters reminded us all that Florida celebrated Halloween too.

John Vowels from Deltona, FLA was relaxing at his home in his robe last night and did the neighborly thing by answering the door when kids came a knockin’ looking for goodies. As John greeted visitors he also let them all get a gander at his johnson because he was ONLY wearing his robe.

Two brothers, ages 12 and 14, were out on their candy round-up when other kids warned them that there was a naked man at Vowels’ home. Undeterred, the children knocked at the door and Vowels answered sporting his robe and nothing underneath. Horrified by the lack of treat and all trick from Vowels, the boys ran home and told their dad, who called the cops.

Time for the obligatory Bugs Bunny sawing off Florida GIF!

The internet proves that it ain’t easy being a deputy in the Sunshine State, that has to be doubly true on Halloween night, it has to be triply (is that even a word) true when you get a call about a flasher scaring kids on Halloween night in Florida… When the deputy on call last night arrived, he got the same scary surprise that the poor kids previously had.

John explained to the cop that he may have answered the door in his robe when kids came and that he offered money because he didn’t have any candy. The deputy noted the smell of alcohol on Vowels’ breath and slurred speech.

Vowels was taken into custody and booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail in Daytona Beach.