90 DAY FIANCE Fernanda was suicidal, says Jonathan was abusive, drank too much & more in ‘My Truth’ YouTube video

90 Day Fiance Fernanda YouTube video recap

After six months of being relatively silent, 90 Day Fiance star Fernanda Flores is finally sharing her side of what happened between her and soon-to-be ex-husband Jonathan Rivera in a lengthy YouTube confessional.

“This is my side of the story; my truth,” Fernanda says in the description of her 44-minute video titled My Truth. “I’m simply stating what I went through during my marriage and after it as well,” she continues. “I hope you all can get a glimpse of my side and we can all move on from this.”

The video itself was put together by Chicago videographer Sashel Castillo, and the end result is a well-produced mini-documentary that feels like an actual TLC special. There are clips from the show, social media and news montages, and even an interview with Fernanda’s friend — all of this in addition to Fernanda’s central narrative. It’s really quite impressive!


Oh, and I should point out that the video does not look to be monetized with ads. “This video is simply to tell my side of the story and I am not trying to make any money off of my truth,” Fernanda stated in the description.

Video is now deleted.

After a series of Jonathan clips and headlines about their split, Fernanda starts telling her and Jonathan’s story from the very beginning. Fernanda reveals she had just graduated high school and was on a trip with friends when she first met Jonathan at a club. Everything was great in the beginning as the two really hit it off and enjoyed the time they were able to spend together whenever Jonathan was in Mexico.

Jonathan asked Fernanda to be his date to his mother’s wedding, and she was super excited to go because it would be a great opportunity to get to know him and his family better. Plus, she also has family in Chicago.

Fernanda applied for a tourist visa, which she assumed she would be able to get with the help of her dad, who is a U.S. citizen. However, her dad was going through a divorce at the time, which included child support, so he was not eligible to be her sponsor. As a result, Fernanda was not able to make it to the wedding.

Fernanda was enrolled in college when Jonathan returned to Mexico with an engagement ring. After Fernanda said yes, they spent the next year going through the K-1 visa process. Everything was still amazing for both of them at this point.

Just prior to making the trip to North Carolina, Jonathan revealed to Fernanda that he had been in talks with 90 Day Fiance producers about being featured on the show. Fernanda says she wasn’t 100% on board with the idea. “I told Johnny, ‘I don’t know if this is going to be a good idea,'” Fernanda recalls. As you know already, Fernanda would concede to doing the show.

Fernanda says that she told Jonathan up front that she wanted to be close to her grandparents in Chicago. “Well, I cannot move right now, right away,” Jonathan responded, “but we can live in North Carolina for a year, save enough money so then we can move to Chicago.” Fernanda replied: “OK, great. That’s a deal.”

Fernanda recalls the first time she entered their house in North Carolina. As seen on the show, there was no electricity. Oh, and then Fernanda found another woman’s underwear in Jonathan’s dresser drawer. But, Fernanda reveals in her video that the panties we saw on TV were just the tip of the iceberg!

“That same week I found a lot of stuff,” Fernanda says, “not just underwear — sex toys, pictures, movies and stuff. ‘Dude, you’re supposed to have left your past behind and start fresh with me,'” she told Jonathan. “I know that you were a single man, and I know that you’re older than me, and with age also comes experience and all that, but…” Fernanda says she didn’t understand why he would still have all of these items if they had agreed to “start fresh.” She points out that he had just moved into the house two weeks before she arrived, so he was clearly aware that the stuff was there.

90 Day Fiance Fernanda Flores says Jonathan Rivera had sex toys and more

It was at this time that Fernanda says that she began to realize that Jonathan was a “completely different person” than what he had seemed like up until then.

“I began to realize that he wasn’t close with his family at all. He wasn’t close with his friends,” Fernanda says. “He had his friends, but not like real friends.”

Fernanda says that Jonathan didn’t prioritize family or relationships, just work and money. Oh, and apparently booze. “I realized that he liked to drink WAY too much!” she says.

Despite Jonathan’s alleged obsession with money, Fernanda says he wasn’t very good with it. “He wasn’t careful with money at all,” she reveals, before adding that he would make good money, but then spend it. Fernanda tried to make him understand that if they weren’t smart with money, then they would not be able to follow through on their plan to save up and move to Chicago in a year. “He didn’t really care,” Fernanda says.

Things began to go downhill fast, according to Fernanda. She was limited in her ability to travel without a car and without much of a public transportation system in Lumberton. She attended the gym regularly, and met a friend there — who is featured in the video. Fernanda also enrolled in an English course at a local college, but she would eventually have to quit because Jonathan was not willing to continue taking her to the class.

Eventually, Fernanda also had to stop going to the gym very often — once again because Jonathan was not willing to drive her. Fernanda felt more and more isolated. In addition to needing Jonathan in order to go anywhere, Fernanda also had to ask him for money any time she wanted to buy anything.

Fernanda’s friend Catherine recalls meeting up with Fernanda on several occasions, and Fernanda would break down crying talking about her issues with Jonathan. Fernanda told Catherine that she tried to explain to Jonathan that she was depressed and wanted to see a therapist about it, but he dismissed her claim.

Fernanda says she wasn’t eating well or sleeping much, and she just got more and more sad.

“I knew at that point that she really was dealing with depression,” Catherine says in the video. “She said that one night, or one day, she was there by herself — which was, like, all the time — and she was about to get in the shower, and she had the thought of taking a razor and cutting her wrist.” Catherine was shocked. “I will drive you if you want to go to therapy, if you need to talk to somebody,” she told Fernanda. “I will help you if he will not.”

90 Day Fiance Fernanda was reportedly having suicidal thoughts

Fernanda talks about one altercation she had with Jonathan when they were at a bar in Raleigh with friends. She says Jonathan was drinking heavily, and he left the party at one point with some other guy. While he was away, Fernanda struck up a conversation with a high school friend of Catherine’s who was taking Spanish classes. When Jonathan returned, he was reportedly upset with Fernanda for talking with the guy.

Later in the evening, Jonathan and Fernanda got into a yelling match. “He was yelling at me, calling me b*tch,” Fernanda recalls. “I was so mad at him! I was yelling at him, too, asking for respect.” Fernanda says Jonathan was “so drunk, and high, and I don’t know what else,” and she admits that it was a mistake to fight with him in this state.

Jonathan got upset and demanded that they leave the party. Despite being in an alleged inebriated state, he wanted to drive all the way back to Lumberton. “I didn’t want to get in the car with him,” Fernanda says. “He take me by my arm and he bring me into the car.

“I was so scared, I was crying. I was afraid [for] my life. I was yelling at him and asking him, ‘Please stop! Jonathan please stop the car! Please stop the car! Let me drive! You’re so drunk!’ He was just p*ssed and driving so fast.” Fernanda says Jonathan yelled at her repeatedly to “Shut up!”

“Because I didn’t want to sit quiet,” Fernanda continues, “he was driving with this hand, and he pushed my face out of the window. It hurt me really bad, and I couldn’t believe that he did that!” Fernanda says she remembers silently praying to God that a cop would stop them.

90 Day Fiance Fernanda Jonathan abuse allegations

Fernanda says that the next day Jonathan claimed he didn’t remember anything about their fight. Fernanda says she “flipped out” at that point. “Dude! You put your hands on me! You never did that before, and you’re not going to do it again! That’s not OK!”

Fernanda left the house and called her dad, who told her to come to Houston. So Fernanda informed Jonathan that she was going to Houston to visit her dad and he should take that time to think over what he had done. She says Jonathan cried and begged her not to go. He promised that it would never happen again, and Fernanda agreed not to leave.

Things didn’t improve, and Fernanda later revealed to Jonathan that she wanted to be with her family — either in Mexico or in Chicago. He responded to that by saying that would be something show producers would be really interested in filming. Fernanda was flabbergasted by that reaction. She says that the only things Jonathan cared about were the show, his business, and how he was perceived publicly.

Fernanda then recalls a time she was in Jonathan’s office and found a condom wrapper. She says she “flipped out” at Jonathan and screamed “What the f**k is this!?” Fernanda says that Jonathan reacted by grabbing her by the neck and pushing her into the wall. “That’s not mine!” he screamed. “You’re crazy!”

90 Day Fiance Jonathan Fernanda domestic violence

Fernanda had an epiphany. “That was my future?” she asked herself. “To stay at home 24/7 waiting for a man that is working all the time, that doesn’t care about you, that is cheating on you, and he’s treating you bad, and he’s abusing you? At that point, I didn’t even care what Jonathan was thinking or saying. I just knew that I wanted to be with my family, be safe, ask for help, and be myself again.”

Fernanda then talks about the pre-Christmas altercation she had with Jonathan just before they were scheduled to leave for Chicago. The two of them were at a neighborhood party with Fernanda’s friend Catherine. Fernanda was ready to leave, but Jonathan refused to go. Fernanda walked home alone, and Catherine joined her there after confronting Jonathan at the party and insisting that he go home.

Catherine says Fernanda was crying when Jonathan finally came home. Catherine remembers being frightened by the look on Jonathan’s face. “I told her, I was, like, ‘look, you were leaving for Chicago tomorrow. Please come stay at my house tonight.’ Because I was scared he was gonna put his hands on her.”

Fernanda went home with Catherine, and Catherine recalls talking with Fernanda for a couple of hours about what life was really like with Jonathan. Fernanda said that Jonathan used to call her names all the time, and belittle her any time she tried to talk about being sad or feeling alone. “It started to seem like he was kind of trying to keep her confined at home and just very controlling in the situations that they were in where she really could not have her own life outside of him,” Catherine says.

While in Chicago, Fernanda made plans to go to Houston to be with her dad. She says Jonathan reported her phone as stolen and cancelled her credit card. “I knew that he was doing that to control me,” Fernanda says. “He was doing that to [say], ‘Look, you are nothing without me.'”

Fernanda says she visited a doctor and was diagnosed with anemia.

90 Day Fiance Fernanda hospital anemia

Fernanda also says she was down 30 pounds at one point. Here are before-and-after photos:

90 Day Fiance Fernanda weight loss before and after photos

In addition to visiting a doctor, Fernanda was also seeing a therapist because she was still hopeful that her relationship with Jonathan could be saved. Her therapist wanted Jonathan to attend sessions with her, so she asked him to contact her and set something up. “He didn’t even call her,” Fernanda recalls. “He didn’t care about what was going on with me at all.”

Fernanda says that during this time, women were sending her sexual text messages they had allegedly received from Jonathan. She also says that during this time she was advised by her therapist to stay off of social media.

Fernanda would eventually meet up with Jonathan face-to-face in Chicago. “This time, when you were gone, I realized that I’m better by myself, and I’m not ready to be married,” Jonathan told her. “And my answer was, ‘Too late! You’re already married,'” Fernanda says.”

Fernanda concluded her video by revealing that she will fight to remain in the United States. She then encourages everyone to make sure they value themselves, and that they pursue their dreams — whatever those dreams may be.

As you might imagine, Jonathan wasn’t too thrilled about the video. “These allegations are completely false and my attorney will now be handling the situation,” Jonathan told E! News on Friday after the video was posted. “Clearly, she will do whatever she has to in order to stay in this country.”

Fans of 90 Day Fiance are probably aware that one of the few options available to divorced K-1 spouses for remaining in the United States is if they can prove there was any sort of domestic abuse in the relationship.

Despite Fernanda stating that the video is the last time she will speak publicly about her relationship with Jonathan, something tells me that she will not be able to resist sharing information about her battle to stay in the United States. And I KNOW Jonathan won’t be able to resist talking about it! So, stay tuned.

Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)yahoo.com

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